I logged in today to try and delete my account, it's a long and boring story, but it seems I'll have to wait a while.
I just wanted to thank everyone that has inboxed me their details and I will keep them and try to stay in contact, cheers you lot I'm quite touched.
I'm good Ska,, I prefer being a lover but if the situation requires I can be a very tenacious fighter I'll beat this. Love ya man (obviously not in a gay way
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This post
https://www.alonelylife.com/threads/dating-someone-bipolar-need-some-advice.45771/#post-1079847 is not only a perfect example
of the stigma and ignorance people who suffer from mental illnesses face everyday but also of the posters peculiar and particularly nasty form of gaslighting.
It's a tactic she uses often, a quick search will show plenty of other examples. It's very similar to a tactic used by politicians, Keir Starmer here in the UK is a good example.
The message is always clear.
When someone is vilified and disliked by such a large number of people, despite what they think, it's almost certainly they and not the rest of the world that is the problem.
There's a lot of reasons that I no longer want to be here and this is the major one. I. like so many others over the years, can no longer stomach her.
Next time any of you wonder why it's so dead around here you really don't need to look far.
It's been fun guys, I've meet some truly inspirational and truly beautiful souls here over the years.
See ya on the over side.
This has got to be one of the saddest posts I've read here, in a while
I hope you do defeat whatever it is you've been dealing with lately, it sounds like there's more to it than just the forum.
As far as leaving the forum goes, I myself have almost left in anger more than once. I've considered going out in an explosion of fire and venom. There have been a few members over the years that I'd been white-hot furious with. Had this forum been a brick-and-mortar location, some of these fights would absolutely have been physical.
But I always ended up staying - even after the last one, which was also the worst one. I was so mad, I thought, I can not, will not share any space, online or off, with people that make me this angry, because I'm just going to keep wanting a piece of them until I feel the score is settled, and it's not mentally healthy for me to purposefully go to places where there are people that anger me so much it physically hurts.
At first I wanted to blow up.
Then, I thought I would I come back intending to just give people some contact info and leave.
I decided not to blow up because that would have given the people that angered me, exactly what they wanted, and I didn't want to give them the satisfaction.
Then, I settled back in to friendly interactions with the members again.
This coincided with changing my mind about a few things, and shedding some of the stuff that made me so mad in the past.
Some of the issues that caused me to have problems with some members, faded away, and when I no longer had the issues, I no longer had the problems. There was no sense in continuing to have beefs with people over things that I was no longer angry about, just for the sake of maintaining a beef.
Other problems just became irrelevant, as the people I had problems with weren't active here anymore - and instead, lots of people that I did enjoy, were.
And before long, I realized that I wanted to stay, not because everything was magically OK with some of the people that made me angry - like the people that bullied me growing up, it's not OK, and I don't really forgive, but I can intentionally forget, forgetting is the best I can do, I try not to hold on to it all by forgetting and realizing these people aren't relevant to my life, and so far it's worked though it took some time - but anyway, I stayed because I realized that the people I enjoyed made me feel better, than the ones I didn't made me feel bad. The good ones were worth not exploding in anger for. I realized it was better to give more weight, more meaning and importance, to the people that made me feel good, instead of the small minority (that isn't and hasn't even been active) that made me feel bad. I didn't want to let the few bad ones define and spoil this whole place for me. I didn't want to give them the most say, the loudest voice, the most impact on me.
My point was not to congratulate myself on overcoming some of the issues I had in the past, and on not blowing up and leaving. It was to say that if you can overlook or ignore the problems you may have with some members, the forum can have a good side, can be a good place to be. There's a lot of people here that like you, and would be sad to see you gone.
There were so many cool, nice people I wouldn't have met, wouldn't have even known they existed, if I'd blown up, or even just quietly left like I thought I might - so many people that have either made me feel better with support, or otherwise brightened my days - people I've really enjoyed. And I definitely count you among them. Your posts have made me laugh, made me think, and picked me up so many times. In fact, if it's not going too far, I'd consider you a friend.
I wish you would reconsider and stay, though I will understand if you can't.
The forum will be smaller and less jolly without you, that's for sure.
I will miss your jokes, insights, music chats, and your overall presence and character.
I'll miss you.
I believe you have my contact info, and as with so many others here and elsewhere, including my own family and close offline friends, I've been abysmal at keeping in touch in a timely manner, but I will try to improve. It's not personal, and not disinterest. It's just that my burnout and disorganization gets in the way at times.
May the Force be with you,
Ska
