The East End of a Horse Headed West

[TheSkaFish]

Some people need clear and effective communication. Maybe he got the hint this time around. If not, I'd just tell him the deal and eliminate your issue with him. Some aren't as assertive/aggressive as me.

I guess it remains to be seen.
He could have got the message this time, perhaps found someone else more his kind of person to hang out with.

Or, it could just be because of the cold weather.

The last several interactions I've had with him have all been short, I kept them that way on purpose -
under 10 minutes, max.
If there is a next time, it will be the same.
Hopefully by then I'll be so busy that it won't even be an issue.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

I guess it remains to be seen.
He could have got the message this time, perhaps found someone else more his kind of person to hang out with.

Or, it could just be because of the cold weather.

The last several interactions I've had with him have all been short, I kept them that way on purpose. Under 10 minutes, max.
If there is a next time, it will be the same.
Hopefully by then I'll be so busy that it won't even be an issue.

You make it an issue instead of just telling him the deal, point, blank, period. He'd be done with you after you were stern enough, but you don't have the heart to do that. Some people don't.

 

[TheSkaFish]

You make it an issue instead of just telling him the deal, point, blank, period. He'd be done with you after you were stern enough, but you don't have the heart to do that. Some people don't.

I guess I don't, then.
I try to maintain a level of, I guess you could say courtesy?
Unless someone really pisses me off - not just annoys me, but insults me or something like that.
Then all bets are off (as some here will attest).
But, if it's not that bad, I don't take it to that level.
Perhaps I'm nicer than I should be at times but it's what I was taught and for the most part it sits right with me.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

I guess I don't, then.
I try to maintain a level of, I guess you could say courtesy?
Unless someone really pisses me off - not just annoys me, but insults me or something like that.
Then all bets are off (as some here will attest).
But, if it's not that bad, I don't take it to that level.
Perhaps I'm nicer than I should be at times but it's what I was taught and for the most part it sits right with me.

Whatever works for you, but as you can see, not working out very well. But, I understand what you're saying.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Whatever works for you, but as you can see, not working out very well. But, I understand what you're saying.

Yes, I'm a softie at heart (unless someone enrages me) and I know this about myself.

I agree with you in that I should have set my boundaries before.
I was too nice earlier, and I unwittingly set a precedent that I would always be available.
I didn't mean to make that impression, or know I was doing it.
It's harder to undo that, than it is to not do it in the first place.

But it's also that I feel bad for the guy too, in a way. "Do unto others", and all that.
I'd want someone to be kind to me, if I was in a bad way.
I feel like it has worked somewhat as well - maybe the visits haven't totally stopped, but they are getting fewer and further between, since my original post. I guess I can live with that.