Some People Cannot Change

[SophiaGrace]

I am beginning to think this is very true.

Some people just cant change, and when they dont, others, who can change, belittle them.

It's like...i look at some people and they seem to just need guidanace, a finger that points and seems to say "hey that way" and they have the motivation/ambition to change. I envy these people...and I read somewhere that envy is another form of hate. So I guess I hate these people bcause they arent me .

I think I am slowly beginning to realize who I truely am. I am an intelligent young woman, with no hope of actually obtaining ambition, passion or drive.

I am a young woman who has grandiose "magical thinking" that she actualy is ambitious, smart, mature & has her **** together.

I can just hear Brian scoffing in his little corner about lazy people. Hey, I guess I am one of them, which inherently makes me absolutely worthless .

I guess my thesis for this thread is: Some people dont change because they cant, no matter how hard they try, or how much they wish they could. Some people , since they were small children, have never actually shown this propensity and thus do not have it within them.

Oh, but I'll just sit here a bit and laugh at myself, because even as I am saying "some people just cant change" I'll go ahead and act like I believe I can, believing that someday I will actually ******* be super-Lurker, that I can actually someday ******* embody who I dream myself to be deep down. I will act like it and I will fall on my ******* face just like I've done millions of times over .

I resent myself. I resent myself for sabotaging myself. I resent myself for dreaming of someone who I am not and by now have probably shown that I cant be. I resent the fact that people say mindlessly to me over and over again "You can do it lurker."

Is that like a catchphrase? a platitude? Do people actually ever think about what they say anymore? "you can be whoever you want to be?" What the **** are you saying????

Oh yes I am absolutely sure that quadroplegic can someday be a police officer.

If i ever find the person who came up with it I will strangle them.

---

 

[Lonesome Crow]

well....belive it or not. You're not as sick as you might think. You're actually more healthy than a lof of poeple.
You're actaully getting at the core or foundations of recovery principles.

I work the 12 steps program. However there's a lot more to it than that. There's the 12 tradition, 12 concepts, 12 guidelines.

The 12 steps is about getting to know me. Being able to live within myself.

The 12 traditions is about learning how to live with others. The 12 traditions basically tell me in 12 different ways that
I can't change other people...the paradox of that is...It also tells me in 12 different ways...that others can't change me either.

"you don't have to do anything".
This was the attraction. That was the peace and serentiy I found in the rooms of recovery. (If there wasn't a bouch of control freaks around.)
The 12 traditions protect me from control freaks...granted to me by god.
WHY?????....I didn't have to do a god damn thing. I just needed a place where I can rest my werry head and heal my heart.

So how did I stopped drinking and using (evidently, there has to be a change) If i didn't have to do a fucken thing?
Well...I'm a fucken rebel...so don't tell me how to live, how to act, what to belive, what to fucken do....because I do
the fucken opposite just to prove you fucken wrong...not so much to prove that you're are wrong...put to prove to you
that I AM FREE. I HAVE A CHIOCE. What works for you might fucken kill me...so STFU and stop telling me how to fucken die.

Take me as I AM.... I'm not my feelings, I'm not my thoughts, I'm not my behaviors, I'm not my shortcomings, I'm nither good or bad
I'm not my fucken money, I'm not how I look, I'm not my sucess, I'm not my failures, I'm not what I have or don't have.
I came into this life with nothing...I'll leave it with nothing.

I'm aware/awaken/consious of these things...surely if my thoughts and feelings changes...my behavior patterns are capiable of changing too.
Ulitmately it comes down to...It's my chioce and what I want. I have to want to change. The chNGES I make has to be benificail to me. (not to please you.)
Generally....I'll change when I get sick and tired of being sick and tire of my ********....
I have enough of my own ********...so please, don't give me anymore of your ********


I AM a child of a loving god. Thank you very fucken much. I'm good enough for god. If I'm not good enough for you...oh fucken will, that's your fucken problem...you're not god.

FREEDOM is at the pinicle of recovery. In other words...I'll do whatever the **** I want.
If i **** up it's on me...It's my chioce. I need to know this. Not to fucken change for you, get your praise (good 4 fucken me..woohoo) or get back in your good graces (in other words be your fucken pond)

You don't have to change for anyone. You don't have to do anything.

 

[Rol]

A friend of mine used to say that after a certain age it is impossible to change your personality just as it is impossible to change your body constitution. Speaking thus metaphorically, although you might not be able to grow up, still you can be pretty capable of altering your figure. Adding the fact that the mind is a way more flexible stuff than the body, I think, there is a good reason for some optimism.

Of course, I am in no way a proponent of that approach "you can be whoever you want to be?" induced by the radical branch of self-help movement. The silliest mistake, in my opinion, would be an attempt to make an 360-degree turn around (that is typical for bipolars). Neither it would be reasonable to see change as the only right or the best solution. Learning to live with yourself as you are while adopting some minor changes step-by-step is the way which appeals best for me. But, sure, changes within yourself must be accompanied by changes in your environment not to cause a build up of contradictions.

There is a very dramatic song by Black Sabbath - it s called "You Won't Change Me". It is one of my favorites and quite topical to this issue.

 

[Mysis]

Everyone has the capacity to do it, just not everyone has the mentality or the surroundings to enable it. They also usually expect instant results and give up when they don't see them.

Day jobs are good for motication... It's easier to come home and fold laundry when you've already gotten into the habbit of folding and sweeping and getting stuff done all day.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I agree with Mysis. And I'm kind of going through the frustration of someone being stuck in their ways, no matter what anyone says or does. Some people just don't care to.

 

[Spare]

Change isn't impossible. It's just very difficult. Like anything that's worth doing, it takes time and hard work. I'm speaking from experience here. I'm about the laziest person you'll ever know, yet I'm slowly (very slowly) but surely, righting my ship.

If I can do it, ANYBODY can do it.

Good luck!

 

[Punisher]

I've changed... in to a bloody sissy (UN)

 

[Brian]

I can just hear Brian scoffing in his little corner about lazy people. Hey, I guess I am one of them, which inherently makes me absolutely worthless .

Ahem.

I don't scoff.

I brood, and occasionally scold or debase.


I'm prone to bouts of laziness myself, sometimes.

You have to be able to find motivation, something to work for, to be able to escape the laziness. I have this exciting career I'm shooting for that's really hard to break in to, which is why I have motivation to work, because if I want it that bad, I have to. And that's really all I want in life is good work that I enjoy, because so far I'm not good for much else. My alternative is to be stuck in Priest River with a dead end job as a school custodian or some kind of store clerk, or a mill worker with an uncertain future, or I guess I could clear brush until I'm too old for it. And that thought terrifies me. I don't want to be stuck here until I'm retired and buying a house on the lake

What can you use for motivation?

 

[Badjedidude]

Isn't anything wrong with scoffing. (D)

The key to being un-lazy is completely immersing yourself in something; whether it be work, exercise, or whatever. It's like riding an unending wave of activity.

Does that sound hard and involved? Yeah.

Is it worth it?

If you count the lessons you learn and the mountains of crap that you can accomplish, then YES!

 

[oarivan]

The key to being un-lazy is completely immersing yourself in something; whether it be work, exercise, or whatever. It's like riding an unending wave of activity.

That sounds like a lot of work. Is there an easier way?

 

[mintymint]

The key to being un-lazy is completely immersing yourself in something; whether it be work, exercise, or whatever. It's like riding an unending wave of activity.

That sounds like a lot of work. Is there an easier way?

zomg, it be him @_@

 

[Badjedidude]

THE OAR HAS RETURNED!?!?!?!? @_@

I cannot... process.... such... information....

*gasp*

P.S. And I dunno if there is an easier way! I'm too busy to search for one!