Pezza
Well-known member
Hoffy said:Ak5 said:
Hey you better share that
Guys save me some, and I don't just mean a handful at the bottom of the bucket
The trouble with Parties
- Thread starter TheMaul
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Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:
Guys save me some, and I don't just mean a handful at the bottom of the bucket
whispers
Well-known member
Society expects us to cope, when we have not been taught to do so. I dont know about you, but i have been raised by a deppressed controled mom, and an alcoholic dad who ignored me. Where am i supposed to learn stuff ? I chose a different life than my parents, if i would have chosen that life id be just fine coping with it, i know everything about it. But in the life i chose, there are things i need assistance with, self confidance, self respect and self love were the big ones. Most of us are trying to change things, change life, family dynamics and social status. Just a few decades ago, the priest would tell a woman when she could get pregnant, tell people to fear god if they sinned...and everythhing was a sin lol. We are trying to come out of that, we are in a process of evolution. I know for a fact that there are many people in therapy, some for a few meetings, some longer. Just dont feel so out of it, you will be ok, and there is nothing shamefull with getting help, its actualy an act of courage...and self love.
No sweetie, AK5 likes to eat popcorn when he thinks a thread is about to get good, so I told him I wanted some to and Pezza wanted some also. Would you like to answer my questions from my previous post? Btw, if you want popcorn, I'll share with ya.
Ak5
Well-known member
Hoffy said:
Yep, the world is not against you Maul.
AAAAAAOOOOH. Yay. I feel included. That makes me smile on the inside.
Seriously though, I want to believe the world isn't against me. But its hard to convince yourself of that when the more powerful negative experiences stick so hard to your memory. And everytime you get down, its like a rush of everything bad blasting back into you.
You want to know the most amazing thing. Matt my friend managed to find the person and get my hat back on my behalf, since he knew how ******* pissed I was. But I still didn't feel any better. It all worked out ok, but it didn't because I still got to such a point of emotional overload that it was either fines for damage to public property or chunks from my bond/personal harm. That to me demonstrates how paper-thin my happiness really is.
I feel like my face just sort of stews in a frown, because it hurts inside how sad and angry I am, and when you feel like that smiling is hard to do without decent provocation. I try to listen to certain songs and funny clips of youtube to try and turn my frown upside down. And it works for a short while, which feels great. But after that I sink, like my sadness is this sort of elastic goo I can jump away from for a short while but will always inevitably be drawn back into.
God, I feel like such a cliche. I really like who I am, I don't want to have to be ashamed of myself but when I hear dim folks pass a glancing judgement on me, and then ignore any counter-argument and belittle me further.
Sometimes, I feel a million years old.
Actually, I'm not much into Vampires or Gothic culture at all, (except maybe the occult, which when approached as a series of philosophical metaphors as opposed to the more literal and fundamental interpretations, can be quite cluey and intriguing.) That aside, the original Interview with a Vampire (novel) by Anne Rice was damn good, since it was about the reduction of all things into an abyss of indifference. Louie, as with the other elder vampire he befriended near the end of the story (whose name escapes me at the moment) both live so long they begin to just tire of the world and all that takes place within it. Since new trends and phases and cycles all start to blend into the one long stream of stupidity and absurd repetition.
I feel kinda like that.
Seriously though, I want to believe the world isn't against me. But its hard to convince yourself of that when the more powerful negative experiences stick so hard to your memory. And everytime you get down, its like a rush of everything bad blasting back into you.
You want to know the most amazing thing. Matt my friend managed to find the person and get my hat back on my behalf, since he knew how ******* pissed I was. But I still didn't feel any better. It all worked out ok, but it didn't because I still got to such a point of emotional overload that it was either fines for damage to public property or chunks from my bond/personal harm. That to me demonstrates how paper-thin my happiness really is.
I feel like my face just sort of stews in a frown, because it hurts inside how sad and angry I am, and when you feel like that smiling is hard to do without decent provocation. I try to listen to certain songs and funny clips of youtube to try and turn my frown upside down. And it works for a short while, which feels great. But after that I sink, like my sadness is this sort of elastic goo I can jump away from for a short while but will always inevitably be drawn back into.
God, I feel like such a cliche. I really like who I am, I don't want to have to be ashamed of myself but when I hear dim folks pass a glancing judgement on me, and then ignore any counter-argument and belittle me further.
Sometimes, I feel a million years old.
Actually, I'm not much into Vampires or Gothic culture at all, (except maybe the occult, which when approached as a series of philosophical metaphors as opposed to the more literal and fundamental interpretations, can be quite cluey and intriguing.) That aside, the original Interview with a Vampire (novel) by Anne Rice was damn good, since it was about the reduction of all things into an abyss of indifference. Louie, as with the other elder vampire he befriended near the end of the story (whose name escapes me at the moment) both live so long they begin to just tire of the world and all that takes place within it. Since new trends and phases and cycles all start to blend into the one long stream of stupidity and absurd repetition.
I feel kinda like that.
Ak5
Well-known member
Case in point.
You got your hat back, yet you still were angry and emotionally unstable. There is something deeper that you need solved. Only a professional psychologist can help you with that.
You got your hat back, yet you still were angry and emotionally unstable. There is something deeper that you need solved. Only a professional psychologist can help you with that.
Pezza
Well-known member
FreedomFromLiberty said:
Oh look, the OPs best friend took appropriate action and tracked down the person who stole the hat.
It looks like I'm not the only one who comes up with these crazy ideas after all...
Seems utterly absurd. This entire conversation. But the violation of having something you treasure stolen...****. That feeling is intense. I think "Hat" more or less could have been anything. They might have taken a prized pen, a prized light, anything of mine that I really valued and I would have had similar results. I just need a way to not get myself swept up into these situations and emotional clusterfucks.
LeaningIntoTheMuse
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I can understand the value of having something that's personal, stolen.
I once had an iPod stolen. And it wasn't necessarily because of the money issue that I was upset - I got it for cheap, and was able to go buy a better one.
It was the fact that, at the time, I had all of my songs loaded on it...so I felt raped a bit. It's like someone breaking into your house, and stealing your love letters. I had to go home and find all of my songs on my computer's backup, and I even lost one song for 4 years (2 years ago, I found it on a compilation cd I burned for a friend, and so was able to add it back onto the album I had it on originally.)
But...****. I had to go back and recreate all of my album tracklists, because some retard had to steal the original albums that. I. created.
I know a hat doesn't compare to that. But as a fellow musician, TheMaul, I'm sure you would understand having your music stolen.
I once had an iPod stolen. And it wasn't necessarily because of the money issue that I was upset - I got it for cheap, and was able to go buy a better one.
It was the fact that, at the time, I had all of my songs loaded on it...so I felt raped a bit. It's like someone breaking into your house, and stealing your love letters. I had to go home and find all of my songs on my computer's backup, and I even lost one song for 4 years (2 years ago, I found it on a compilation cd I burned for a friend, and so was able to add it back onto the album I had it on originally.)
But...****. I had to go back and recreate all of my album tracklists, because some retard had to steal the original albums that. I. created.
I know a hat doesn't compare to that. But as a fellow musician, TheMaul, I'm sure you would understand having your music stolen.
F
Frito Bandito
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If you cut yourself when someone steals a hat, just imagine what you'll do when someone steals your life savings, retirement, or the love of your life?
LeaningIntoTheMuse
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Frito Bandito said:If you cut yourself when someone steals a hat, just imagine what you'll do when someone steals your life savings, retirement, or the love of your life?
Exactly. It's a bad coping mechanism.
TheMaul, there is a cutting help group on here. I don't know if you're interested in joining it. I never cut, not even in the deepest depression...but I have had friends who have, and they've found solace in groups like that.
And therapy is only suggestible, because there are ways to do proactive things in place of self harm. I didn't pitch a fit, not even when I lost that one song that someone stole. I just accepted it, and moved on. Years later, I was thrilled when I found it again...but I didn't do anything negative because of it.
Well, I should probably try and find some like-minded folks in reality as well as online. Holy **** I've been wearing make-up for like two days straight. My eyelids are...poorly. *rub rub rub*
Slightly better.
Now, I have had much more horrible things happen to me, and the result was deep, deep depression. You see, the difference between horrifically massive things, like being kicked out of a whole legion of places for no discernible reason, (or for ****** reasons) and tiny annoying things, is that one of them sort of paralyzes you with utter lament. The other ones just irritate you to no end and when lots of tiny irritants pile up you get a bottled genie of angry internalized pain.
Slightly better.
Now, I have had much more horrible things happen to me, and the result was deep, deep depression. You see, the difference between horrifically massive things, like being kicked out of a whole legion of places for no discernible reason, (or for ****** reasons) and tiny annoying things, is that one of them sort of paralyzes you with utter lament. The other ones just irritate you to no end and when lots of tiny irritants pile up you get a bottled genie of angry internalized pain.
EveWasFramed
Well-known member
TheMaul said:
Damn. I totally understand that.
joejoeyjoseph
Well-known member
The problem with parties is that they're full of people.
Badjedidude
Well-known member
The problem comes when you try to fit into a party that's mainly geared toward people that you don't really fit in with.
Find your own friends and have your own parties.
Find your own friends and have your own parties.
Some of the responses here are ridiculous. Some of you must have no idea how you come across. You're coming across as complete twats.
Maul is trying to open up to you, obviously emotionally vulnerable, and you're responding with hostility and condescension for no good reason. Why? What is this? Does it make you feel good about yourselves?
Those who think they're helping just throw a "Get therapy" in the persons face. Blunt as possible, passing the hot potato. This mob mentality, where you all think you've got the facts straight. You're not going to burn Frankinstein. No, you're a humane, civilized little village. You're gonna recommend he go to a mental hospital instead. Just nudge him quietly out the gate, don't let the children see him! Not forgetting to faintly whisper a few sarcastic comments his way as he trudges into the cold, dark night.
Maul is trying to open up to you, obviously emotionally vulnerable, and you're responding with hostility and condescension for no good reason. Why? What is this? Does it make you feel good about yourselves?
Those who think they're helping just throw a "Get therapy" in the persons face. Blunt as possible, passing the hot potato. This mob mentality, where you all think you've got the facts straight. You're not going to burn Frankinstein. No, you're a humane, civilized little village. You're gonna recommend he go to a mental hospital instead. Just nudge him quietly out the gate, don't let the children see him! Not forgetting to faintly whisper a few sarcastic comments his way as he trudges into the cold, dark night.
LeaningIntoTheMuse
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Fitz said:
Dude, you have no clue.
Maul and I are friendly, and I certainly don't hate him, or think he's crazy. Like I said, it was nothing against him.
Look, I've been in therapy since I was 14. I am Bipolar. I also have been in the mental hospital, as I said in one thread that I made. I have friends, people like me, and I generally like myself (although would like some improvements.)
Therapy has been helpful for me, which is why I recommended it. I am sorry if that goes against your "anti therapy" mantra, but I wasn't just throwing it in there as an instant solution. Therapy takes sweat, blood, and tears. Plenty of tears. It isn't instant.
TheSolitaryMan
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Okay, I have to say I'm pretty disgusted with some of the replies on the first few pages.
This community has always been supportive of people who feel bad about themselves and their status in life. If that's changed, it's truly sad.
If you can't add anything at all positive, supportive or constructive to a thread beyond some insulting sarcastic comment, it's probably best that you just shut up and leave such unhelpful attitudes at the door on your way out.
Having said that, I think regardless of frustrations at the time, the rather aggressive approach the OP took to getting his message across was also inflammatory and completely unneccessary. Yelling "**** you" at people reading your opening post is not going to invite friendly responses.
Moving past that, I'd argue that self-harming is never a reasonable response to a problem, regardless of whether you feel it is an adequate release of feelings you build up.
It's certainly not a healthy response. Getting angry at people for telling you that fact is not going to help in the long run.
I'd say you need to take a long look at other ways you can express that annoyance - you don't need to hurt yourself or anyone else for that matter. Next time, instead of going to one of those ****** parties and getting upset about it, why not voice your opinion that they suck?
I bet you'll find a bunch of people who pop drugs there probably think it sucks too, they just don't have the same strength of will you have to resist the urge to act like sheep.
Plus, I don't understand why it upsets you that others behave foolishly. I'd say you need to just relax about how others perceive you and how your evening out has gone.
I'm sure someone at the party (or maybe even just someone who saw you going there) appreciated or at least noted the effort you'd made on your appearance. If other people are too busy looking at pink elephants to notice, that's their problem for being individuals with sad, empty lives
I always make an effort with my appearance at parties too. No one has ever commented on it or seemingly ever noticed, the difference is that I don't let that get to me, because I really don't care how other people react to me...unless it's positive of course.
So I'd say just take a step back from it all and take a look at your life. Really, it sounds like you're just bored by the limitations of others and it spilled over because some moron stole one of your possessions. That's not a huge or deep-ranging issue, so try not to treat it like one.
This community has always been supportive of people who feel bad about themselves and their status in life. If that's changed, it's truly sad.
If you can't add anything at all positive, supportive or constructive to a thread beyond some insulting sarcastic comment, it's probably best that you just shut up and leave such unhelpful attitudes at the door on your way out.
Having said that, I think regardless of frustrations at the time, the rather aggressive approach the OP took to getting his message across was also inflammatory and completely unneccessary. Yelling "**** you" at people reading your opening post is not going to invite friendly responses.
Moving past that, I'd argue that self-harming is never a reasonable response to a problem, regardless of whether you feel it is an adequate release of feelings you build up.
It's certainly not a healthy response. Getting angry at people for telling you that fact is not going to help in the long run.
I'd say you need to take a long look at other ways you can express that annoyance - you don't need to hurt yourself or anyone else for that matter. Next time, instead of going to one of those ****** parties and getting upset about it, why not voice your opinion that they suck?
I bet you'll find a bunch of people who pop drugs there probably think it sucks too, they just don't have the same strength of will you have to resist the urge to act like sheep.
Plus, I don't understand why it upsets you that others behave foolishly. I'd say you need to just relax about how others perceive you and how your evening out has gone.
I'm sure someone at the party (or maybe even just someone who saw you going there) appreciated or at least noted the effort you'd made on your appearance. If other people are too busy looking at pink elephants to notice, that's their problem for being individuals with sad, empty lives
I always make an effort with my appearance at parties too. No one has ever commented on it or seemingly ever noticed, the difference is that I don't let that get to me, because I really don't care how other people react to me...unless it's positive of course.
So I'd say just take a step back from it all and take a look at your life. Really, it sounds like you're just bored by the limitations of others and it spilled over because some moron stole one of your possessions. That's not a huge or deep-ranging issue, so try not to treat it like one.
