Unsupportive Family

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Lilith

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May 26, 2013
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Here are my honest feelings about my so-called "family":

I feel that my mom wants me to have low self-esteem; she talks down to me all the time. My dad is a control freak who wants me to live at home forever. My brother has a narcissistic personality disorder and he hardly respects me. Ugh.. They're all mental.

I recently figured out what I really want to do with my life based on my passion. It's a great thing, but none of them shows any support and it seems as though they secretly want me to live in this place (toxic environment to me) forever. :/ *cringes* I expect my family to be happy and proud that I have finally figured out what I want to do with my life. I don't know what's wrong with them. When I told my mother I have a plan now, the first thing she said was "wow so you've wasted all those years?" HELLO. At least I NOW know what I am supposed to do.
It's sad that they also treat me like a child. I'll be 23 by the end of this month. I seriously can't wait to move out.

Anyway...

Who else here lives with unsupportive people?
 
Family support? Eh... what's family support?

I have quite an odd and dysfunctional family. I won't even begin telling you how lol.

That said, I can't wait to move out either. When are you planning on doing that?

I've given up on my family for some proper support a long time ago. I didn't even expect (or want) them to come around when I was in the hospital for a few days. Think I only see it as my own life, my own support. Though it was slightly different when my dad was still around.. but that's a whole other crazy story. :p

You're not alone, Lilith. *hugs* Hang in there.
 
I do. Though there's just my mom. I'm an only child. Don't have a dad.
But my mom drives me crazy sometimes. She would always talk about others, and in return putting me down and making me depressed and angry and feel like I'm the biggest failure ever.
She always question and objects whatever I wanna do with my life.
My mom and I have a very close relationship, so it hurts me every single day not to be appreciated or noticed by her.
She always say she does but sure as hell she doesn't show it. Mehhh.

You should move out, it'll be the best for you. I can't move out cuz I can't leave my mom alone but over the years I've learned not to give a damn anymore and just do my own thing. :)
 
I wouldn't say my mom is unsupportive, she just has her own way about being supportive. Not like she's been really negative like what you experience Lilith. My brother is unsupportive, he can never say anything positive to me.
 
I have a supportive family. But sometimes I can't stand living with them either, but just because they annoy the **** out of me!
 
*hugs ladyforsaken back* My family supports me money-wise, so they use that excuse to treat me like a naive child when I'm way more open-minded and in a sense, wiser than they are. I have a pretty good b.s. detector. I hope you can move out soon! Just got to be determined and motivated, I guess. I'm probably going to move out in a couple of years after I complete my transfer classes.

@tokyotenshi : I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you find your true passion so your mother can't put you down and make you depressed about what you really want to do. Listen to yourself and no one else who doesn't think you can do it. No one else is you, that's the only reason.
 
Lilith said:
*hugs ladyforsaken back* My family supports me money-wise, so they use that excuse to treat me like a naive child when I'm way more open-minded and in a sense, wiser than they are. I have a pretty good b.s. detector. I hope you can move out soon! Just got to be determined and motivated, I guess. I'm probably going to move out in a couple of years after I complete my transfer classes.

Thanks! Aww same time, couple of years for me too. :)

Let's do this!
 
ladyforsaken said:
Lilith said:
*hugs ladyforsaken back* My family supports me money-wise, so they use that excuse to treat me like a naive child when I'm way more open-minded and in a sense, wiser than they are. I have a pretty good b.s. detector. I hope you can move out soon! Just got to be determined and motivated, I guess. I'm probably going to move out in a couple of years after I complete my transfer classes.

Thanks! Aww same time, couple of years for me too. :)

Let's do this!

Yes !!!!! Have you figured out a plan for yourself? ^^
 
Lilith i may not exactly be able to empathize with you completely because my family consists of my dad and me. But yes my dad is pretty rough on me because i've gone through **** in the past like doing drugs etc and he had to come to my aid. He keeps reminding of those instances because I had to give up a good college and a good career prospect etc and start all over again. Though things are much better now ( now I just smoke weed sometimes and don't consider that as a drug). But he's still rough because he compares me to what i could have been if i hadn't made all those mistakes. So I get guilt trips thrown at me. But I choose to hold on because i've slowly but surely gone from strength to strength. I say hold on and try to concentrate on your future because once they see you getting better at what you've planned to do, things will only get better and respect will come. Cheer up and don't lose sight of your goals.
 
*Joins the club*

Sometimes I feel like an investment to my Mum. Like I was made to benefit her life. She Loves to take and Hates to give. My Dad has won the 'Lazyiest Father Of The Year' award, 10 years running at least. His loss though. One of my Brothers has been dissowned by my at least. Guilty of all but ruining my childhood. The other I get on with, but we're not as close as we once were. All of this has made me a very responsible, independent person. People have wondered how I am the way I am. I put it down to having a stronger 'Will' then many. You just have to be the strong, decent one in your family sometimes.
 
I'm lucky to have a supportive family, however dysfunctional they are.. in lots of ways. My mother has always been more of a friend than a mum and my dad supportive so I consider myself very lucky.

I think most parents just want their children (of all ages) to be happy, balanced and do well in life. And I think mostly any negativity or criticism comes from within themselves because as a parent you constantly doubt every action and decision ever made. I'll bet deep down your parents are proud of you and just dont realise that what they say has such an impact on you. They're most likely unhappy with themselves and projecting. People do it all the time.

Chin up and do what makes you happy
 
It's unfortunate that you live in a household that doesn't support you. Just try to do everything you can to try to make those wishes come true. :) You may be stuck in a runt right now cause you're still living under their house hold but once you get out everything you accomplished will be worth it in the end.

I hope everything works out for you in the end! :)
 

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