The rhyming couplet thread

[Doubt The Rabbit]

Without any money, I doubt that he'd sway
A random-ass woman to view him that way.

 

[Badjedidude]

Have job, obtain woman: it's a nice easy trick.
But a better and easier way is to have a large dick.

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

Bigger's not better - you'd know that by now.
In length, any more than 8 inches is...ow.

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^

You must be mistaken, if that is all true.
In porn, women love big peepees in their poo! :O

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

It's all poop jokes with you, isn't it?
Besides, all that matters is stroking her...vast intelligence.

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^

Stroke for stroke gets a boat across seas.
Or maybe a room full of cardiac freeze.

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

That makes no sense - is there something I missed?
I think we need Minty to weigh in on this.

 

[Badjedidude]

Don't bring that poor soul into this careless debacle.
Here, have a nice luscious cake with treacle.

 

[Bob Arctor]

I told you already, Rabbit, I'll have money by Friday,
Then I'll get coffee and a woman, doing it my way.

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

According to Stoob, money won't do the trick;
You need a warm cake and 13-inch dick.

 

[Badjedidude]

Yummy cakes and giant dicks can't do everything.
What a woman really wants is a sparkling diamond ring.

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

As a woman, I'm hurt - I'm not that simplistic!
You'll find I'm the least materialistic.

(and what the **** does a diamond ring do, anyway?...istic.)

 

[Badjedidude]

Yet I'm sure if given a choice between gold or magnificent loins-
Every time you're asked, you'll choose the coins.

 

[Bob Arctor]

Thirteen inches and diamonds: quite a tall order.
She'll just have to settle for me not being a hoarder.

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

You two are so clueless to what we girls want.
For me to explain it is a task that doth daunt.

 

[Badjedidude]

If nobody tells us what's wrong,
Finding out ourselves will take too long.

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

We want ATTENTION, that's what I'd say.
Tons of it--all of it!--every day!

 

[Bob Arctor]

Please don't take this to mean that I'm balking,
But can't too much attention be stalking?

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

Put that way, it sounds bad, I suppose,
But I like to call it "Admiring up close"!

 

[Badjedidude]

Stalking and lurking for one...
is alarmingly, "admiring" for Bun.