This girl...

[BeyondShy]

And at the end of the day, most girls want a guy who will make a move for what he wants.

Isn't that the truth? But actually going out and making the move is the hard part. I can vouch for that. I am completely convinced that none one wants me.

Aw how cute. I agree with Serenia.

What's wrong with that? I find myself agreeing with her a lot.

I don't know why some guys have it in their mind that women need to be treated differently. We're not some poorly put together fragile doll. Being bold doesn't mean being pushy. If you feel like the time is right, whenever that is, let her know how you feel.

Speaking only for myself I know this is true. I don't feel I need to treat women differently. Treat them with respect? Sure. But talk to them differently? Well you have to do that. You want an example? Ok. The NFL season is starting up soon and you are in a sports bar watching your favorite team. The server comes to take your order and if she is good looking you know someone is going to make a comment about her. Now if you are in the same place with a woman and you are going to watch the game together and that same server takes your order you are not even going to consider saying anything about her because you don't want to hurt the girl's feelings. When guys say stuff like that amongst themselves it is pure 100% bravado and it means nothing.

Ask today. No sense drawing it out. If she says no then that's ok. Don't be weird about it and it won't be weird.

Without a doubt the best advice to take but like that scene near the end of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade this is a leap of faith.

Nobody decides the outcome. What happens, happens, only by the participation of those involved.

That's right. You can only hope that you put yourself in a position FOR an outcome. And that is something I don't do. I am on the side wondering how things could be for me too many times.

 

[Xpendable]

Even if you do have to see her for two years afterwards, it's hardly the end of the world.

I would prefer the end of the world, actually.

 

[ardour]

Even if you do have to see her for two years afterwards, it's hardly the end of the world.

I would prefer the end of the world, actually.

Why, is she symbolic of something? Like for example, your self esteem? A late effort to find someone? Best not to think that way.

If the prospect of a bit awkwardness is such a problem, then your better off facing it.

 

[Paraiyar]

Even if you do have to see her for two years afterwards, it's hardly the end of the world.

I would prefer the end of the world, actually.

I'm just going to say that I think you're shooting yourself in the foot looking at things like this.

 

[Paraiyar]

Even if you do have to see her for two years afterwards, it's hardly the end of the world.

I would prefer the end of the world, actually.

Why, is she symbolic of something? Like for example, your self esteem? A late effort to find someone? Best not to think that way.

If the prospect of a bit awkwardness is such a problem, then your better off facing it.

I agree with this. It sounds like you've pedestalized her too much which is always a mistake when nothing has happened yet.

 

[Xpendable]

Think about it as an oasis. If I fail I may not find another one. Maybe you people can get over a person and jump to another one but I can't do it like that. I've said many trimes here how is so hard for me to feel interested in someone. It would take me years to find someone similar.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Aw how cute. I agree with Serenia.

What's wrong with that? I find myself agreeing with her a lot.

He didn't say there was anything wrong with it.

I don't know why some guys have it in their mind that women need to be treated differently. We're not some poorly put together fragile doll. Being bold doesn't mean being pushy. If you feel like the time is right, whenever that is, let her know how you feel.

Speaking only for myself I know this is true. I don't feel I need to treat women differently. Treat them with respect? Sure. But talk to them differently? Well you have to do that. You want an example? Ok. The NFL season is starting up soon and you are in a sports bar watching your favorite team. The server comes to take your order and if she is good looking you know someone is going to make a comment about her. Now if you are in the same place with a woman and you are going to watch the game together and that same server takes your order you are not even going to consider saying anything about her because you don't want to hurt the girl's feelings. When guys say stuff like that amongst themselves it is pure 100% bravado and it means nothing.

Say what? That a female is pretty? If I think it, I'll say it, I don't care who is around. If I were at a sports bar with a guy, watching the game or whatever, and our hostess was pretty, I'd tell her. I told a cashier that I thought she was beautiful about a month or two ago. Because she was to me.

 

[kamya]

So creepy nilla omg. :O

 

[Xpendable]

Say what? That a female is pretty? If I think it, I'll say it, I don't care who is around. If I were at a sports bar with a guy, watching the game or whatever, and our hostess was pretty, I'd tell her. I told a cashier that I thought she was beautiful about a month or two ago. Because she was to me.

What if it's a male cashier?

 

[VanillaCreme]

Say what? That a female is pretty? If I think it, I'll say it, I don't care who is around. If I were at a sports bar with a guy, watching the game or whatever, and our hostess was pretty, I'd tell her. I told a cashier that I thought she was beautiful about a month or two ago. Because she was to me.

What if it's a male cashier?

I'd tell him the same thing if I found him handsome. It doesn't make any difference to me.

 

[Xpendable]

Say what? That a female is pretty? If I think it, I'll say it, I don't care who is around. If I were at a sports bar with a guy, watching the game or whatever, and our hostess was pretty, I'd tell her. I told a cashier that I thought she was beautiful about a month or two ago. Because she was to me.

What if it's a male cashier?

I'd tell him the same thing if I found him handsome. It doesn't make any difference to me.

It seems pretty obvious that BS and I are talking about the male perspective. Besides I'm talking about a girl I'm interested on, so there's going to be a difference by default. If you like a guy do you treat him like any other guy?; do you treat him like you treat other girls? I bet not.

 

[BeyondShy]

I'd tell him the same thing if I found him handsome. It doesn't make any difference to me.

Must be nice to have the confidence to do stuff like this. Good for you VanillaCreme.

 

[Guy_In_The_Corner_]

Look to be honest if this is your first time where you feel you are able to make an impression on someone who interests you, then it's always going to be hard. But even if it doesn't work out, treat it as a learning experience. Every time you attempt to, or do enter into something with someone is a learning experience. There's stuff you won't learn by asking people on the internet.

And in terms of if you're worried about saying something bad, really don't worry about that. Unless it's particularly unusual it's very difficult to put someone off entirely. If you stuff up once or twice that's okay, again it's all about learning. The important thing is not to make it into a big deal. If you say something weird, just move on, don't freak out.

Also you mentioned that you're not as close to her as some are. That's good, the closer you are the more likely she is to think you aren't interested in her in any other way than as a friend. This isn't to say that it's completely off the books if you guys are good friends, but it becomes very difficult after a certain point of friendship to discern if your friend is interested in you in any other way than platonic. It's important to find the balance between being too forward and being too reluctant, but that's one of those things that you'll gain with experience.

And if it doesn't work out you can reflect and learn, and you'll be better prepared for the next time. It often does feel like someone will be the only chance, but this isn't the case unless you get hung up on it. If you keep a positive mindset, there will always be others, and they'll only become more frequent from this point onward.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

So drink from your oasis or don't. Neither of those choices are wrong, unless you choose to regret them.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Say what? That a female is pretty? If I think it, I'll say it, I don't care who is around. If I were at a sports bar with a guy, watching the game or whatever, and our hostess was pretty, I'd tell her. I told a cashier that I thought she was beautiful about a month or two ago. Because she was to me.

What if it's a male cashier?

I'd tell him the same thing if I found him handsome. It doesn't make any difference to me.

It seems pretty obvious that BS and I are talking about the male perspective. Besides I'm talking about a girl I'm interested on, so there's going to be a difference by default. If you like a guy do you treat him like any other guy?; do you treat him like you treat other girls? I bet not.

There's no difference to me. I treat everyone the same.

 

[Xpendable]

So drink from your oasis or don't. Neither of those choices are wrong, unless you choose to regret them.

Of course you know that not drinking will cause my death on the desert.

 

[Xpendable]

There's no difference to me. I treat everyone the same.

Yeah, ok, we won't pass this stubbornness. Believe whatever you want.

 

[BadGuy]

the longer you obsess the more your going to worry
If you ask her out and she says no ...so be it and may not have anything to do with you
If she says yes time will tell

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

So drink from your oasis or don't. Neither of those choices are wrong, unless you choose to regret them.

Of course you know that not drinking will cause my death on the desert.

Then your oasis will be there for someone else.

 

[kamya]

Itll probably always be available for someone else either way honestly.