They could have said no...

[TheRealCallie]

It IS immature to cause a scene and throw a hissy fit over it. That and it would give the guy exactly what he wants, the chance to see that he got to you. I never said he should't say something, I just said being a drama queen (or king if you rather) about it is immature.

The world will treat you one of two ways. The way you treat the world or the way you allow yourself to be treated. If you continue to allow people to walk all over you, that is on you. You choose how you let people affect you. Let these people see that they don't bother you and they will eventually stop trying.

As for the coworkers part I read the OP on one day and then continued on another and he said he has to work with them. Sorry, I was confusing the post with another, but my opinions don't change.

 

[Triple Bogey]

It IS immature to cause a scene and throw a hissy fit over it. That and it would give the guy exactly what he wants, the chance to see that he got to you. I never said he should't say something, I just said being a drama queen (or king if you rather) about it is immature.

The world will treat you one of two ways. The way you treat the world or the way you allow yourself to be treated. If you continue to allow people to walk all over you, that is on you. You choose how you let people affect you. Let these people see that they don't bother you and they will eventually stop trying.

As for the coworkers part I read the OP on one day and then continued on another and he said he has to work with them. Sorry, I was confusing the post with another, but my opinions don't change.

I agree with the post before. You can't let people walk all over you.
You have to stand up for yourself. If that involves some nastiness or shouting then so be it.

 

[Cavey]

All throwing a hissy fit is going to achieve is more negativity. The best you can hope for is that you make someone else feel as unhappy as you are feeling. Well done. You're no further forward than you were before and anyone who witnessed it is liable to have a very low opinion of you.

If the person has already treated you poorly, then they're unlikely to care about your meltdown; in fact, it may well give them pleasure. I imagine you'd rather avoid this.

In the worst case scenario, the situation could rapidly escalate out of your control. Men being men, it will more than likely lead to a physical altercation and then ANYTHING could happen.

It's much better to just get on with your own life and have nothing to do with them in the future. Their loss.

 

[VanillaCreme]

He could have simply said he wasn't inviting anymore people. But he didn't. I couldn't even begin to explain why he did that. Sadly, I've heard of people doing this more often than necessary. But usually, it's made abundantly clear if one's invited to a party. If it's not a party where anyone can go, just assume you're not invited. Not that there's anything wrong with you, but even if you know where the party is at and what time, doesn't mean you should insert yourself. Dude's stupid though. He missed out on a gift card. Over an ******* move, too. His loss.

I just read Cavey's response above. I agree with it.

 

[Despicable Me]

All throwing a hissy fit is going to achieve is more negativity. The best you can hope for is that you make someone else feel as unhappy as you are feeling. Well done. You're no further forward than you were before and anyone who witnessed it is liable to have a very low opinion of you.

If the person has already treated you poorly, then they're unlikely to care about your meltdown; in fact, it may well give them pleasure. I imagine you'd rather avoid this.

In the worst case scenario, the situation could rapidly escalate out of your control. Men being men, it will more than likely lead to a physical altercation and then ANYTHING could happen.

It's much better to just get on with your own life and have nothing to do with them in the future. Their loss.

There's a thing called 'criticism' and then there is a thing called a 'straw man'. Which one do you think this is?
No one here has stated he should throw a "hissy fit" or have a "meltdown". That was purely your own invention. So what are you even referring to here? It was obviously my post you were referring to, yet you failed to maintain or use any of the actual content of my post. That makes your post a straw man.

Let's not use poorly worded semantics to over-justify opinions, please. Opinions are just opinions, you don't need a bunch of condescending words to state your opinion. You might go about your life differently than others, but that in no way makes you right.

 

[TheRealCallie]

No one here has stated he should throw a "hissy fit" or have a "meltdown". That was purely your own invention. So what are you even referring to here?

Go and YELL at him and tell him loud and clear that he could have just told you that he didn't want to invite you and that he didn't need to lie and be a jerk. Tell him you even brought him a gift and that now you'll give it to someone who actually deserves it. YELL! Get angry. Make a scene, do it in front of everyone else.

^^ Otherwise known as a hissy fit and/or meltdown.

 

[Regumika]

I have to say I disagree with this advice. Yes, he should tell them how he feels, but yelling and causing a scene will do nothing. Stooping to their level is pointless and makes you just as immature as they are, IMO.
Also, these aren't classmates, they are co-workers. If you were to do that, you could very well get in trouble or even fired.

I would just keep your distance from the guy and go about what you need to do. Are you sure the other people were involved though?

That is bad advice.

Let's not use poorly worded semantics to over-justify opinions, please. Opinions are just opinions, you don't need a bunch of condescending words to state your opinion. You might go about your life differently than others, but that in no way makes you right.

Stop being a hypocrite. You brought this on yourself. I have nothing else to say.

EDIT: Good job, Callie /highfive

 

[Despicable Me]

^^ Otherwise known as a hissy fit and/or meltdown.

It's not the same thing.

Yelling at someone to teach them a lesson is completely different than having an emotional breakdown (meltdown) or 'throwing a hissy fit' (an anger tantrum intended only to get attention).

If you don't realize this difference then it's no wonder you openly suggest allowing others to just walk all over you.

Stop being a hypocrite. You brought this on yourself. I have nothing else to say.

Learn to speak for yourself, not for others. I have nothing else to say to you, since your statements are invalidated by the fact you present no evidence to support them.

All I'm trying to do is give this guy some good advice, and you people are twisting my words around. And you say I'm the hypocrite? Ridiculous. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

 

[Regumika]

Learn to speak for yourself, not for others. I have nothing else to say to you, since your statements are invalidated by the fact you present no evidence to support them.

All I'm trying to do is give this guy some good advice, and you people are twisting my words around. And you say I'm the hypocrite? Ridiculous. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Which part of "Opinions are just opinions, you don't need a bunch of condescending words to state your opinion." and "This is bad advice." coming from the same person is not proof?

I am amazingly shocked.

 

[TheRealCallie]

^^ Otherwise known as a hissy fit and/or meltdown.

It's not the same thing.

Yelling at someone to teach them a lesson is completely different than having an emotional breakdown (meltdown) or 'throwing a hissy fit' (an anger tantrum intended only to get attention).

If you don't realize this difference then it's no wonder you openly suggest allowing others to just walk all over you.

Let me break what you said down a little more for you, since you apparently don't know what you said....

YELL! Get angry. Make a scene, do it in front of everyone else.

^^Otherwise known as a HISSY FIT. Not out to get attention, then why make a scene and do it in front of everyone?

 

[Despicable Me]

Please stop continuing this charade, Regumika. I'm merely just trying to point out the fact.
Yet again you're continuing with the twisting of words. I was not trying to be condescending earlier when I stated the advice given was bad advice, that was a statement of fact (but you could have just took it as a statement of opinion, if you want). Furthermore, I was clearly referencing points which clearly really were bad advice. It was constructive criticism.

Again, if some of you cannot understand the difference between criticism and straw man then why even post? Please stop.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Please stop continuing this charade, Regumika. I'm merely just trying to point out the fact.
Yet again you're continuing with the twisting of words. I was not trying to be condescending earlier when I stated the advice given was bad advice, that was a statement of fact (but you could have just took it as a statement of opinion, if you want). Furthermore, I was clearly referencing points which clearly really were bad advice. It was constructive criticism.

Again, if some of you cannot understand the difference between criticism and straw man then why even post? Please stop.

Facts can be proven. You can not prove that my advice is bad advice just because YOU don't agree with it.

 

[Regumika]

So it turns out that you thought Callie's advice was posing a fact, and not an opinion. That's why you're trying so hard to defend your position.

 

[Despicable Me]

^^ Otherwise known as a hissy fit and/or meltdown.

It's not the same thing.

Yelling at someone to teach them a lesson is completely different than having an emotional breakdown (meltdown) or 'throwing a hissy fit' (an anger tantrum intended only to get attention).

If you don't realize this difference then it's no wonder you openly suggest allowing others to just walk all over you.

Let me break what you said down a little more for you, since you apparently don't know what you said....

YELL! Get angry. Make a scene, do it in front of everyone else.

^^Otherwise known as a HISSY FIT. Not out to get attention, then why make a scene and do it in front of everyone?

I meant 'everyone' as in the other people who do this kind of thing to M. The other people he has problems with. The fact other people who may have never bothered him might be there is irrelevant. That's not the point.
If you'd had read M's stories it sounds like he generally has a problem with a lot of classmates, not just this one.

An open demonstration of defiance allows him to not just get this off his chest but allows him to demonstrate he's a real person with real feelings and that he isn't someone that people should just walk all over. Everyone should know this, not just the one guy.

You're turning this into something it's not. You, with some others, are also just seemingly doing it for the attention of it. Please stop. It's truly hypocritical.

---

So it turns out that you thought Callie's advice was posing a fact, and not an opinion. That's why you're trying so hard to defend your position.

WTF are you even talking about anymore?
Why am I being bullied on a freaking loneliness forum? And of all places in a topic about bullies!

This is not the place for it. Find somewhere else to have your hissy fits, kids.

 

[TheRealCallie]

So it turns out that you thought Callie's advice was posing a fact, and not an opinion. That's why you're trying so hard to defend your position.

Well, I suppose one could argue that what I say is, indeed, fact, since I'm always right. lol

 

[VanillaCreme]

One: Stop the bickering, folks.

Two:

Yelling at someone to teach them a lesson is completely different than having an emotional breakdown (meltdown) or 'throwing a hissy fit' (an anger tantrum intended only to get attention).

If you don't realize this difference then it's no wonder you openly suggest allowing others to just walk all over you.

How do you consider yelling at grown folk teaching them a lesson? I'm an adult, and the last time someone yelled at me, I literally turned my head. Not hearing it. If something bothers me, I say it. I don't reduce myself to a shouting match. Usually, yelling at anyone other than kids probably won't work in anyone's favor. I don't even yell at kids. If your only solution is to yell at someone, I imagine people ignore you quite a bit.

There is a difference between getting your thoughts and feelings across sternly and clearly, and acting like a jungle monkey. Screaming and shouting isn't standing up for yourself or anyone. It's screaming and shouting.

 

[TheRealCallie]

WTF are you even talking about anymore?
Why am I being bullied on a freaking loneliness forum? And of all places in a topic about bullies!

This is not the place for it. Find somewhere else to have your hissy fits, kids.

Yeah, my 7 year old used to think people saying things he didn't want to hear, didn't like or argued with him was bullying too.
No one is insulting you or being mean to you, I think you might have that backwards.

And that's the last I'm saying on the matter. I stand by my advice to the OP, throwing a hissy fit will get you nowhere. The dude won't care, he actually most likely wants exactly that. Be the bigger person and don't let it get to you, hold your head high and just engage him when you have to, don't try to be his friend.

 

[Regumika]

WTF are you even talking about anymore?
Why am I being bullied on a freaking loneliness forum? And of all places in a topic about bullies!

This is not the place for it. Find somewhere else to have your hissy fits, kids.

Bullied? No no, you're misunderstanding. If I claimed that murder is good. You would all "gain up" on me telling me how I'm wrong, is that bullying?

This is my argument - You said "opinions are opinions" implying that we can all have an opinion. Yet, you claimed that Callie's advice (opinion) is bad. But I thought you just claimed that we can have opinions? Why isn't Callie allowed to have one? Why did you shoot her down?

However, now that I know you and I have different definitions for Advice, we'll never reach a conclusion. So, in this case we agree to disagree on the definition of Advice.

 

[Despicable Me]

All you're doing is bullying, whether you realize it or not. It's pathetic. You're just being hypocrites.
Vanilla, what is the point in telling people to stop bickering and then just doing it yourself? And then of course you just let them keep doing it. You're a mod for crying out loud. Talk about hypocrisy.

And I'm sorry M, if you're reading this nonsense argument. Some people seem to enjoy rejecting others rather than being open minded or accepting. It happens to many of us. You're not alone.

 

[Regumika]

EDIT: My bad.