tedgresham
Writer, Thinker, Trouble Maker
Isn't it somewhat human that when there's a group who have been together to see a new member as the 500 lb elephant in the room? And in a group such as this where people are already leery of strangers new people haven't earned trust. It's true in the real world and just as much online.
Something else, too, related to forums. Forums are created most often for some specific purpose, woodworking, mechanics, politics, whatever. When someone new discovers the forum they want to learn, explore, deal with the specific subject of the forum as stated. They post things related to that subject that of course has probably been hashed out already. Posts that open old questions seem a bit annoying to those who have worked through the questions and have moved on to chit-chat. It is true most have probably been covered but for me a post that is two years old does not have much relevance.
I notice on this forum that there are two basic kinds of posts. One kind are those that relate to the subject of the forum. Newbies, like me, show up, having found a place they might find friends/answers and post their hearts out. The other are totally unrelated to the subject but just conversations a group of friends might have. Newbies post the former, old hands post the latter, for the most part.
This particular forum is not one that can offer solutions. Our reasons for feeling lonely may sometimes may be similar but are never the same. And for most of us there's no solution. Our personality and situation are built in, they are who we are, so there are no answers. There may be pointers, suggestions on how to deal, referrals, etc., but ultimately it's the old "misery loves company" thing. Our reluctance to trust prevents acceptance of someone new.
I'm different. Of course, that's how I wound up here. But I'm different from the different. I think too damn much and thus I tend to jump in with both feet. That makes me seem too ...what... too much of a butinsky? I've never been timid. Neither do I like beating around a bush. Say what you feel, view, think, be direct. That's how I am. Even so, I have not felt any particular animosity here as I have encountered before. Many here seem like pretty cool people. Some are wired differently so my views are not always welcome. That's ok. There does seem to be a tendency for some newbies to be kind'a left in the background if they're not like me, willing to jump in with both feet. There's also a kind of familiarity among the old timers that lead to conversations about things they know about but newbies don't. But that's not unexpected. Over all I think this forum is not hostile or mean to new people at all. Thanks!
Something else, too, related to forums. Forums are created most often for some specific purpose, woodworking, mechanics, politics, whatever. When someone new discovers the forum they want to learn, explore, deal with the specific subject of the forum as stated. They post things related to that subject that of course has probably been hashed out already. Posts that open old questions seem a bit annoying to those who have worked through the questions and have moved on to chit-chat. It is true most have probably been covered but for me a post that is two years old does not have much relevance.
I notice on this forum that there are two basic kinds of posts. One kind are those that relate to the subject of the forum. Newbies, like me, show up, having found a place they might find friends/answers and post their hearts out. The other are totally unrelated to the subject but just conversations a group of friends might have. Newbies post the former, old hands post the latter, for the most part.
This particular forum is not one that can offer solutions. Our reasons for feeling lonely may sometimes may be similar but are never the same. And for most of us there's no solution. Our personality and situation are built in, they are who we are, so there are no answers. There may be pointers, suggestions on how to deal, referrals, etc., but ultimately it's the old "misery loves company" thing. Our reluctance to trust prevents acceptance of someone new.
I'm different. Of course, that's how I wound up here. But I'm different from the different. I think too damn much and thus I tend to jump in with both feet. That makes me seem too ...what... too much of a butinsky? I've never been timid. Neither do I like beating around a bush. Say what you feel, view, think, be direct. That's how I am. Even so, I have not felt any particular animosity here as I have encountered before. Many here seem like pretty cool people. Some are wired differently so my views are not always welcome. That's ok. There does seem to be a tendency for some newbies to be kind'a left in the background if they're not like me, willing to jump in with both feet. There's also a kind of familiarity among the old timers that lead to conversations about things they know about but newbies don't. But that's not unexpected. Over all I think this forum is not hostile or mean to new people at all. Thanks!
![Thomas]](https://cdn.imagearchive.com/alonelylife/data/avatars/s/14/14186.jpg?1631136400){kind=avatar}
