Thank you parents and bullies for making me a lonely man.

[user 190648]

I completely agree with 58-Voyager about two things:
- many and many "psychotherapists" are nothing but dry, formal bodies who went there only bc the high financial income - they can even worsen the harm, rather to heal it; the "ready model advice" types that are cozy to give, bc it is uncozy to admit that fates are different and sometimes the bad is indeed too hard.
- nerdiness can help in assuming things; I mean, when you are inclined, or with higher capabilities in the analytical thinking, you can make the sense that what you are getting, is harm, and that you have to AVOID "paying it forward", instead copying it to any other interaction in your life.

In short...
so sad, and I do hope it has went GOOD in the end.

 

[user 190648]

I know this thread is old and the poster hasn't been around for ages. but I wanted to make one point about all of this which is relevant to many of us on this forum.

We can (rightly so in most cases) put the blame on others for the difficulties in our past and the resultant effects upon ourselves that make life difficult, because it definitely contributed to our current situation and circumstances, but the future is ours to control. Anyone with the intelligence of the OP can distinguish what has caused our situation and then implement strategies and changes to improve their lives. Some folks need guidance with that, but people on here, like the OP, that have enough cognitive ability to be posting as they do, shouldn't have too much difficulty understanding and recognising what needs to be done. The challenge is making the decision to do what is needed, which can certainly be more challenging for some, but not impossible. Unless you're in prison, or are shackled in a basement somewhere, or medicated to the point of inability, you should be able to make changes in your life that can positively affect your situation.

I hope @58 Voyager had a favourable outcome to his difficult circumstances.

I feel you, Oki. What I only want to add/repeat, is that what we call "free choice" is based upon every unit in the chain of our experience along the road; and when the units that give us strength are incomparably smaller in number than the ones which give us strength, the healthy free choice can delay to be implemented. I don't say that we have to sit and wait the fate to "fill up our bag" with strengthening experiences, I only say that the cases indeed sometimes differ too much one from the other.

The shorter way to what I wanted to say, is: we need some help in keeping our motivation to heal/improve/change, and when we get too much desperation, it can make us lose motivation.

Again, this doesn't mean that we have to passively wait for things to go better for us. Absolutely no.