Today at work

[TheSolitaryMan]

Okay, in light of that last woman, here's what I think:

1. Don't think about it too much. As in don't think "Are they saying this about me, are they saying that about me?" or "Is so-and-so trying to set me up with her?"

That just leads to you being more self-critical or worrying too much about who is thinking what. Try to keep it as simple and clear as possible

2. Moving on from 1, continuing talking to her and being cheeky/jokey. Do you find her attractive? You say she is nice looking, but do you feel...I don't know, comfortable, around her? Not to get rude, but perhaps even a little turned on in her presence?

If so, that means that you've got good grounds to pursue her further, if she seems to be trying to connect with you like that.

Don't just try to go out with her if you're not that into her, or you'll end up back at square one again with some kind of forced or frustrating situation. What I mean is, don't just go for her because you're getting over Crazy Lady.

Good luck, however you approach it

 

[putter65]

Okay, in light of that last woman, here's what I think:

1. Don't think about it too much. As in don't think "Are they saying this about me, are they saying that about me?" or "Is so-and-so trying to set me up with her?"

That just leads to you being more self-critical or worrying too much about who is thinking what. Try to keep it as simple and clear as possible

2. Moving on from 1, continuing talking to her and being cheeky/jokey. Do you find her attractive? You say she is nice looking, but do you feel...I don't know, comfortable, around her? Not to get rude, but perhaps even a little turned on in her presence?

If so, that means that you've got good grounds to pursue her further, if she seems to be trying to connect with you like that.

Don't just try to go out with her if you're not that into her, or you'll end up back at square one again with some kind of forced or frustrating situation. What I mean is, don't just go for her because you're getting over Crazy Lady.

Good luck, however you approach it

Yes she's attractive. And I do feel comfortable around her. Been out with her a few times, you know xmas parties. I remember sitting next to her one time and trying to get rather close. This xmas eve she gave me a xmas kiss, I remember that. I remember one night out having a really nice chat with her.

We have really frank discussions about things. She told me she would never ask a guy out for example.

There was this other woman who I had coffee with on boxing day. I havent bothered with her because I am simply not interested. She has nothing to say. I think I like this other one better. But I am not massively into her. If Woman A hadn't have said that I wouldn't be writing this post. Even when I found out she was single, I don't think she would be on my radar. It's because Woman A said that we should get together. That planted the seed in my head.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Well, there's nothing wrong with A giving you that idea of course!

And it does indeed sound like you get on well with this lady. She seems (in my view from the little you've said) more upfront and honest than the other one, I'd say.

I'd just continue talking with her and get to know her further. She must also be comfy around you to talk to you "frankly", as you put it. So perhaps just stay casual and see if it goes anywhere?

I'll even go as far as to say that the friendship you have with her could be a good starting block for a decent, genuine relationship. Find out gently if she's over this other guy (just from her behaviour towards you) and if she likes you.

If she does, the world is your oyster! Perhaps get more flirty or try to just establish a bit more gentle physical contact with her when sitting together or something.

Not to run away with myself there! I think if you just take all of this slowly you might be pleasantly surprised.

 

[putter65]

Well, there's nothing wrong with A giving you that idea of course!

And it does indeed sound like you get on well with this lady. She seems (in my view from the little you've said) more upfront and honest than the other one, I'd say.

I'd just continue talking with her and get to know her further. She must also be comfy around you to talk to you "frankly", as you put it. So perhaps just stay casual and see if it goes anywhere?

I'll even go as far as to say that the friendship you have with her could be a good starting block for a decent, genuine relationship. Find out gently if she's over this other guy (just from her behaviour towards you) and if she likes you.

If she does, the world is your oyster! Perhaps get more flirty or try to just establish a bit more gentle physical contact with her when sitting together or something.

Not to run away with myself there! I think if you just take all of this slowly you might be pleasantly surprised.

Thanks. I will let you know what happens next week !

 

[putter65]

Well, there's nothing wrong with A giving you that idea of course!

And it does indeed sound like you get on well with this lady. She seems (in my view from the little you've said) more upfront and honest than the other one, I'd say.

I'd just continue talking with her and get to know her further. She must also be comfy around you to talk to you "frankly", as you put it. So perhaps just stay casual and see if it goes anywhere?

I'll even go as far as to say that the friendship you have with her could be a good starting block for a decent, genuine relationship. Find out gently if she's over this other guy (just from her behaviour towards you) and if she likes you.

If she does, the world is your oyster! Perhaps get more flirty or try to just establish a bit more gentle physical contact with her when sitting together or something.

Not to run away with myself there! I think if you just take all of this slowly you might be pleasantly surprised.

I've worked with her for 10 years and she seems a very nice person, completely different from that horror woman I was seeing. Of course I don't know her that well and I have generally only seen her at work. She isn't a bitter person and I like that.

But there are alot of women at work who are in relationships and I get along fine with them. You don't see them as available, so you don't think about them in a romantic way. This woman is like that. She is a drinker and a party type so I am not sure we have that much in common. But we do talk alot and in the last few months it has been mostly about my life.

I am not going to mention what Woman A said to anyone else or am I going to ask Woman A to talk more on the subject. They all talk at work (instead of working half the time !) and I am sure Woman A has mentioned it to Woman B.

 

[The Good Citizen]

Ah this is a tricky one, interesting though, I will await the progress update!

Work's a funny environment, similar to beer goggles you can have 'work goggles'. Sitting around all day worknig, bit bored, you can start to get idea's in your head about someone that in the outside world you probably wouldn't.

I would definitely get round to asking her for a drink, in more of an arranged date situation the dynamics would change from just being work colleagues and you might really hit it off, if not it was just a drink and life goes on.

Its always a tricky one at work though, as you say you don't want to get egg on your face and office gossip can be rife. I would personally look to ask her for a coffee in the most off hand way you can so if its declined it needn't look like a rejection. The opportunity will present itself at some point, just be sure to recognise it when it comes along, a subtle, stealth like registering of interest should be your aim!

 

[putter65]

Ah this is a tricky one, interesting though, I will await the progress update!

Work's a funny environment, similar to beer goggles you can have 'work goggles'. Sitting around all day worknig, bit bored, you can start to get idea's in your head about someone that in the outside world you probably wouldn't.

I would definitely get round to asking her for a drink, in more of an arranged date situation the dynamics would change from just being work colleagues and you might really hit it off, if not it was just a drink and life goes on.

Its always a tricky one at work though, as you say you don't want to get egg on your face and office gossip can be rife. I would personally look to ask her for a coffee in the most off hand way you can so if its declined it needn't look like a rejection. The opportunity will present itself at some point, just be sure to recognise it when it comes along, a subtle, stealth like registering of interest should be your aim!

Yes I agree, a coffee date is the best idea. I asked another woman last week. Somebody who I worked with, I sent a facebook message and dropped in a 'we will have to go for coffee sometime' at the end. It's no big deal. She replied but didnt comment on any possible meet up. I wasnt bothered. I should do the same with this other woman.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Yes, yes you should.

 

[CellarDoor]

You got this brother! Please go out with her if you like her. You can do this!

 

[putter65]

You got this brother! Please go out with her if you like her. You can do this!

Thanks for your support.

I don't share your optimism though. I just can't see anything in it, part of me thinks that. I think it's all about what was Woman A's mind. Was it a throwaway comment or a something she planned to say to get me and Woman B together. Imagine if Woman A tells Woman B what she said ? Woman B might get annoyed with Woman A. Woman B might not like me and Woman A was encouraging me.

I'm seeing her today and tommorrow so I will judge what she is like with me.

 

[flaneur]

You got this brother! Please go out with her if you like her. You can do this!

Thanks for your support.

I don't share your optimism though. I just can't see anything in it, part of me thinks that. I think it's all about what was Woman A's mind. Was it a throwaway comment or a something she planned to say to get me and Woman B together. Imagine if Woman A tells Woman B what she said ? Woman B might get annoyed with Woman A. Woman B might not like me and Woman A was encouraging me.

I'm seeing her today and tommorrow so I will judge what she is like with me.

Good luck. Keep us updated.

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

I don't like the idea of matching up with a woman who just recently ended her last relationship, especially if it's someone from work. But that's just me...
You should try talking to her, if you get the chance.

 

[putter65]

I don't like the idea of matching up with a woman who just recently ended her last relationship, especially if it's someone from work. But that's just me...
You should try talking to her, if you get the chance.

I always talk to her thats the thing. She's a very chatty person, in fact the manager is always having a go at her for talking too much.

I agree having a relationship with someone at work could be a problem. We will see our things go. Bothe Woman A and Woman B will be at work today when I get there.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Good Luck!

 

[putter65]

Good Luck!

Went to work today. She was on the till and could look thru the window as I was walking towards the shop. She had a worried look on her face, didn't smile. We said 'hello' to each other. I didn't speak to her after that. She was leaving as I was starting. She walked past me and didn't speak or look at me. She never said 'bye' either.

Last week she was shouting things at me from the warehouse when I was in the canteen. So it was different.

Not sure if I was reading too much into it. Or Woman A has said something to her. Maybe she looked worried because she thinks I have got 'ideas' about her.

I'm working with her tommorrow so I will find out more.

 

[kamya]

Or maybe shes worried because its been a week and you didn't bring it up at all. Hopefully your small window of opportunity didn't just close.

 

[putter65]

Or maybe shes worried because its been a week and you didn't bring it up at all. Hopefully your small window of opportunity didn't just close.

I've not seen her for a week. I don't know her mobile number either.

I have no idea if Woman A has said anything to her.

She did look worried though, my bet is Woman A has said something. They both left together today, they are best friends.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Or maybe something happened, like she got in trouble or had an angry customer.

 

[putter65]

Or maybe something happened, like she got in trouble or had an angry customer.

Yes it could be that. She doesnt get on with the manager and he was on. Maybe she was having a bad shift ? I'm not jumping the gun, Woman A might not have said anything, in fact she could have totally forgotting she said anything.

I will find out tommorrow because Woman B always chats with me on Wednesday. We work together from 8 to 11.

It was just the look she gave me when I was walking into the shop. I did notice it, like a worried look. It wasn't a neutral look, she certainly wasn't happy like she normally is. I did hear her laughing in the warehouse when I was in the canteen. Which suggests she wasn't in a bad mood.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Well, just try not to over analyze it. See how it goes tomorrow. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, might be hard to type that way though.