Talking At People

[user 148069]

I feel like so many lonely people just talk at people. There’s no back and forth but there’s an expectation that other people should take an interest in you. Like **** stop with the random facts about your day. There is nothing to say back to “I went to the grocery store today.”

"Like **** stop with the random facts about your day."
So what's a perfect conversation according to you?

"There is nothing to say back to “I went to the grocery store today.”
it's more like small talk, a conversation opener in my opinion even if it seems inane

"There’s no back and forth but there’s an expectation that other people should take an interest in you."
I curious how did you arrive at this conclusion?

 

[user 148069]

Buy anything good?
What did you buy me?
Did you take out a loan or just rob a bank?
Did you finally buy milk?

Bought most of the good stuff using only coupons.
I got you a tiny violin keychain.
Amateurs! I sold a kidney!
Yup! Almond milk with coupons

 

[Adamridge79]

So Tfrank, I went to the bait shop today. And a gas station. No grocery store however.

 

[Adamridge79]

So Tfrank, I went to the bait shop today. And a gas station. No grocery store however.

So I lied. I had to go to one to pick up my scripts, forgot about that.

 

[user 188644]

"Like **** stop with the random facts about your day."
So what's a perfect conversation according to you?

"There is nothing to say back to “I went to the grocery store today.”
it's more like small talk, a conversation opener in my opinion even if it seems inane

"There’s no back and forth but there’s an expectation that other people should take an interest in you."
I curious how did you arrive at this conclusion?

This is a perfect conversation according to me. It's about something: an event, an opinion a topic both people can participate in. I'm not suggesting no one is interested in small talk and I'm not specifically talking about small talk. I'm talking about saying things so closed ended that the other person has to try to figure out if you even want to talk about it or were just blurting something out. And doing it frequently. One of my biggest pet peeves is telling someone to "stop it" if they only did it once. Bang the table once getting up out of your seat. There are those people who will cry out "stop it." If someone is just doing something sporadically I'm not going to complain about it.

It's not a small talk opener. They will do is do this to change the subject among other things. You say something you think is interesting. Them: "oh okay. I ate tacos today they were good." Another thing they do is give closed ended answers frequently which puts you back at square 1.

How did I come to this conclusion? I experienced it. In fact it's part of why my original post probably seems antagonistic. I just got done experiencing it, also it was late and I wrote it on my phone lol. I'm not talking about everyone or even a lot of people.

 

[user 188644]

So I lied. I had to go to one to pick up my scripts, forgot about that.

Proud of you bud.

 

[Adamridge79]

I know...no tacos, good or otherwise.

 

[Adamridge79]

And that is you give a close ended answer.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Bought most of the good stuff using only coupons.
I got you a tiny violin keychain.
Amateurs! I sold a kidney!
Yup! Almond milk with coupons

I wish I could use coupons...I sometimes clip them when people give them to me or if I remember to do the digital coupons, but I always forget to actually use them...
Awww, you're so sweet, I love it!
Selling a kidney requires downtime. Ain't nobody got time for that.
Unsweetened, vanilla, chocolate, brand?

 

[Abstamyous]

I've been on the opposite side, where someone is pushing me to talk more when there's nothing to talk about. Like there's something I'm hiding, when the reality is there is simply nothing going on. And when I do come up with something, similar to what you mentioned in the OP, they can't believe that that is all.

It would help if there wasn't so much value into expecting people to be interesting to everyone. Or if people could exist without fearing rejection for not being interesting enough.

 

[user 188644]

I've been on the opposite side, where someone is pushing me to talk more when there's nothing to talk about. Like there's something I'm hiding, when the reality is there is simply nothing going on. And when I do come up with something, similar to what you mentioned in the OP, they can't believe that that is all.

It would help if there wasn't so much value into expecting people to be interesting to everyone. Or if people could exist without fearing rejection for not being interesting enough.

I just think the path to trying or appearing like you're trying is way simple and thus you come off disinterested at best. But at the same time if you're not complaining no one takes an interest in you then you're all good in my book. I think people here think I'm subtweeting them lol. I'm complaining about my long time friend.

 

[user 148069]

I think people here think I'm subtweeting them lol. I'm complaining about my long time friend.

I think it would help if you mentioned that in your original post. There has been a few instances here (this is just based on my observation) where someone would vague post after people disagreed with them and said that they were being bullied. I didn't think you were referring to anyone here in particular but I did remembered one of your earlier threads where it was mentioned that you find depressed people self indulgent and both threads just came across as generalizing and a bit antagonizing? Since there is new information, now I know that you were just frustrated about the situation with your friend.

I also wanted to apologize for coming across as antagonizing in my previous reply. I'm trying to deal with my mum's chemotherapy and also got recent news that my father in-law passed away from cancer as well. I'm just exhausted so I hope I still sound coherent.

 

[Adamridge79]

Tfrank....did you go to the store?

 

[user 188644]

I think it would help if you mentioned that in your original post. There has been a few instances here (this is just based on my observation) where someone would vague post after people disagreed with them and said that they were being bullied. I didn't think you were referring to anyone here in particular but I did remembered one of your earlier threads where it was mentioned that you find depressed people self indulgent and both threads just came across as generalizing and a bit antagonizing? Since there is new information, now I know that you were just frustrated about the situation with your friend.

I also wanted to apologize for coming across as antagonizing in my previous reply. I'm trying to deal with my mum's chemotherapy and also got recent news that my father in-law passed away from cancer as well. I'm just exhausted so I hope I still sound coherent.

Fun fact that post you’re referring to was about me.

I wrote it this way because I want my opinion challenged. I want to try to think about it a different way. I don’t want to contaminate the discussion though. It doesn’t make me happy to upset anyone I don’t set it to do it. I could be a much better writer certainly and succinct isn’t a strength of mine either. Succinct and non abrasive is not a combination I excel at, but I’m working on it.

its all good. It was pretty clear you didn’t like what I wrote, rightfully so, but you weren’t rude. I’m sorry for your and your family’s loss. Hopefully your mom’s chemo goes well and she enjoys a permanent remission. If you ever need to talk I’m here for you.

 

[Adamridge79]

So...no store...they need you're money

 

[user 188644]

Tfrank....did you go to the store?

I’ve been to the store several times since making this post. I’ve got such incredible stories that HBO optioned the series before I even started writing the books.

 

[Adamridge79]

Go to stores...they have walls and stuff

 

[user 188644]

Good example of what I’m talking about. Very clever.