To all Ladys..?

[DFURY7]

This is a question to all the females out there. And guys feel free to give some advice if you can relate.

Anyways my main question is why when I try to to message or talk to a girl on social sites I tend to get flat out ignored. These would include dating sites that I tried such as match and eharmony which I was never a fan of but was getting nowhere finding local women so I gave it a try.Also on facebook when Im trying to get to know a girl better that appeals to my liking.

I always keep my messages very polite,respectful and honest. Im not some player/scumbag thats just trying to holler and get some action.The females that I do socialize with and or are my friends tend to tell me that Im very handsome and have a good personality. But when it comes to trying to talk to new females it just seems to go nowhere and only annoys me. Even if the girl is not interested a simple reply would be much more respectful,I for one would show that kind of respect.

I really cant think of anything that is particularly offsetting or unappealing about me that would keep girls from replying/socializing.I tend to just be myself and even though Im not very outgoing I can keep a convo going well when initiated. Heres a pic just to give an idea of who I actually am.

http://i40.tinypic.com/9uxjia.jpg

 

[MadMonkè]

U are thinking too much about this bro...

I personally never tried these sites and facebook... I know they work for the right people at the right time..
just dont think too much into it.

its easy to hit up a girl online. cuz it doesnt require much presence to let her know what you think. at the same time, it could also mean that these girls are getting a whole bunch of interest from guys online and they dont know who to be interested in...
or worth responding to... who knows what they think...

but who cares... they are just girls... would you be so offended if you msged a guy just to be friends and he didnt respond? no homo but thats the same deal right?

love you bro. hang in there...

 

[chill]

MadMonke is on the right path with this. Your problem is that you are taking things too seriously. Women have great social intuition. You have a lot going for you, your a great looking guy that obviously takes care of yourself. The problem is most likely that women can sense a bit of neediness. With dating sites all you get is one impression. You said your messages are polite respectful and honest. Keep them that way but add playful. With most women looks won't ne what gets you a response and neither will just being nice. You have.to engage their imagination. Offer entertainment in you messages to them. Make sure that you come off weaning that it doesn't matter if they respond because you are sure enough of yourself that nothing seems like a very big deal. If you can do this in your messages it will attract girls.

 

[DFURY7]

Thanks for the response and advice bro. Im pretty much over it now,Iv learned that online dating really isnt the way to go (at least not for me). It doesnt let you really get to know the person and form a real opinion of them. Another thing thats probably true is the girls on those sites that look good get so much attention that they probably dont respond to every single message. In real life the simple fact that you had enough courage to walk up and talk to the girl will get you much more respect than sending a message over the Internet,that takes no boldness whatsoever and its easy for people to ignore.

Anyways it is what it is. For some people online socializing really works,for me it just doesnt and Ill simply have to have enough courage to approach girls in real life. My results from that have been much better,and I cant think of many times that a girl flat out turned me down by doing that.

 

[whispers]

I was on dating sites for a year, responded to every message i got. But its the same for women, i have sent messages and been ignored. Called a stupid ***** when i refused to say what colour my underwear were. Been told, '' what the fresia do you expect a prince charming and a wedding ?''
Anyway, some people use it as a whore house imo. I was just lucky enough to find someone who wanted the same as me, and was serious about finding someone compatible. But it did take a year and many dissapointments...

 

[passage]

I think online is an even bigger numbers game than in real life.

 

[nerdygirl]

Unfortunately, men contacting women aren't only dealing with competition from other eligible males. Women are often harassed on these sites. I don't only mean the sexual harassment (of which there is plenty), but some guys respond horribly to rejection notes. I've stopped sending them out, because over half of the time, after I say thanks and wish them luck... guys send me very hostile letters.

 

[DFURY7]

Well some people really cant handle rejection and thats a problem they have to work on.....those are usually the psychos who end up on a lifetime movie for beating their wife or whatever. I can definitely handle rejection just fine, and I would respect the girl alot more for at least taking the time to tell me shes not interested. But like I said I just dont believe online dating is the way to go. It allows women to be internet snobs and ignore whoever they please,and it also gives crazy guys a chance to abuse women. At least in real life if you go up and try to talk to a girl she cant pretend like your an invisible ghost...she has to at least acknowledge you.

 

[Astral_Punisher]

@ DFURY7

I wouldn't sweat it too much.

You only need to find the one woman that wants you - if these women ignore you, then it's their loss, and your gain.
You will get to meet new and beautiful, interesting women, and these women that ignore you will never get to meet you, or experience the great personality you have to share (yes that sounds schlocky, but it's true).

 

[Frito Bandito]

The Internet is a race to the bottom.

Don't seek love here.

If it coincidentally happens, that is another thing entirely.

 

[SophiaGrace]

*sings* Lookin' for love in all the wrong places

 

[MadMonkè]

I was on dating sites for a year, responded to every message i got. But its the same for women, i have sent messages and been ignored. Called a stupid ***** when i refused to say what colour my underwear were. Been told, '' what the fresia do you expect a prince charming and a wedding ?''
Anyway, some people use it as a whore house imo. I was just lucky enough to find someone who wanted the same as me, and was serious about finding someone compatible. But it did take a year and many dissapointments...

Wow... people can be so ridiculous sometimes..
and you helped me prove my point whispers.

The op is lumped into the same category as some as these other vulger guys and its easy to get ignored for a number of reasons.

And Im glad you had enough fun to stick with it long enough to eventually meet someone worthwhile.

Dont give up what you're doing OP. as long as you are having fun with it... then its a positive contribution to your life already.
But as someone already mentioned... its really a numbers game...

kinda reminds me of how I spam my resume to find work... its the same feeling of getting automatic rejections or simply no response at all... worst yet is the - "thank you for applying but after careful consideration you are not the right match" type responses....

but whatever... its free to spam... it could be much worst... like cold calling and searching the newspaper like back in the day. LOL... I digress

 

[Anten]

@ MadMonkè
I think I should spam different chicks because I usaully just message on at a time.

Back to main topic. There are a honeysuckle load of vulgar message stories I hear from the very few girls I have meet on those sites. Usaully I only meet girls who contact me and never the other way around. It is pretty much the same with messages, I have maybe gotten a response from 3 or 4 girls in the 4 years I have had my account.

 

[Frito Bandito]

A large percentage of the women on online dating sites are actually seeking validation/attention and are truly not interested in dating, not available, or married. It's an ego boost. All. That. Attention.

 

[tangerinedream]

A large percentage of the women on online dating sites are actually seeking validation/attention and are truly not interested in dating, not available, or married. It's an ego boost. All. That. Attention.

Oh, can I play too?!

A large percentage of the men on dating sites are actually seeking a quick fresia and are not truly interested in dating, not available - some of them are even MARRIED. It's an ego boost via the cock. All. That. P*ssy.



-Source: anecdata gathered from my experiences on online dating sites

The moral of the story to the OP: As with anything, it takes time to separate the wheat from the chaff. There are a lot of players out there that we women have to weed through to find the men seeking a real relationship; likewise, men have to sift through the superficial attention-seeking chicks in order to find the women who are interested in a real relationship.

Online dating sites give the illusion of better odds since there is a large pool to draw from, but I think that the basic stats still apply. If 9 out of 10 people you meet IRL are not what you're looking for, then 9,000 out of the 10,000 people you run into online are likely to follow the same pattern.

 

[chill]

The problem with dating sites is that you only have the very first message to make an impression. That being said remember that most women are more socially aware than men. You have a lot going for you-your a good looking guy that obviously takes care of yourself. What women may be sensing is that you are trying too hard or care overly much about what they think of you. It's fantastic that you are being polite and respectful-and keep doing that. I would definitly add playful and nonchalant. If you add this in women will see you as both fun to talk to and more self assured. Women love a guy who is confident but also doesn't take himself too seriously. Remember-one first impression, use it to come off as a guy who would be able to entertain her.

 

[DFURY7]

The problem with dating sites is that you only have the very first message to make an impression. That being said remember that most women are more socially aware than men. You have a lot going for you-your a good looking guy that obviously takes care of yourself. What women may be sensing is that you are trying too hard or care overly much about what they think of you. It's fantastic that you are being polite and respectful-and keep doing that. I would definitly add playful and nonchalant. If you add this in women will see you as both fun to talk to and more self assured. Women love a guy who is confident but also doesn't take himself too seriously. Remember-one first impression, use it to come off as a guy who would be able to entertain her.

Thank you and I appreciate the honesty. Iv realized that is one thing I definitely need to work,I tend to take things too seriously and too personally. I need to let things slide more often and be a little more care free.

 

[Frito Bandito]

The problem with dating sites is that you only have the very first message to make an impression. That being said remember that most women are more socially aware than men. You have a lot going for you-your a good looking guy that obviously takes care of yourself. What women may be sensing is that you are trying too hard or care overly much about what they think of you. It's fantastic that you are being polite and respectful-and keep doing that. I would definitly add playful and nonchalant. If you add this in women will see you as both fun to talk to and more self assured. Women love a guy who is confident but also doesn't take himself too seriously. Remember-one first impression, use it to come off as a guy who would be able to entertain her.

Thank you and I appreciate the honesty. Iv realized that is one thing I definitely need to work,I tend to take things too seriously and too personally. I need to let things slide more often and be a little more care free.

Ah, yes, the old familiar oaf.

It does work wonders.

While you work on denying your true responses and seeming more nonchalant, also try to be Cocky + Funny, Display Higher Value, Neg the Target, Utilize the 2/3 Rule, Build Social Proof through Preselection, and find a good Wingwoman.

You'll be rolling in empty meaningless pussy in no time.

It's a Catch 22: be yourself - get ignored - feel empty / be a superhero - get the ladies - feel empty

 

[DFURY7]

I dont care to "roll in meaningless pussy" my friend. If I really wanted to do that I would just go to the clubs/bars and spot the slutty looking girls out, buy them a few drinks and end up going home with them... I been there and tried that,it wasnt for me and it made me feel worse than being single.

 

[chill]

[/quote]

Ah, yes, the old familiar oaf.

It does work wonders.

While you work on denying your true responses and seeming more nonchalant, also try to be Cocky + Funny, Display Higher Value, Neg the Target, Utilize the 2/3 Rule, Build Social Proof through Preselection, and find a good Wingwoman.

You'll be rolling in empty meaningless pussy in no time.

It's a Catch 22: be yourself - get ignored - feel empty / be a superhero - get the ladies - feel empty
[/quote]

Why so negative Frito Bandito? Remember the site your on. Most of the people are here for help. I have taught social skill and yes seduction classes and you know what? the majority of the guys do not come out of it rolling in empty meaningless pussy in no time.
This is because most of the guys that I taught were like alot of the people here-they just want to know how to meet someone, not take advantage of them. I won't lie, I used the game to spend a lot of nights in strange beds. I wouldn't go back to that now that I have a great wife and two wonderful kids-which practicing social skills got me. You seem to know a little about indirect game. Based off of what I have read the majority of the lonely people here don't and they aren't naturals. Don't look at it negatively-you're better than that or else you wouldn't be on a site that people come to for help in the first place and you wouldn't have learned game. Use your knowledge to help the people who want to meet someone but don't know how.