Too good to be true !

[putter65]

Went on a date on Saturday, she was really nice, had a nice time etc.

She's been texting me since and chatting on facebook. So I asked her about next Saturday. She took ages to answer and said something like 'we'll see' - and then gave a reason why - her kids. And then all the chat dried up so obviously asking her wasn't the right thing to do.

LIke I've mentioned before I'm 43, had a girlfriend 15 years ago for 3 weeks. Nothing else. Everybody at work was fussy as hell for me about Saturday giving me advice about what to wear etc. I suppose I'll get loads of questions about the date, maybe it wasn't a great idea telling people ?

I was trying not to get carried away with things. I didn't say anything drastic on Saturday, didn't try to kiss her or anything. I was worried about asking about the second date. I guess I shouldn't worry anymore. I hope she keeps in touch though, because she has been very chatty on facebook with me. And she has been showing an interest in me.

Oh well, I suppose it was a date of sorts and I didn't mess it up and I didn't get too nervous or anything.

One thing though, I got told that she was very lonely but while we were together she must have had 4 calls on her mobile and was forever fiddling about on her phone. She spoke of other men friends and dates etc.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Firstly, I'm glad your date went well!

On the other hand, that sucks. I'm afraid I'm not sure I can help you to work out her behaviour.

I hate to make gender generalisations, but I'm rapidly finding that although I can understand women as friends just as easily as males, the way women apparently approach romance confuses the absolute hell out of me.

What seems logical to me (and apparently men in general) appears different to (at least some) women.

I've had two women obviously "interested" in me as of late - and so far neither has actually gone further on that. It's possible her interest is of the same oddly fickle nature I guess.

I'd say that number of phone calls is a bit weird in my view. I wouldn't get your hopes up too much - I've done that in the past and it hurts when people don't live up to them

I hope things do work out for you and her though, regardless of my saying that

 

[Felix]

Went on a date on Saturday, she was really nice, had a nice time etc.

She's been texting me since and chatting on facebook. So I asked her about next Saturday. She took ages to answer and said something like 'we'll see' - and then gave a reason why - her kids. And then all the chat dried up so obviously asking her wasn't the right thing to do.

LIke I've mentioned before I'm 43, had a girlfriend 15 years ago for 3 weeks. Nothing else. Everybody at work was fussy as hell for me about Saturday giving me advice about what to wear etc. I suppose I'll get loads of questions about the date, maybe it wasn't a great idea telling people ?

I was trying not to get carried away with things. I didn't say anything drastic on Saturday, didn't try to kiss her or anything. I was worried about asking about the second date. I guess I shouldn't worry anymore. I hope she keeps in touch though, because she has been very chatty on facebook with me. And she has been showing an interest in me.

Oh well, I suppose it was a date of sorts and I didn't mess it up and I didn't get too nervous or anything.

One thing though, I got told that she was very lonely but while we were together she must have had 4 calls on her mobile and was forever fiddling about on her phone. She spoke of other men friends and dates etc.

Well congrats man! now I'm no expert but now that you got her attention, you should prepare yourself to make a move... go for the kiss! and maybe a bit more.

 

[Ak5]

Applause on your successful date.

It's good that those people at work care how it goes, they care about ya.

Btw, it's a good thing you didn't do anything to her at the date, she's a single mother! Obviously, she wouldn't want to "jump into conclusions", I hope lol!

Your confidence is up and your self-esteem is up, good, success! I'm content that you have achieved this.

Also, people have different definitions of loneliness.

Oh and yeah, I know your 43, but hell, praise is good at any age. Keep dating her!

 

[putter65]

Well I didn't sleep that well getting all down about things.

When I got up I sent her a text saying 'have a nice day' and she replied straight away.

She hasn't come out with any 'this is only friends' - nothing like that.

She says I am 'kind' alot and 'sweet' - I am just been myself. I'm not going overboard with compliments. I don't want to get too heavy.

I don't think she was lying about not been able to make Saturday, she told me she isn't always free because of her children. I just hope I didn't put my foot in it by asking. But that's just natural isn't it ? I enjoyed the date, so I would ask her again wouldn't I ?

 

[Vagrant Legacy]

Of course you should ask her again, all of this isn't looking like a bad premise at all Just don't nag about it every 5 minutes, but I think you've got that down

 

[LoneKiller]

Gratz on the date. As opposed to asking her out again, maybe you should let her make the next move. It might help clarify some of your concerns. You don't want to come off as desperate by always initiating the invite to go out.

 

[sth]

As opposed to asking her out again, maybe you should let her make the next move. It might help clarify some of your concerns. You don't want to come off as desperate by always initiating the invite to go out.

Bad advice. Seriously, guys are the ones who are suppose to do the first move.

 

[LoneKiller]

As opposed to asking her out again, maybe you should let her make the next move. It might help clarify some of your concerns. You don't want to come off as desperate by always initiating the invite to go out.

Bad advice. Seriously, guys are the ones who are suppose to do the first move.

Well, I've been wrong before.

 

[putter65]

I think I'll wait until she mentions it. Spoke to her today and she sent me a text at lunch time and also a few tonight. So nothing is wrong.

 

[putter65]

I just think today is the sign that it's all going to finish.

Just a feeling I have. And I am usually right about things. I am usually good at judging people and I think her interest is waning. They won't be a second date, text messages will dwindle etc.

The good thing is she has made me forget about this other woman who has been on my mind all year !

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Wow...its like you set youself up for a fall....even with the title of your thread...

Im serious dude....

Time and time again...Ive read stuff like this or even experinced it in my own life...

Its a self fulfiling prophecy..

Pople dont beleive it..but yet here it is again.

You live in accordance to your beliefs.

You bnascially cock blocking yourself...

You can do positive self talk..as your doing to ease your pains.

Or you can look at it in a different way...becuase its just ******** going in your head.. You dont know for sure.
what she.s feeling , thinking oe whats going to happen in the future.

Maybe just think...maybe she has kids and busied with her kids..so she dosnt have time to be texting you all day...

Maybe shes taking it slow?

---

All I know is...Ive been doing a lot of positive thinking...

Cuase I had a really shittie attitude and being around Carl wiht his retrded negativity kind da off on me.

The day I drove away from Carl...
That sameday...RENAE called me.
And this is after me going off on her
saying hateful **** to her...becuase I was surrounded negative **** all the time..

Renae made it very clear to me....
Do not treat her like that again.

And that I should say positive things to her....
She calls me everyday since that moment to tell me she loves me very very much.

All I know Renae and I are getting Married..
I believe our love. I belieive in her..in us..

We deserve it..it happens.
Poeple that loves each other very much
or found lost love reunite and live happily after all the time.

 

[putter65]

I know your right. She probably had other things to do / sort out and didn't have time to sit at her laptop chatting with me on facebook. She had a valid reason for not going out this Saturday and it's not like she totally ignored my text last night. She answered it.

I've tried not to blurt out 'I think your lovely and want you to be my girlfriend' - even though she has been fishing for compliments. She keeps calling me 'kind', 'sweet' and 'considerate' - is that a good sign or that she is letting me down gently ?

What should my next move be ?

Leave it a day or so, no contact at all. It shows I have other things to do. I did think of sending a text tommorrow evening just saying 'enjoy the weekend ' - something short.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I've tried not to blurt out 'I think your lovely and want you to be my girlfriend' - even though she has been fishing for compliments. She keeps calling me 'kind', 'sweet' and 'considerate' - is that a good sign or that she is letting me down gently ?

Why not? What do you have to lose from making a move? Is she a work colleague by which you will be uncomfortable interacting with for the rest of your job if she turns you down?

The worst that can happen is that she says no.

 

[putter65]

I've tried not to blurt out 'I think your lovely and want you to be my girlfriend' - even though she has been fishing for compliments. She keeps calling me 'kind', 'sweet' and 'considerate' - is that a good sign or that she is letting me down gently ?

Why not? What do you have to lose from making a move? Is she a work colleague by which you will be uncomfortable interacting with for the rest of your job if she turns you down?

The worst that can happen is that she says no.

No she is not a work colleague. She comes into my shop as a customer but I didn't recognize her when I saw her for the first time.

It is a good point because when I asked her out initially, I did because there was nothing to lose. She could have said 'no' and deleted me off her facebook but since I didn't know her then it wouldn't be a big deal.

I could be more bold I suppose. I've only met her once, it's not like I'm going to be heartbroken if she says 'no' - well not for a long time anyway.

I'll just have to see what happens. She did tell her friend (who told me) that she wants to go to the pictures with me during the week but only when her mother comes back from a holiday. She did say 'keep in touch' with facebook and texting and when I said 'we could go out on Saturdays' she said 'only if she is free'

 

[IgnoredOne]

I see no reason to hesitate.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Just keep writting her positive stuff.
Thats what I do with Renae.
Heck..sometimes...Ill just ggogle Love poams or saying.
Someday Ill talk to Renae for Hours..other days for only 5 mins.


I dont know if I would ask her to be your GF yet....
If you work wiht her or knows where she works...Have a dozen roses send to her work..

Stay positive and let go/ release.

---

Give her a couple more dates or at least make out with her first.
Have you kissed her yet?

A little something I learned...
The 5 R

Relax
Recognize
Realized
Reason
Release

Just relax....stay clam
Recognized...its all good
Realize....whatever I want..wants me.
Reasons....I love her

Release... Let go, send out positve thouights or the power of the universe.
or the father dose the works or god can do for me what I cant do for myself....
Some poeple say...Let go and Let god.

Once you let go...its like having faith.

This way your not thinking of negative stuff or WHAT IF?...

Just keep doing simple footwork of writting her positive stuff.

If your gonna have thoughts of her...have thoughts of you making out wiht her....

Not the negative stuff....

 

[putter65]

Just keep writting her positive stuff.
Thats what I do with Renae.
Heck..sometimes...Ill just ggogle Love poams or saying.
Someday Ill talk to Renae for Hours..other days for only 5 mins.


I dont know if I would ask her to be your GF yet....
If you work wiht her or knows where she works...Have a dozen roses send to her work..

Stay positive and let go/ release.

---

Give her a couple more dates or at least make out with her first.
Have you kissed her yet?

A little something I learned...
The 5 R

Relax
Recognize
Realized
Reason
Release

Just relax....stay clam
Recognized...its all good
Realize....whatever I want..wants me.
Reasons....I love her

Release... Let go, send out positve thouights or the power of the universe.
or the father dose the works or god can do for me what I cant do for myself....
Some poeple say...Let go and Let god.

Once you let go...its like having faith.

This way your not thinking of negative stuff or WHAT IF?...

Just keep doing simple footwork of writting her positive stuff.

If your gonna have thoughts of her...have thoughts of you making out wiht her....

Not the negative stuff....

---

Thanks. I will try to stay positive

ps i didn't kiss her on our first date. I was thinking about it all the way home (she was driving). When she stopped and we said our goodbyes, she didn't make any indication she wanted to be kissed so I didn't.

 

[putter65]

Well I sent her a message on facebook, just some idle chat. All of it positive stuff. I put 'hope to speak soon' at the end.

She answered. Seems she is stressed about her new job and it's getting to her. Her last line was 'yes we'll catch up soon'

So I think everything is cool.

 

[theSmokingRabbit]

Sometimes we get so caught up in our lives that we forget other people have one as well.

Best thing you could do is stay in contact and try not to become a stressor.


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