Two of my friends are addicts

[RubyPearl]

I guess I should say both alcoholics but then one takes SOMA with the alcohol. Today I had to call poison control and a crisis line to see what to do. I came close to calling the police, but did not. He did come down from "that" incident but who knows what is going on with him right now.

As a person with few friends, I am having a hard time dealing with these two situations. I should probably just walk away from both, but like I said, very few friends. So I get myself involved in the drama of these people's lives, which I know does me no good. Anyway, it was a bad day and I am thinking out loud. Anyone else have experience in dealing with this stuff? How do you handle it?

 

[heretostay]

i know what you mean. i have never had friends that were that bad, but last semester i did meet a guy that was an alcoholic. i knew i should just leave him alone but i was lonely and we got along for the most part. so i empathize with you. Luckily for me he failed out of school and i havent seen him since. took care of that problem.

 

[RubyPearl]

i know what you mean. i have never had friends that were that bad, but last semester i did meet a guy that was an alcoholic. i knew i should just leave him alone but i was lonely and we got along for the most part. so i empathize with you. Luckily for me he failed out of school and i havent seen him since. took care of that problem.

Thanks. It's not that these people are bad people. Well, at least not my friend with the alcohol/SOMA habit. He is quite different when not using. He's just gotten himself addicted to doing the SOMA each day and then, at times, drinking with it. I've known him for 10 years and I do know him to be a decent person.

It's just so frustrating dealing with these situations.

 

[heretostay]

These situations are frustrating. my brother is an alcoholic and for awhile there it was really ugly. i love him to death, but when he's drinking he can be an *******. its emotionally exhausting.

 

[RubyPearl]

These situations are frustrating. my brother is an alcoholic and for awhile there it was really ugly. i love him to death, but when he's drinking he can be an *******. its emotionally exhausting.

Emotionally exhausting is an excellent way to put it. Just curious, how did he improve if he did?

 

[Twitchy]

Anyone else have experience in dealing with this stuff? How do you handle it?

All I know to do is explain your feelings to them. If they are adults, they will ultimately have to come to their own conclusions...preferably before it's too late.

I sympathize with your situation. I once had a good friend die after being unable to curb his extracurricular chemical intake. I almost went down that road as well.

 

[shells]

Having a mother that was addicted to pain medications and father who is an alcoholic, it is very hard to help an addict if they do not wish to take the initiative to better themselves. As a friend, all you can do is tell them that they will die if they don't shape up - because that is the reality of it. You can beg, cry, plead, and an addicted individual will make promise of change but won't. They really have to want to better themselves, wake up, and face the realities of their decisions. Sometimes they cannot do it alone, but you can't keep compromising yourself, either. My mother went into cardiac arrest because the medications she took was too much for her heart. My father uses alcohol to self-medicate his mental illnesses, which pushed him even further into a state of mental deterioration.

Your friends are unfortunately going to have to face the consequences of their decisions and it's going to be brutal. However, they are lucky to have a friend that is as concerned for them as you are. At the same time, you can't compromise yourself because it is possible that they can bring you down with them. They will steal from you, regardless of how good of friends you are, just to pay for their habits. You also have to realize that the person they are while they are sober, and the person while they are while on these drugs - are completely two different people. Trying to reason with a drunk or someone who is high off drugs is about as effective as trying to lose weight by sitting on the couch watching reality shows all day long.

Next time something happens, you should call 9-1-1. If he is completely "out of it", try to take pictures of him while he is in the hospital. Develop them, and leave them at his door or in is mailbox in an envelope. Write a note to them saying that this is what he has to look forward to the rest of his life. They may hate you. But it could be a way to help wake them up, sometimes an addicted person has to hit rock bottom before they can start clawing their way up. Ultimately, they have to be the ones to want to change.

 

[heretostay]

Just curious, how did he improve if he did?

he did improve. he hit rock bottom. when he gets drunk he cuts himself up. he was getting out of the ER again and he said, "those idiots. they let me out. all i had to do was feed them some stupid lies." and i replied, "Ya, they're the idiots. No one is gonna make you get help." he was also on the verge of losing his job. another time when i was living with him i got really angry with him and we got in a sort of verbal fight. he said he never forgot that day, and realized he probably had a problem (most alcoholic are in denial) because i never get mad at anyone.

during all this i started going to alanon meetings and learning to deal with the guilt from these situations. so i started being more honest with him about his behavior. i think it helped him.

counseling didnt help him. he didnt like AA either. but he found out about an injection he could get from the doctor that was covered in his insurance. its called Vivitrol. He said the cravings completely went away and he turned his life around.

Unfortunately he moved to a new state and that injection is not covered by anyone in that state. he's drinking again. my anxiety is going up again. i really care about him, it hurts to watch him destroy his life, i feel guilty that im not there for him, and i resent him for having to deal with all my anxiety. Its a lot to deal with. im going to have to find alanon meetings again.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I'm a recoverying alcoholic/addict. Recovery is possiable....if I want it.

I've been on the giving end and recieving end.
My ex-gf relasped after 7 years into our relationship..She changed in a major psycho bitch.
Truama, dramma, chaos...the whole nine yards. The last 5 years of that relationship tored
me up. The cops came to our house...too many times.
There was absolutely nothing I could do...I tired everything under the sun.
She had to want to get clean and sober for herself.
There was so much chaso and dystructions..she can't bare to face me.

As a recoverying alcoholic/addict myself...one of the many things that i had to aside from not
using was also stop hanging around people that were drinking and using.

Recovery has to do alot more than abstance

I'm also ACOA...bascailly I grew up in a dysfunctional family.
My father is a major alcoholic and my mother is co-dependent.
no..I didn't grow up in a trailer park...We live in a big ass house with a lot of stuff, in the nice part of town.

Looking good on the outside and all ****** up on the inside...
That's also a figure of speach....because I felt really, really all **** up inside...with plenty of money, drinking buddies and
women throwning themselves at me....Too bad it stopped working...especailly the part of women throwing themselves at me
They all totally blew my fucken mind and then some..I had to get really, really ****** up and check the **** out.
I saw the world through fractured rose coloured glasses.
I didn't really wanted to come back to reality...because mohter fuckers were saying Jesue was going to comeback..And
I wasn't good enough to go to heaven...
Well, **** me with a screw driver..I belive Jesus got reincarnated as my father...Nothing I did was good enough for him either.
And my mother is a fucken NONE....you can't do non of this. you can't non of that...becuase ya never know what ya going get with dad..
No wonder I be **** up in the head.....How in the **** can i be good at anything if I can't do nothing....ERRRR!!!!!! Talk about giving me mixed signals...
Walking on eggshells all the time....I took on the role of the lost neglected fucken child.
I swear to ya...there was a big ass fucken elephant in the living room and it scared the living **** out of ma...
No friends wanted to come to my fucken house and visit...Only pyscho ******* that wanted to **** my brains out becuase she didn't want to go home
to her lovely pink fucken elephant either...

I hitted a bottom at a very young age. I lost my wife and child. Most of all I lost myself.
I love my ex-wf very much. I nevered want to hurt her. I ****** up that relationship
I'm grateful she a part of my life today. Sometimes it's not easy to clean up my mess...

That's why some people don't like AA/NA/ACOA/AL-anon....12 steps based recovery program...
It's not just not using...and it's not the GOD thing...becuase you don't have to beliving in god or a HP to work the 12 steps...
It's making it right... making amends, paying restitutions, cleaning up the freaken mess that you cuased while you were ****** up out of your fucken mind...

 

[evanescencefan91]

hey ruby pearl I'm sorry about all the issues

I do agree, that you should be there for them

do they have any other freinds, or maybe family they could turn to,

off course money would probably issue, in sending them to rehab

keep telling them the problems that arise from their destructive habbits

and if you have to freacking cuff them and drag them to AA

best of luck

and you are a good person and good friend for helping them

 

[Brian]

My dad was an alcoholic for a while. He was the 'sad drunk' type. I was incredibly intolerant until he came around and cleaned up his act. I thought he was pathetic. I was ashamed to have him as a father. I think this is the root of why I abhor drunk people so much. They are worthless to me.

I had a coworker for some time who smoked weed pretty regularly. Everyone knew, even the boss. Despite this, he was someone the boss cared about in a brotherly, familial sort of way. He wanted to see him get his life in order and become something. So we made fun of him and his habits on an almost daily basis, and teased him about being stoned and slow all the time.


...Maybe I'm not the best person to be giving advice on this

 

[CAS]

I guess I should say both alcoholics but then one takes SOMA with the alcohol. Today I had to call poison control and a crisis line to see what to do. I came close to calling the police, but did not. He did come down from "that" incident but who knows what is going on with him right now.

As a person with few friends, I am having a hard time dealing with these two situations. I should probably just walk away from both, but like I said, very few friends. So I get myself involved in the drama of these people's lives, which I know does me no good. Anyway, it was a bad day and I am thinking out loud. Anyone else have experience in dealing with this stuff? How do you handle it?

Walk away from them. They are not worth it.

 

[shells]

I never saw my mother as "worthless" or not "worth it" , just for the record. Despite her addiction to pain medication, she was a wonderful mother to me - the best I could have asked for. Some addicts can snap out of it, some can't. It's a very slippery slope.

The only reason I warn the OP to not get too involved is because it hurts too much to watch a person tear themselves down. You don't want to compromise yourself by setting yourself up to get hurt. There isn't much you can do. You can try to be supportive and helpful, but they have to want to change.