The Cookie Cutter

[okidoke]

Recently I was accused of providing "cookie cutter" responses in threads. The person is certainly entitled to their opinion and I bear no malice toward them for their comment. I actually don't know what they meant by the term, but it made me think about how we all see the world in slightly different ways due to all of our varied experiences and emotional states, and how an innocent comment can be taken many ways by different people. I think too often tones and emotions are read into some comments where none are meant, or presumptions and judgements are unnecessarily or unjustly made. Personally I don't like to infer any such thing unless it is made clear with certain words or emojis, otherwise I just read the words for what they are. I have a bit of an anxiety about my meaning or point being misunderstood because of things in my past and I try very hard to be clear with my words, even though I do have trouble at times articulating exactly what I want to put across and my vocabulary abilities elude me often when I need them. In fact, I get so anxious about being taken the wrong way that I often consider halting any further correspondence.

What do you think about the way you write your own words? Do you assume that everyone just understands what you're trying to say, that your words are clear, conveying the precise meaning you intend?

Edit - I have since looked up what a cookie-cutter response is and I guess my comments to people might be similar because what they post is similar to what others have said. I do try to individualise my responses where i can, but it depends on what they say. I'm certainly not implying that one solution fits all.

 

[user 135671]

I write whatever I feel, since I've been here I've come to realise I'll often be misunderstood, I will explain myself to those whom I feel deserve an explanation. The rest are free to make assumptions.

 

[user 139760]

I write whatever I feel, since I've been here I've come to realise I'll often be misunderstood, I will explain myself to those whom I feel deserve an explanation. The rest are free to make assumptions.

Same, pretty much. I don't really care what people think of me. Can't control their perceptions and, oft enough, they'll be skewed by their own perceptions rather than a real desire to know what I'm talking about. Not my problem. I know me, those I chose to know me and that suits me just fine.

 

[okidoke]

I write whatever I feel, since I've been here I've come to realise I'll often be misunderstood, I will explain myself to those whom I feel deserve an explanation. The rest are free to make assumptions.

Same, pretty much. I don't really care what people think of me. Can't control their perceptions and, oft enough, they'll be skewed by their own perceptions rather than a real desire to know what I'm talking about. Not my problem. I know me, those I chose to know me and that suits me just fine.

It's not so much about caring what people think of me, I mean, I know some people will never like you no matter what, and others will love you no matter what. I just don't want my meaning, my intentions, to be misunderstood. Absolutely understand what I say, and only then love or hate me for it.

 

[user 139760]

It's not so much about caring what people think of me, I mean, I know some people will never like you no matter what, and others will love you no matter what. I just don't want my meaning, my intentions, to be misunderstood. Absolutely understand what I say, and only then love or hate me for it.

Lol well now...tall order, isn't it?
If that was possible I think, there'd be world peace and no wars fought over ridiculous reasons...
I believe people are far too different for that to ever happen. With anyone. That would mean someone is a communicator without flaws and I don't think that exists. Or ever will.
Buy someone a rose, they'll either see a declaration of love, a declaration of war or everything in between. Everyone misunderstands everyone else, even the closest of friends, from time to time. The trick is, I believe, to know the intention behind the words. If the intent isn't to be malicious, it shouldn't be taken as such.
But, again, that's out of our purview.
People often love you or hate you for what they think you said, not what you're actually trying to say.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I write whatever I feel, since I've been here I've come to realise I'll often be misunderstood, I will explain myself to those whom I feel deserve an explanation. The rest are free to make assumptions.

This is me, I agree! I cant think of a nicer way to say this. So im just going to say here here! To Randomguys point.

As for OP, I haven't noticed any sort of cookie cutter responses from you in my humble opinion, nothing to have anxiety over though, many people on here can pretend they think you are implying things to have a reason to attack you out of nowhere it’s boring.

If I gave you some examples you would think wtf… like say I put my mood on mood thread as envious, someone would PM me and say hey you just wrote in the post below mine envious, so you are implying that I am envious of you when you arent all that because blah blah blah attack attack attack. This is a true story lol at some point people are purposefully looking for reasons to misunderstand you.

 

[okidoke]

Lol well now...tall order, isn't it?
If that was possible I think, there'd be world peace and no wars fought over ridiculous reasons...
I believe people are far too different for that to ever happen. With anyone. That would mean someone is a communicator without flaws and I don't think that exists. Or ever will.
Buy someone a rose, they'll either see a declaration of love, a declaration of war or everything in between. Everyone misunderstands everyone else, even the closest of friends, from time to time. The trick is, I believe, to know the intention behind the words. If the intent isn't to be malicious, it shouldn't be taken as suck.
But, again, that's out of our purview.
People often love you or hate you for what they think you said, not what you're actually trying to say.

I guess you’re right. And I don’t like that you’re right lol

 

[user 135671]

like say I put my mood on mood thread as envious

Yeah, we all know this is because me having better hair than you gives you sleepless nights Princess

 

[TheRealCallie]

A cookie cutter response can also mean that you give the same advice as everyone else. Like the good old "just be yourself" is a cookie cutter response. It's a true one, but still cookie cutter. lol
As for interpretations, it's impossible to be interpreted correctly all the time because no one thinks the same. People are going to interpret based on their feelings and beliefs, not yours, so it's not uncommon for things to get misinterpreted. Or, like Ceno said, they are deliberately doing it to cause trouble.

 

[ringwood]

Much like randomguy and Richard have said, I write whatever I feel at the time. If that causes misunderstandings or confusion, my inbox is always open if someone wants clarification on my meaning.

 

[Abstamyous]

I find your views to be genuine and individual. Of course, that is just my personal assumption. I write what I write, no one has to understand or get anything out of it. I feel like I'm too old to really second guess someone else's words, if they aren't close to me. And I like what Ringwood said, about PMs being open for misunderstandings.

 

[user 188685]

Recently I was accused of providing "cookie cutter" responses in threads. The person is certainly entitled to their opinion and I bear no malice toward them for their comment. I actually don't know what they meant by the term, but it made me think about how we all see the world in slightly different ways due to all of our varied experiences and emotional states, and how an innocent comment can be taken many ways by different people. I think too often tones and emotions are read into some comments where none are meant, or presumptions and judgements are unnecessarily or unjustly made. Personally I don't like to infer any such thing unless it is made clear with certain words or emojis, otherwise I just read the words for what they are. I have a bit of an anxiety about my meaning or point being misunderstood because of things in my past and I try very hard to be clear with my words, even though I do have trouble at times articulating exactly what I want to put across and my vocabulary abilities elude me often when I need them. In fact, I get so anxious about being taken the wrong way that I often consider halting any further correspondence.



What do you think about the way you write your own words? Do you assume that everyone just understands what you're trying to say, that your words are clear, conveying the precise meaning you intend?



Edit - I have since looked up what a cookie-cutter response is and I guess my comments to people might be similar because what they post is similar to what others have said. I do try to individualise my responses where i can, but it depends on what they say. I'm certainly not implying that one solution fits all.

People will think of you and judge you, no matter what you do or say,
I try to not let it get to me ,with whatever people think of me,people will either love you or not.

 

[4No1]

I write what I think.
I don't expect people to understand, due to my lack of English and lack of words in any language. I do my best, but Chat GPT writes/talks much more better than I do. I avoid to write in some topics, where I feel I can hurt someone with my inacurate words(I mean those who really can be hurt, not those who can be offended by anything).
Quite often I write and then delete it without sending, cause it's stupid or not interesting to others.
IRL every time I try to explain what I mean, it's getting worse, so I try to avoid explaining)

 

[Unsigned]

I write what I think as well, and I do agree that the global membership base here will almost guarantee that people will misunderstand.
Someone a few weeks ago called me "disgusting", which I can certainly understand, but the example given was in reference to a comment I made that was completely benign. So yeah... lot's of misinterpretations IMO.

EDIT:
The member who called me "disgusting" unfortunately seems to have loads of issues, so I really did not take it personally...

 

[okidoke]

@sunflowergirl1306 you quoted me but never wrote a reply

To those others who have replied, you might just write what you think as well, and not expect people to understand, or don't care etc, BUT, do you try to take care in what you write, or don't really think that much about it? Like, are you sort of apathetic to the words you use or more careful to convey your meaning?

 

[ringwood]

@sunflowergirl1306 you quoted me but never wrote a reply

To those others who have replied, you might just write what you think as well, and not expect people to understand, or don't care etc, BUT, do you try to take care in what you write, or don't really think that much about it? Like, are you sort of apathetic to the words you use or more careful to convey your meaning?

As someone who makes their living as a writer, I definitely take care in what I write. I try to be concise in my thoughts and use language and words that express the meaning behind what I'm trying to convey. I usually give myself a fair amount of time to mull over exactly what it is I want to say and how to say it. That said, because I make my living as a writer, I also have a tendency to come here and spew out whatever happens to be on my mind at any given moment. . . What can I say? It's freeing to not have to give much thought to the written word after a long day of being inside your own head. I also consider A.L.L. a bit of a 'safe zone' where I can divulge things on my mind that I wouldn't elsewhere.

Edit: Reading what Unsigned wrote below brings to mind an exception to what I've expressed. I have been known to get into a few heated discussions around here or gotten really pissed off with certain people in the past - mostly because they were being ignorant *honeysuckles* or otherwise blatantly obnoxious and confrontational. In those cases, no - I haven't given much thought at all to what I'm writing and just let the fingers fly.

 

[Unsigned]

do you try to take care in what you write, or don't really think that much about it? Like, are you sort of apathetic to the words you use or more careful to convey your meaning?

I am usually careful.
Exceptions are:
1) If I am posting while drunk. Which I really hate doing. And I am cutting down quite a bit on the drinking part.
2) If I allow myself to get sucked into a political argument, like with that troll who was here a couple of months ago.

But when I say careful I mean careful to what I think may be hurtful or insulting. Which I believe may not be as restrictive as what younger person would say is careful.

Bottom line -- I am not hear to start arguments or hurt peoples feelings.

 

[okidoke]

I guess I’m definitely guilty of trying to be clear, but letting fly as well. Although I’ve improved dramatically in controlling my comments over the past few years. Which has coincidentally been about the same time I got my mind in better shape. Funny that.

 

[user 148069]

I write what I think as well, and I do agree that the global membership base here will almost guarantee that people will misunderstand.
Someone a few weeks ago called me "disgusting", which I can certainly understand, but the example given was in reference to a comment I made that was completely benign. So yeah... lot's of misinterpretations IMO.

EDIT:
The member who called me "disgusting" unfortunately seems to have loads of issues, so I really did not take it personally...

Yes I was the member who called out Unsigned. I am the person who also called okidoke with the cookie cutter comment. I have loads of issues and I am a bad person. I truly wish I can kill myself to free myself from so much emotional pain.

I have learned that some people here can say anything they like and get away with it. Some of us are not allowed to have opinions or defend ourself.

 

[user 148069]

As someone who makes their living as a writer, I definitely take care in what I write. I try to be concise in my thoughts and use language and words that express the meaning behind what I'm trying to convey. I usually give myself a fair amount of time to mull over exactly what it is I want to say and how to say it. That said, because I make my living as a writer, I also have a tendency to come here and spew out whatever happens to be on my mind at any given moment. . . What can I say? It's freeing to not have to give much thought to the written word after a long day of being inside your own head. I also consider A.L.L. a bit of a 'safe zone' where I can divulge things on my mind that I wouldn't elsewhere.

Edit: Reading what Unsigned wrote below brings to mind an exception to what I've expressed. I have been known to get into a few heated discussions around here or gotten really pissed off with certain people in the past - mostly because they were being ignorant *honeysuckles* or otherwise blatantly obnoxious and confrontational. In those cases, no - I haven't given much thought at all to what I'm writing and just let the fingers fly.

I was basically doin what Ringwood had done in the edit part of her comment.