They could have said no...

[M_also_lonely]

One of my classmates had birthday yesterday. And we are in the same class batch. We are 16 in the batch. He announced a little party for the batchmates.. I didn't know whether I was invited or not. when I asked him where the party was, he said it was at a nearby cafe after the college would get over. So I went there, I took a simple gift card for him.....But nobody came. I thought I was late. I called him, but he didn't pick up the phone.And today when I asked why didn't anybody come, he said that he didn't want to invite me and he couldnt tell this straightaway. So he did this...I asked for the reason or if I had done anything wrong, he said, "Nothing. I just didnt want to invite you."..
Why do they always hurt me???
He could have said this to me before that he didn't want to invite me....

 

[Mouse]

How cruel he was.

Is there another group of students you could get in with? I realise this could take time, but you don't need people like him deliberately hurting you, or his batchmates.

 

[Danielle]

That was an awful thing of him to do. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this situation. This has nothing to do with you, this is all on him and his bad manners and behavior. I agree with Mouse, is there anyway you can be moved to another gorup of students?

 

[PenDragon]

Some people don't have the guts or backbone to act. He is one of them. Don't let sorry ***** ruin you. Find someone better who can understand you rather than that coward.

Either that or he is deliberately trying to hurt you which is even worse. Stay away from him If he has done it once there is chance he will do it again given the chance.

 

[M_also_lonely]

How cruel he was.

Is there another group of students you could get in with? I realise this could take time, but you don't need people like him deliberately hurting you, or his batchmates.

I have to work with them....This is the batch I have been allotted.

 

[Tiina63]

This is so sad. Treating you in such a horrible way says a lot about him as a person, and none of it complimentary. He could at least have told you beforehand so that you wouldn't have wasted your time going to the café and your money buying him a gift card.

 

[Triple Bogey]

It's a disgrace !
I would talk to them only when you have to.

 

[ringwood]

What an a$$hole. Sorry, but that is cruel and mean and heartless. I am so sorry you had that experience - some people are just jerks. Hugs.

 

[Despicable Me]

Stand up for yourself, M.
Go and YELL at him and tell him loud and clear that he could have just told you that he didn't want to invite you and that he didn't need to lie and be a jerk. Tell him you even brought him a gift and that now you'll give it to someone who actually deserves it. YELL! Get angry. Make a scene, do it in front of everyone else. Then just walk off. Don't let him say a word back. Just get your anger out and walk away. Smile and have some confidence as you walk away. Smile because you mean it and because they all needed to hear it.

M, it sounds like you've had a lot of trouble with these classmates of yours. It's time you stand up for yourself. They say you can't show any emotion? Show them some emotion, show them some anger. Get mad. You have the right to be mad. You have the right to make a scene. I know from your posts it sounds like you always want to do the right thing and that maybe you don't like to yell or get angry, but they need to hear it and I think maybe you need to do it. They need to learn a lesson, and you're the only one who can teach them.

Jerks like these do the things they do because they know they can get away with them. They know if they do these things the people they hurt will be too embarrassed/ashamed to say or do anything about it. Prove them wrong.

If you ignore the problem they'll just keep doing it. It's time to teach them a lesson, and maybe learn one for yourself. Learn how to stand up for yourself and be proud about it.

 

[M_also_lonely]

Stand up for yourself, M.
Go and YELL at him and tell him loud and clear that he could have just told you that he didn't want to invite you and that he didn't need to lie and be a jerk. Tell him you even brought him a gift and that now you'll give it to someone who actually deserves it. YELL! Get angry. Make a scene, do it in front of everyone else. Then just walk off. Don't let him say a word back. Just get your anger out and walk away. Smile and have some confidence as you walk away. Smile because you mean it and because they all needed to hear it.

M, it sounds like you've had a lot of trouble with these classmates of yours. It's time you stand up for yourself. They say you can't show any emotion? Show them some emotion, show them some anger. Get mad. You have the right to be mad. You have the right to make a scene. I know from your posts it sounds like you always want to do the right thing and that maybe you don't like to yell or get angry, but they need to hear it and I think maybe you need to do it. They need to learn a lesson, and you're the only one who can teach them.

Jerks like these do the things they do because they know they can get away with them. They know if they do these things the people they hurt will be too embarrassed/ashamed to say or do anything about it. Prove them wrong.

If you ignore the problem they'll just keep doing it. It's time to teach them a lesson, and maybe learn one for yourself. Learn how to stand up for yourself and be proud about it.

But wont they feel bad if I do that???

 

[Despicable Me]

But wont they feel bad if I do that???

That's the point, M.
If they don't feel bad about what they have done they will just keep doing it. They will keep doing it not just to you but also to other people, too.

They have done a very bad thing to you and they should feel bad about it, not you. They need to feel bad so they won't do it anymore, and you need to make them feel bad so that you will learn to stand up for yourself so that people won't keep doing bad things to you. You deserve better and they need to know that.

 

[M_also_lonely]

But wont they feel bad if I do that???

That's the point, M.
If they don't feel bad about what they have done they will just keep doing it. They will keep doing it not just to you but also to other people, too.

They have done a very bad thing to you and they should feel bad about it, not you. They need to feel bad so they won't do it anymore, and you need to make them feel bad so that you will learn to stand up for yourself so that people won't keep doing bad things to you. You deserve better and they need to know that.

You know, I want to throw a huge party, just for them, a party that costs me 1000 millions of dollars, the biggest party in the world and invite each of them. And when they come, I would say, "Sorry, due to excessive people here, your invitation has been cancelled." And the only person attending my party would be me......
The whole world should know that they missed this party.......

I want to do that......

 

[TheRealCallie]

But wont they feel bad if I do that???

That's the point, M.
If they don't feel bad about what they have done they will just keep doing it. They will keep doing it not just to you but also to other people, too.

They have done a very bad thing to you and they should feel bad about it, not you. They need to feel bad so they won't do it anymore, and you need to make them feel bad so that you will learn to stand up for yourself so that people won't keep doing bad things to you. You deserve better and they need to know that.

I have to say I disagree with this advice. Yes, he should tell them how he feels, but yelling and causing a scene will do nothing. Stooping to their level is pointless and makes you just as immature as they are, IMO.
Also, these aren't classmates, they are co-workers. If you were to do that, you could very well get in trouble or even fired.

I would just keep your distance from the guy and go about what you need to do. Are you sure the other people were involved though?

 

[Cavey]

But wont they feel bad if I do that???

That's the point, M.
If they don't feel bad about what they have done they will just keep doing it. They will keep doing it not just to you but also to other people, too.

They have done a very bad thing to you and they should feel bad about it, not you. They need to feel bad so they won't do it anymore, and you need to make them feel bad so that you will learn to stand up for yourself so that people won't keep doing bad things to you. You deserve better and they need to know that.

I have to say I disagree with this advice. Yes, he should tell them how he feels, but yelling and causing a scene will do nothing. Stooping to their level is pointless and makes you just as immature as they are, IMO.
Also, these aren't classmates, they are co-workers. If you were to do that, you could very well get in trouble or even fired.

I would just keep your distance from the guy and go about what you need to do. Are you sure the other people were involved though?

I agree with this. Yesterday, I was tempted to type a similar reply to this, but I didn't get the chance.

 

[Triple Bogey]

But wont they feel bad if I do that???

That's the point, M.
If they don't feel bad about what they have done they will just keep doing it. They will keep doing it not just to you but also to other people, too.

They have done a very bad thing to you and they should feel bad about it, not you. They need to feel bad so they won't do it anymore, and you need to make them feel bad so that you will learn to stand up for yourself so that people won't keep doing bad things to you. You deserve better and they need to know that.

I have to say I disagree with this advice. Yes, he should tell them how he feels, but yelling and causing a scene will do nothing. Stooping to their level is pointless and makes you just as immature as they are, IMO.
Also, these aren't classmates, they are co-workers. If you were to do that, you could very well get in trouble or even fired.

I would just keep your distance from the guy and go about what you need to do. Are you sure the other people were involved though?

I disagree. He should have told the guy to **** off. In private of course away from everybody. Nobody deserves to get treated like that !

 

[TheRealCallie]

But wont they feel bad if I do that???

That's the point, M.
If they don't feel bad about what they have done they will just keep doing it. They will keep doing it not just to you but also to other people, too.

They have done a very bad thing to you and they should feel bad about it, not you. They need to feel bad so they won't do it anymore, and you need to make them feel bad so that you will learn to stand up for yourself so that people won't keep doing bad things to you. You deserve better and they need to know that.

I have to say I disagree with this advice. Yes, he should tell them how he feels, but yelling and causing a scene will do nothing. Stooping to their level is pointless and makes you just as immature as they are, IMO.
Also, these aren't classmates, they are co-workers. If you were to do that, you could very well get in trouble or even fired.

I would just keep your distance from the guy and go about what you need to do. Are you sure the other people were involved though?

I disagree. He should have told the guy to **** off. In private of course away from everybody. Nobody deserves to get treated like that !

In private is one thing, but causing a scene and yelling at everyone is not the way to go, especially at work. That's what I'm getting at.
But honestly, whether you say **** off or do it nicely, it likely won't change anything. Tell him how you feel, if you feel the need to, but then let it go and walk with your head held high.

 

[Triple Bogey]

But wont they feel bad if I do that???

That's the point, M.
If they don't feel bad about what they have done they will just keep doing it. They will keep doing it not just to you but also to other people, too.

They have done a very bad thing to you and they should feel bad about it, not you. They need to feel bad so they won't do it anymore, and you need to make them feel bad so that you will learn to stand up for yourself so that people won't keep doing bad things to you. You deserve better and they need to know that.

I have to say I disagree with this advice. Yes, he should tell them how he feels, but yelling and causing a scene will do nothing. Stooping to their level is pointless and makes you just as immature as they are, IMO.
Also, these aren't classmates, they are co-workers. If you were to do that, you could very well get in trouble or even fired.

I would just keep your distance from the guy and go about what you need to do. Are you sure the other people were involved though?

I disagree. He should have told the guy to **** off. In private of course away from everybody. Nobody deserves to get treated like that !

In private is one thing, but causing a scene and yelling at everyone is not the way to go, especially at work. That's what I'm getting at.
But honestly, whether you say **** off or do it nicely, it likely won't change anything. Tell him how you feel, if you feel the need to, but then let it go and walk with your head held high.

It might make the guy feel better about himself. And also the others who treated him like **** may think twice in the future.

You can't just shrug it off and accept it.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

I'm sorry that this happened to you. He could have been up front with you from the start instead of having you go through all the trouble. But I can relate, I was invited to a Halloween party and she told me she was going to pick me up and when the time came around she never came to get me. If I were you, I would stay away from him.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Things like this happened to me as well.
This school disco I was going to years ago. I kept asking my so called friends where they were meeting before hand and they never told me, just made lame jokes saying it was a secret.

 

[Despicable Me]

I have to say I disagree with this advice. Yes, he should tell them how he feels, but yelling and causing a scene will do nothing. Stooping to their level is pointless and makes you just as immature as they are, IMO.
Also, these aren't classmates, they are co-workers. If you were to do that, you could very well get in trouble or even fired.

I would just keep your distance from the guy and go about what you need to do. Are you sure the other people were involved though?

That is bad advice.
You're saying that bad people should get away with bad things, always, and that no one should stand up for themselves. Why? What is the point in this?
You're also suggesting that it is "immature" to stand up for yourself, and that punishing someone for doing wrong, for many reasons, is just as immature as doing wrong itself due only to self-interests. How is that in any way "immature"? "IMO" it is quite the opposite. I think reality suggests the same thing.

And what if the whole world mistreats you? Does that mean you should try to avoid everyone completely? What is the goal to this concept?

And what gave you the idea they were M's co-workers? He stated rather clearly they are his classmates.