So there's this girl I like

[putter65]

UPDATE:

Well its been quite a few weeks since I made this thread. A bit has happened. I'll explain if anyone cares to listen. I'm going to assume you've read the first post I made so I don't have to repeat myself.

I started visiting her store once a week on the days I knew she'd be there. I think I did this 4-5 times and pretty sure I saw her each time. The last of the two were the most impacting though I think.

The first one I actually got to talk to her. Probably the first real conversation I had with her in a long time, even though it probably only lasted about a minute. I'll spare the details, but some important things to note was that when we first made eye contact, she quickly looked away (i thought she had noticed me before this, but based on her reaction I guess not). Besides that, I learned she actually works two jobs and this was (i guess) more of a side job for her. Despite not asking her out or anything, this made me feel pretty good that I actually had a conversation with her.

The last time I went in there (last week), nothing of great importance happened, but she did ring me out. I was happy I got to see and briefly talk with her, and that was that.

But last night she came into my store. And when I was least expecting it. I hadn't seen her work on a Sunday in quite a long time. She wasn't wearing her normal work clothes though, so I knew she wasn't working that night. She was wearing normal street clothes, and it was the first time I'd seen her in such. She was beautiful. My heart stopped when I saw her, even though she didn't initially look at me. I was shocked that she actually came into my store on her day off.

Anyway, she didn't take long to get what she needed and walk up to the counter. We both greeted each other and then there was a slight moment of awkward silence. She made a quick smalltalk statement to ease the tension (i guess) and then told me the worst news I've heard in a long time: she was quitting her job next door. I was so anxious that my brain didn't really fully process what that meant at the time. We talked about that for a few seconds and then she left (there was a guy behind him so she couldn't really stay and talk).

It's pretty obvious that she only stopped by that night specifically to tell me she was quitting. I'm pretty devastated over this. Partly because I may not ever get to see her again, which hurts pretty bad in and of itself. But also because she stopped by just to tell me that. Which tells me that she really does like me and possibly may be trying to say "look, this is your last chance, make a move". And that hurts 10 times more. The one time I meet a girl I like, and she actually likes me back, and I feel like we're getting torn apart.

My last hope is that her work requires some kind of 1-2 week notice before someone can quit. Which hopefully means I'll still get to see her this week. But I'm really not sure about that. Like I said, I can only hope. I'm really scared I'll never see her again and that I blew my chances with her. I also had the thought that maybe, since she came to tell me she was leaving, she may come to see me from time to time on her own accord. But I can't really count on that.

Like I said I'm pretty devastated over this whole thing. I can't stop thinking about all of it. One time I heard someone equate the words "lost opportunity" with social anxiety. That's pretty much what I'm feeling now. I feel like I have a deep connection with this girl, despite knowing hardly anything about her. I feel like she's the only one that would really understand me, and that I might understand her pretty well too. It's kind of weird now that I'm thinking about it. It seems strange of how much this is affecting me. Like I said, I hardly know this girl.

I'm mostly just venting... Thanks for reading

get her mobile number, say you want to stay in touch. And after a few weeks ask her for a coffee.

What have you got to lose ?

 

[PlayingSolo]

Well that's kind of the problem. I know what I need to do, I just can't bring myself to do it. Every time I see her I'm just overwhelmed with anxiety and can hardly think straight, let alone ask her for her number...

Like I said I'm almost certain that if I did ask her, she would be delighted because I'm pretty sure she does like me back. But I can't stop my body from reacting like it does...

 

[putter65]

Well that's kind of the problem. I know what I need to do, I just can't bring myself to do it. Every time I see her I'm just overwhelmed with anxiety and can hardly think straight, let alone ask her for her number...

Like I said I'm almost certain that if I did ask her, she would be delighted because I'm pretty sure she does like me back. But I can't stop my body from reacting like it does...

what about facebook then ?

find her on there and send her a message. It's a cowards way of doing it but I understand how you feel. Ive been in your situation so many times. My legs used to go wobbly. It was horrible. Last year I sent a woman a facebook message asking her out and say said 'yes' - so it can work.

 

[PlayingSolo]

Unfortunately I don't know her last name, and I've tried finding her by other means, never having any success

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Dude...Just ask her out. It's do or die.

I asked a chick out in front of her parents...man.
It was the first time i saw her. She was beautiful.
I only spoke to her for 5 mins....
But If I didnt speak up or asker her out I wasnt going to see her again.
I didnt have all this time to let **** spin in my head...but I also knew i would
regret it...if I didnt ask her.

Stopped thinking so god damn much...take ACTIONS.
Asking her out aint rocket science...man.

Of course i had addreline pumping through my vains.
In front of her parents and at church...man

Corage is not without fears.
Those **** up feelings arnt gonna to go away...so you might as will ask her inspite of
the fucken fears....

Im much older now,....but **** man, a man still has to do what a man has to do
to be with the woman he wants....
Im with my woman, now.
I had to take lots of actions and faced lots of fears...
Driving across the country 3 freaken times to be with her....that's scary **** man.
Freaken thousands of miles in between in no man's land in the dark of the night.
The only light i saw was my own mother fucken headlights.
Just the drive alone to be with her was freaky...man. It aint rocket science.

I almost got into a headon callosion 20 miles away from her. That was really freaky.
All kinds of wierd **** could of happen to me on that road trip.
I drove through hails, snow, rain, fog, sun, lighting, thunder..all that ****.
I wasnt driving around the conner to the fucken store....

Do or die...
If i didnt do it..I couldnt be with her today.
I still had to face fears and deal with it...

 

[Klemon]

This is crunch time man, if you don't do something ASAP, you may very well never see her again, that's your worst case scenario if you don't say anything, and it's awful.

I have asked a girl out in person only once in my life and I was terrified at the time. She said no, but it really wasn't THAT bad, and I left the experience happy simply because of the personal achievement I had done. That right there is your second-worst case scenario and it's nowhere as bad as the worst.

Best case scenario is you ask her out and she says yes, and from what you've seen posting, it sounds like that's almost a certainty.

I understand you are struggling with finding the courage to do it as I've been through that before. I don't know if I've experienced it as bad as you are but I know I never expected to be able to have the sort of courage to just ask, but in the end all those nervous feelings and the unpleasantness from it drove me to the point of no return: actually getting the words out. And now I know if I'm ready to ask someone out from now on I'm going to find it much easier.

Remember these three things:

- Asking her out and getting a no is not nearly as bad as letting her exit your life without even trying
- No matter the result you will be so incredibly proud of yourself if you do this, and you will deserve to feel that way. And it will make it easier in the future.
- Everyone on this thread who has posted is betting she's into you too. We all think she'll say yes. How awesome would that be!

Therefore go, young man, do what you have to do while you have the chance. We're all behind you, and those of us who believe in higher powers are praying for you too

 

[ladyforsaken]

Well that's kind of the problem. I know what I need to do, I just can't bring myself to do it. Every time I see her I'm just overwhelmed with anxiety and can hardly think straight, let alone ask her for her number...

Like I said I'm almost certain that if I did ask her, she would be delighted because I'm pretty sure she does like me back. But I can't stop my body from reacting like it does...

Breathe in, breathe out, clear your mind.. and go for it!
Do it before you regret it. At least you'll get something out of it.. whether it be good or bad. Rather than sitting on the fence like this.

You can do it, PS!

 

[Veilside05]

Well that's kind of the problem. I know what I need to do, I just can't bring myself to do it. Every time I see her I'm just overwhelmed with anxiety and can hardly think straight, let alone ask her for her number...

Like I said I'm almost certain that if I did ask her, she would be delighted because I'm pretty sure she does like me back. But I can't stop my body from reacting like it does...

She has already given you the best reason to ask for her contact since she drop by to tell you she is leaving. If you are not going to take the next step, I will be pretty sure nothing will even come out from it. See it from another perspective - you have got nothing to lose either way even if you were rejected.

You know what I will do if I were you in your exact shoes. I will grab a "all the best" card and write down that I wish to have her contact so as to stay in touch. I will pass it to her and ask her to open the card on the spot with a big smile.

 

[putter65]

Unfortunately I don't know her last name, and I've tried finding her by other means, never having any success

Ive asked 5 women out in the last 2 years or so. I know I used text messages or facebook to do it but I DID ask. If I can do it then YOU CAN !

What have you got to lose ?

(All 5 by the way are with blokes now. They were all single when I asked them !)

 

[Seosa]

Just an idea; why not go to the shop where she used to work, preferably when it's quiet, and kindly ask for her full name & possibly her number. It may seem awkward, but if it pays off, it's gotta be worth it. Hope this helps.

 

[Seosa]

I was really hoping this advice would work

 

[PlayingSolo]

Thanks for the responses guys. I honestly didn't expect so many replies. Lots of good advice in there. I'm hopefully going to see her soon. I'll let you all know how it goes. Thanks again for your support.

 

[putter65]

Thanks for the responses guys. I honestly didn't expect so many replies. Lots of good advice in there. I'm hopefully going to see her soon. I'll let you all know how it goes. Thanks again for your support.

good luck !

 

[Seosa]

Fingers crossed, Solo!

 

[PlayingSolo]

Well Idk. I did see her once after my last update post, and she said she had about 10 days left working there. It's been about 8 days since then and I haven't seen her since. It may sound kind of stalkerish but I've seen what car she drives, so its not hard to tell if she's.working or not. Just have to look and see if her car is there. So I'm now thinking that unless she comes to see me again (doubtful) I probably won't see her because I'm going to be busy this weekend.

I'm feeling a bit different toward the whole situation now though. Maybe I've just accepted that we won't ever be together of something, but my feelings towards her are lessening. But I still feel a lot of inner turmoil. It's as if my focus has shifted away from her and back to 'I'm never going to find the right person'. I was getting myself pretty pumped up the other night to actually go and talk to her, only to find out she wasn't even there. It was kind of silly looking back on it to be honest. I guess its just been so nice these past few month to actually have a specific girl to focus my thoughts on, rather than just wondering about every girl that passes by. I just really don't want to go back to that, I freakin hate it. It makes it so hard to have a normal conversation with a girl when I'm constantly thinking if we'd be compatible.

Anyways, there's still a couple days left, but I've given up hope for the most part. Thanks to everyone who posted and offered advice. I appreciate your time and attention.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Why give up hope when hope is still there? Whether it happens or not, that decision is in your hands. Now you're deciding NOT to let this happen. What have you got to lose? Things will not happen if you don't take chances. Even if it doesn't work out after you give it a shot, at least you know you tried!

Come on, PS. Go talk to her already. It may be difficult or nerve-wrecking or whatever. Just go for it. Firstly, you need to believe. You had every reason to believe she likes you. Now believe that this could have a good outcome if you talk to her about it. Come on man!! You are in control!

 

[PlayingSolo]

I guess I didn't say it clearly. What I meant was that I haven't seen her there for about a week now and I just kinda figured she's gone now. Yeah, if I happen to see her I will give it a shot. But like I said I don't think she's working there any more.

 

[perfanoff]

I guess I didn't say it clearly. What I meant was that I haven't seen her there for about a week now and I just kinda figured she's gone now. Yeah, if I happen to see her I will give it a shot. But like I said I don't think she's working there any more.

She did her part, even came to your place.

So maybe next time with another girl you will be more decisive.

 

[PlayingSolo]

I guess I didn't say it clearly. What I meant was that I haven't seen her there for about a week now and I just kinda figured she's gone now. Yeah, if I happen to see her I will give it a shot. But like I said I don't think she's working there any more.

She did her part, even came to your place.

So maybe next time with another girl you will be more decisive.

Perhaps. Although if things continue how they've been going, this will most likely be many years down the road. But whatev. Gives me more time to focus on other things I suppose...

 

[Seosa]

PlayingSolo, please just take the plunge and ask her old employers for her name and/or number, or have you already done so?