Thanks and so long

[user 135671]

I logged in today to try and delete my account, it's a long and boring story, but it seems I'll have to wait a while.

I just wanted to thank everyone that has inboxed me their details and I will keep them and try to stay in contact, cheers you lot I'm quite touched.
I'm good Ska,, I prefer being a lover but if the situation requires I can be a very tenacious fighter I'll beat this. Love ya man (obviously not in a gay way )

This post https://www.alonelylife.com/threads/dating-someone-bipolar-need-some-advice.45771/#post-1079847 is not only a perfect example
of the stigma and ignorance people who suffer from mental illnesses face everyday but also of the posters peculiar and particularly nasty form of gaslighting.
It's a tactic she uses often, a quick search will show plenty of other examples. It's very similar to a tactic used by politicians, Keir Starmer here in the UK is a good example.
The message is always clear.

When someone is vilified and disliked by such a large number of people, despite what they think, it's almost certainly they and not the rest of the world that is the problem.
There's a lot of reasons that I no longer want to be here and this is the major one. I. like so many others over the years, can no longer stomach her.

Next time any of you wonder why it's so dead around here you really don't need to look far.

It's been fun guys, I've meet some truly inspirational and truly beautiful souls here over the years.

See ya on the over side.

 

[okidoke]

Good luck with whatever you do.

 

[TheRealCallie]

This thread is a perfect example of the ignorance of people who assume they know people when they don't. Seriously people, stop assuming you know the motives and meaning behind what people post. You don't. You never will, unless you ask.

I don't really know what your problem with me has been lately, but whatever. I don't care, that's on you, not me. Good luck to you and I hope you figure it out because it will only destroy you in the end if you don't.

 

[user 135671]

Good luck with whatever you do.

Thanks cobber, you're an asset to this forum ... don't let the b*stards grind you down

 

[okidoke]

i was ground down years ago. now i'm a fine powder that you don't want to get in your eyes or on your tongue. i try to choose where i drift now.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I logged in today to try and delete my account, it's a long and boring story, but it seems I'll have to wait a while.

I just wanted to thank everyone that has inboxed me their details and I will keep them and try to stay in contact, cheers you lot I'm quite touched.
I'm good Ska,, I prefer being a lover but if the situation requires I can be a very tenacious fighter I'll beat this. Love ya man (obviously not in a gay way )

This post https://www.alonelylife.com/threads/dating-someone-bipolar-need-some-advice.45771/#post-1079847 is not only a perfect example
of the stigma and ignorance people who suffer from mental illnesses face everyday but also of the posters peculiar and particularly nasty form of gaslighting.
It's a tactic she uses often, a quick search will show plenty of other examples. It's very similar to a tactic used by politicians, Keir Starmer here in the UK is a good example.
The message is always clear.

When someone is vilified and disliked by such a large number of people, despite what they think, it's almost certainly they and not the rest of the world that is the problem.
There's a lot of reasons that I no longer want to be here and this is the major one. I. like so many others over the years, can no longer stomach her.

Next time any of you wonder why it's so dead around here you really don't need to look far.

It's been fun guys, I've meet some truly inspirational and truly beautiful souls here over the years.

See ya on the over side.

This has got to be one of the saddest posts I've read here, in a while

I hope you do defeat whatever it is you've been dealing with lately, it sounds like there's more to it than just the forum.

As far as leaving the forum goes, I myself have almost left in anger more than once. I've considered going out in an explosion of fire and venom. There have been a few members over the years that I'd been white-hot furious with. Had this forum been a brick-and-mortar location, some of these fights would absolutely have been physical.

But I always ended up staying - even after the last one, which was also the worst one. I was so mad, I thought, I can not, will not share any space, online or off, with people that make me this angry, because I'm just going to keep wanting a piece of them until I feel the score is settled, and it's not mentally healthy for me to purposefully go to places where there are people that anger me so much it physically hurts.

At first I wanted to blow up.
Then, I thought I would I come back intending to just give people some contact info and leave.
I decided not to blow up because that would have given the people that angered me, exactly what they wanted, and I didn't want to give them the satisfaction.
Then, I settled back in to friendly interactions with the members again.
This coincided with changing my mind about a few things, and shedding some of the stuff that made me so mad in the past.
Some of the issues that caused me to have problems with some members, faded away, and when I no longer had the issues, I no longer had the problems. There was no sense in continuing to have beefs with people over things that I was no longer angry about, just for the sake of maintaining a beef.
Other problems just became irrelevant, as the people I had problems with weren't active here anymore - and instead, lots of people that I did enjoy, were.
And before long, I realized that I wanted to stay, not because everything was magically OK with some of the people that made me angry - like the people that bullied me growing up, it's not OK, and I don't really forgive, but I can intentionally forget, forgetting is the best I can do, I try not to hold on to it all by forgetting and realizing these people aren't relevant to my life, and so far it's worked though it took some time - but anyway, I stayed because I realized that the people I enjoyed made me feel better, than the ones I didn't made me feel bad. The good ones were worth not exploding in anger for. I realized it was better to give more weight, more meaning and importance, to the people that made me feel good, instead of the small minority (that isn't and hasn't even been active) that made me feel bad. I didn't want to let the few bad ones define and spoil this whole place for me. I didn't want to give them the most say, the loudest voice, the most impact on me.

My point was not to congratulate myself on overcoming some of the issues I had in the past, and on not blowing up and leaving. It was to say that if you can overlook or ignore the problems you may have with some members, the forum can have a good side, can be a good place to be. There's a lot of people here that like you, and would be sad to see you gone.

There were so many cool, nice people I wouldn't have met, wouldn't have even known they existed, if I'd blown up, or even just quietly left like I thought I might - so many people that have either made me feel better with support, or otherwise brightened my days - people I've really enjoyed. And I definitely count you among them. Your posts have made me laugh, made me think, and picked me up so many times. In fact, if it's not going too far, I'd consider you a friend.

I wish you would reconsider and stay, though I will understand if you can't.
The forum will be smaller and less jolly without you, that's for sure.
I will miss your jokes, insights, music chats, and your overall presence and character.
I'll miss you.

I believe you have my contact info, and as with so many others here and elsewhere, including my own family and close offline friends, I've been abysmal at keeping in touch in a timely manner, but I will try to improve. It's not personal, and not disinterest. It's just that my burnout and disorganization gets in the way at times.

May the Force be with you,

Ska

 

[funnylife33]

Football is a simple game. Twenty-two men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans always win.

Gary Lineker

 

[funnylife33]

Your attitude is like a box of crayons that color your world. Constantly color your picture gray, and your picture will always be bleak. Try adding some bright colors to the picture by including humor, and your picture begins to lighten up.


Allen Klein

 

[funnylife33]

Champions are not the ones who always win races - champions are the ones who get out there and try. And try harder the next time. And even harder the next time. 'Champion' is a state of mind. They are devoted. They compete to best themselves as much if not more than they compete to best others. Champions are not just athletes.


Simon Sinek

 

[kaetic]

It would be nice if we could all share our opinions without getting riled up and upset by them when we disagree. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be the normal response anywhere anymore, if it ever was. I wish you the best of luck in all your endeavors, and I'm sorry you feel you need to delete everything and leave... I've felt like that before and all I needed was to just log out and take a break.

Maybe we'll meet again, but if not, Have a good life, Randomguy.

 

[Finished]

I KNOW exactly what you are talking about and why many others have left. It's mainly why I rarely come here. But, maybe just keep your account and walk away for awhile or a long time. I wish you well.

 

[kaetic]

I KNOW exactly what you are talking about and why many others have left. It's mainly why I rarely come here. But, maybe just keep your account and walk away for awhile or a long time. I wish you well.

Long time no see Finished. How are things on your forum going?

 

[TheRealCallie]

Yes, there are some people here who vilify and dislike me, but there are just as many who don't. Maybe take a look at the people who vilify me. They deliberately misinterpret what I say and/or are only wanting yes men to justify what they say. I may be blunt and I may often say the unpopular opinion, but I'm never insulting, unlike some people.

Then you have those here who think I'm "protected" for whatever reason. This thread proves that I am not. If it were anyone else being attacked like this on open forum, it would have been, at the very least, locked. But no, it's been allowed to remain and have people continue to attack and vilify me.

Don't like me or what I say? That's fine, no one is asking you to. Perhaps just try the damn ignore button if you don't want to see what I post. Many of you have no damn idea what I've been through in my life. Some of you even seem to be under the impression that my life is perfect and I've never had any issues. Plain and simple, you don't know me. You don't know my intentions and your opinion of me means nothing. The people who actually know me and also my own opinion are the only opinions that matter to me. You want to go behind the scenes or even post on open forum "warning" people about me? That's fine too. If people can't think for themselves and draw their own conclusions, I don't want them in my life anyway. Those who want to know my story and why I'm here are free to ask me. Those who just want to vilify me and believe people who don't even know me can just go ahead and put me on ignore now.

 

[ardour]

I'm sorry to see you go. You're one of the more upbeat people the forum needed.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Yes, there are some people here who vilify and dislike me, but there are just as many who don't. Maybe take a look at the people who vilify me. They deliberately misinterpret what I say and/or are only wanting yes men to justify what they say. I may be blunt and I may often say the unpopular opinion, but I'm never insulting, unlike some people.

Then you have those here who think I'm "protected" for whatever reason. This thread proves that I am not. If it were anyone else being attacked like this on open forum, it would have been, at the very least, locked. But no, it's been allowed to remain and have people continue to attack and vilify me.

Don't like me or what I say? That's fine, no one is asking you to. Perhaps just try the **** ignore button if you don't want to see what I post. Many of you have no **** idea what I've been through in my life. Some of you even seem to be under the impression that my life is perfect and I've never had any issues. Plain and simple, you don't know me. You don't know my intentions and your opinion of me means nothing. The people who actually know me and also my own opinion are the only opinions that matter to me. You want to go behind the scenes or even post on open forum "warning" people about me? That's fine too. If people can't think for themselves and draw their own conclusions, I don't want them in my life anyway. Those who want to know my story and why I'm here are free to ask me. Those who just want to vilify me and believe people who don't even know me can just go ahead and put me on ignore now.

I don't want to seem rude by only saying a short reply, but for the record I just wanted to say:

I'm sure there are some of us here, that are not "anti-you" - we are just sad to see Randomguy go.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Long time no see Finished. How are things on your forum going?

^ Also, this as well.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I don't want to seem rude by only saying a short reply, but for the record I just wanted to say:

I'm sure there are some of us here, that are not "anti-you" - we are just sad to see Randomguy go.

Oh no, that wasn't in any way about you or what you posted or anyone wishing him good luck or saying they are sad to see him go. I also wished him good luck and I meant it. But when someone who hasn't posted in over a year comes back to add fuel to the fire, not to mention others in similar situations coming back simply to "like" the added fuel, I have issues with that. I have issues with people here being allowed to attack me like this and nothing is done about it.

I'm not saying anyone has to like me, but I damn well don't deserve to be treated like this when the only reason people have issues with me is because they don't agree with my opinion.

 

[kaetic]

Oh no, that wasn't in any way about you or what you posted or anyone wishing him good luck or saying they are sad to see him go. I also wished him good luck and I meant it. But when someone who hasn't posted in over a year comes back to add fuel to the fire, not to mention others in similar situations coming back simply to "like" the added fuel, I have issues with that. I have issues with people here being allowed to attack me like this and nothing is done about it.

I'm not saying anyone has to like me, but I **** well don't deserve to be treated like this when the only reason people have issues with me is because they don't agree with my opinion.

I'm not saying it's fair, but I think you make an easy scapegoat for some people. You have a tendency towards brutal but honest, and while I love that about you... I mean, you told me yourself that tensions run high on here. Don't let them rile you up.

And, yeah, I wish people would stop blaming others for their own choices. This is no different from the "real world". If you wouldn't say it to some ones face, and risk a punch in your own, then don't say it on here. Bambi has lots of nice quotes. "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

And yeah, I have a problem with this too sometimes. That's why I needed a break.

 

[TheSkaFish]

This is no different from the "real world". If you wouldn't say it to some ones face, and risk a punch in your own, then don't say it on here. Bambi has lots of nice quotes. "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

Totally agree with this, and have felt this way for a long time.

This really isn't any different from the real world, but some people in the past have acted like it was, and taken advantage of the fact that it is digital, to say things to me that they KNOW d*mn well would catch them a beatdown had they said it to me in person. The fact that I knew, that they knew this, and that I knew, and they knew, that they were cowards, just made me madder.

Thankfully it was all a long time ago now, and that things have been relatively good here for a while. At least, from my point of view, things have been pretty good since about 2020ish.