Unskewing my View of Relationships

[SophiaGrace]

@SophiaGrace: Actually it won't, are you saying that your boyfriend and you were friends...friends...friends... poof lovers? If so... then you won the lotto and I hope that you can keep it for as long as you can. Otherwise there was a process in which you went through to get there.

I am not saying that you are not right. However, I have a bit of pride. If I met a girl and we become friends, then she dates any of number of guys, then she decides I am worth it. She is settling for me. In my opinion that won't work out. If we are both friends and both single, then yeah I could see that happening. However, your use of the word "eventually" inspires little hope hun. Especially if I flirt with her for a while and she openly rejects me saying "We are friends". Then suddenly poof she wants to be with me? I am sorry to say that is not the kind of relationship I want. Those are the kinds of relationships that lead low self-esteem, cheating, and lack of intimacy. I would rather pick up a stranger and start a relationship with her, and end it within 3 months. Rather then spend time crawling into her harem of potential suitors. Playing the role of a friend until she feels that she is ready for me. She can have me when I am ready to settle for her. That will all fall into my standards for the kind of female I want. Standard number 1, I want a female who is willing to risk being alone for a chance at being happy. A girl who plants me in her friend garden to pick at a later time, provided I grow to term, is not the kind of girl I want.

Yes, there is a process, that's why I said it would take a while to develop emotional intimacy. o_o

This is true with any sort of relationship, love takes time to blossum.

You seem to be taking a superior tone with me and making assumptions about the advice I've given you (the back-story on my current relationship) so I don't know why I'm wasting my time trying to explain my advice to you if you keep shoving it back in my face.

By the way "not having sex with anything that has a ******" way to objectify a human being.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@SophiaGrace: I am sorry to disappoint you but I am not looking for love. At least I am not looking for love at the moment. That will likely change. I do not know if you read my original post to PsychoBilli about baseball. If not I would highly recommend you read it.

Lets say you are walking down a hallway. Then you come to a corridor, that contains a lot of vents that are spewing out steam. You are given a choice, you can continue to walk down the corridor pretending that the steam is not burning you and blinding you to other obstacles. Or you can take the time to figure out a generic way to protect yourself from the steam or shut off the steam. I spent 6 years ignoring the steam, and the only thing that I got from that were steam burns. I was miserable, sad and suicidal. If I had taken the time to sit down and turn off the steam. Well who knows what would have happened. I am pretty sure though that the burns would not have been as painful. That is how I see this.

That is the way I see my current strife. I am getting rid of one large and dangerous obstacle so I can see smaller and potentially more dangerous obstacles. Tell me what is wrong with that? Plus I get to hear my roommate and his girlfriend have sex from the hours of about 22:00 till about 8:00. So keeping sex off my mind is a great deal harder.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Dude...just start asking women out. Plenty of women loves sex or love getting thier
brains **** out. You can if you want...you dont have to seduce them.
Had plenty of women asked me out or tell me straight up they want sex.

You just gatta be cool about it... Idk that's know it usually works for me.

Once you gain experinces..you'll learn how to sexually arose and please women.
Well...it aint fucken rocket science..if you **** her good..she'll want to **** her more N more.
Boost ur ego or self confidence..who gives a ****???

It's these fucken morals, values N opionions of other people thats ****** you up in the head.
Once your ****** in the head..you're ******.

Go out...meet women throw yourself out there. Get started...just get started.
Get rejected..get turned on..whatever. **** a couple of women at the sametime..It's all good.

Taking advice on this matter from a women when your a man..it fucken retarted.
Women are emotional creatrure...And some women wants a committment, attachement, emmeshing
Others don't.

Stop lying to yourself..it's ok to want to **** the living **** out of women.
Alot of men wants to ..there's nothing wrong with ya.
Sex is not everything...but it's alot.

There's bicthes that'll use sex as a weapon...used you..control you
and all kinds of good ****. Dont be blinded to this.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@Lonesome Crow: ^_^ I am glad at least one person is supportive of me, and offers some kind of advice. I know there are plenty of women out there who are not afraid of sexuality and understand what it means to men. The truth is this not my first step. I still have one other goal to accomplish first. Self-improvement and what not.

I understand that experience is what will count. I intend to get some. >_< Lots of experience.

 

[unlucky in life]

@Lonesome Crow: ^_^ I am glad at least one person is supportive of me, and offers some kind of advice. I know there are plenty of women out there who are not afraid of sexuality and understand what it means to men. The truth is this not my first step. I still have one other goal to accomplish first. Self-improvement and what not.

I understand that experience is what will count. I intend to get some. >_< Lots of experience.

 

[blackdot]

Relationships do not equal having sex.
I was with 1 person in my life. We tried to have sex once. We couldn't figure out how the process worked and she gave up trying.

I still don't think sex actually exists, with or without a relationship.

 

[Romeo Echo]

So I am in kind of a down mood. So I figure I will go on about something that I thought about... well a week ago.

So a lot of you have seen that I have been posting a generic view on relationships. That view is Relationships equal sex. So I want to be in a relationship because that implies I will get to have sex.

I think this is because of the fact that I am not confident in my ability too meet and seduce females. So I think a good way to unskew my views would be to focus on seducing females and having sex... you know boosting my confidence in that field. I don't know this seems like a great idea since I have a focus on sex. To be honest going the other way of not wanting sex or pretending to not want it seems like a bad idea.

Thoughts? Please move if this is the wrong forum.

Your goals and desires are clear, thats a start even if they do tend to be a touch blunt for my tastes. But instead of condemning You, I can completely understand your viewpoint, you wish to experience something that others tell you that is magnificent and you want to use a relationship to get to that.

My advice is don't run before you can walk, maybe setting out with one sole goal from something may be a touch narrow sighted, and could even taint the experience when you actually get there. Another thought is, what if you were the other person? would you approve of just being utilized to reach a desire?

Just some thoughts, as you requested.

 

[Happy To Be]

Hm. Ever read The Game by Neil Strauss? It sounds like that's exactly what you're looking for. Or just google "mystery method" or "pickup artistry." Sinns of Attraction is a good site to start at, you can sign up for a good amount of free introductory videos and there's some really awesome advice in them. Harnessing that God-gifted deep male voice of yours, eye contact so fierce you could look Meghan Fox in the eye and make her back down, and many great tips. People have a judgement of the PUA world/The Game being focused on sex, but sex is just the reward you'll reap for all the hard work in confidence/self-improvement you'll end up doing.

Fyi, I'm a girl. Even I was able to learn a lot from that world/am still learning.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@Happy To Be: I have been lurking on those kinds of sites for a while now. I am working on finding a good electronic version of the game. Right now Magic Bullets is my preferred method.

 

[sylvestris lybica]

Don't go into a serious relationship for the sex...relationships are not worth the headache if ALL you want is the sexual part. People who want to avoid a romantic relationship and get sex generally go for one night stands or friends with benefits situations. Alternatively, it's not that hard to be up front with people and say "hey, I just want a casual relationship". If the person wants something more serious, don't go for it just to get laid. That's playing with someone's head. But if a person agrees that they're not looking for anything serious and just want to hang out and have sex, there's no problem. I can't really give you any real advice on how to do this, but I can say that going straight for the serious relationships is NOT fair to the other person and you seem to recognize that, so at least it's a fairer alternative.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@sylvestris lybica: Now I let you know I am a male. What you described will work for a moderately attractive female. Any girl can get most any man by doing what you just said. Men on the other hand won't get crap. Yeah we might get lucky but the met me emphasize LUCKY!!! Such is the social norm in western society. So men have to play act. I would leave it on her to ask me what I am wanting.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

If a guy has the right personality, he can get somewhere. That's pretty much what those PUA books teach.

However, if you don't ask women out, you will get nowhere! You could be a rich millionaire, with drop dead gorgeous looks, and a fat wallet and big ****...and you'd still get nowhere if you didn't ask out girls!

I am sorry for the necro thread bump, but just had to say that.

 

[Pezza]

If a guy has the right personality, he can get somewhere. That's pretty much what those PUA books teach.

However, if you don't ask women out, you will get nowhere! You could be a rich millionaire, with drop dead gorgeous looks, and a fat wallet and big ****...and you'd still get nowhere if you didn't ask out girls!

I am sorry for the necro thread bump, but just had to say that.

You don't seriously believe that do you?

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

You don't seriously believe that do you?

It's better than believing that I am flawed, Pezza.

 

[kamya]

Realistically you wouldn't have to do anything if you had all of those assets on your side working for you. Women would be all over you. They might not produce the most meaningful "relationships" ever but you would have no trouble finding them.

 

[Pezza]

I don't believe that a multi-millionaire, Brad Pitt lookalike who is a hung like a horse would not have women approach him...

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

*sigh*

I guess it was my way of making me feel better.

You're right, though. Which is why I hope someday to be a millionaire, and have lots of plastic surgery.

 

[VanillaCreme]

This thread has just became even more degenerative... Didn't think it could happen.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

O_O Holy crap my thread revived. How odd, I wonder why that is...

I can kind of agree with Muse. However, you would have to look like an average guy. Most people who are rich flaunt that fact. That is where your statement falls apart.

Regardless, I no longer care about fixing this issue. Why bother when I just repulsed women anyway?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Well, its the truth or some of it.
It dosnt cover everything and everyone.
Theres 6 biilions people on this planet...with
Trillions of posiblities.

Wheather i attrack women or not as initial attraction.
In my experince...i must pursuit her. Make ****
Happen. Take the initiative at all level. Be a go get her.
Keep the fire buring. Work through issues. Especially
In long term relationships.

No, im not mr. GQ or millionair.
Ive been with drop dead gorgeous women all my life.
Plenty of women pursued me.

I also know i sure as hell didnt have to tried
As hard when i had money to burned and drove
A sports car and lived in a nice house.

True money cant buy love or happiness...
But it sure as hell makes it esier.
Its an asset that allows plenty of room for
Mistakes.

Plenty of couples fight over fincial burdens.
Marriages ends becuase of financial difficulties.
Im not blinded to those facts or statistics.

Why in the **** do you think millions of
Men are slave to grind?
To provide MONEY....******* MONEY.

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WHEN WERE HUNGRY LOVE WILL KEEP US ALIVE....
YEAH,...I like this romantic love song too.