The topic of this post is weakness and relationships. I'll explain further. What I am pondering is the correlation between being able to show vulnerability and whether that makes you an attractive mate.
Life hardens us. There is no doubt about that. Some of us just get there sooner rather than later in life. My life put me in situations from a very early age where I was victimized on account of being weak. This weakness takes many forms: being young and naive, being young and small, being honest and trusting, being sheltered and gentle. I know not all of these things can be characterized as "weak", but to some extent, having those traits does predispose a person to being taken advantage of. So for the purpose of this post, I will use the term weakness synonymously with vulnerable. Ok, enough of the rambling and qualifying.
Life hardened me. I was victimized in a wide array of ways on a multitude of occasions in my younger years. I came to loathe weakness and learned to fortify my strengths at every opportunity.
What I've encountered time and time again over the years is a phenomenon that I believe I am beginning to understand. Weakness - or, vulnerability - is attractive to potential mates. Why? I am formulating a theory. I believe being weak means "needing" someone. When another person feels that you "need" them, they feel secure in your commitment to care for them, love them, nurture them, etc.
Several relationships have ended for me soon after a partner attempted to get a display of pain or hurt or emotional breakdown from me with tactics. Instead, what they were met with was resolve. Plain and simple. When push comes to shove I am a fighter. I don't do weakness. That is not to say I don't want to be in a relationship, because I do.
Why does it seem that people NEED their partners to be WEAK for them?
Life hardens us. There is no doubt about that. Some of us just get there sooner rather than later in life. My life put me in situations from a very early age where I was victimized on account of being weak. This weakness takes many forms: being young and naive, being young and small, being honest and trusting, being sheltered and gentle. I know not all of these things can be characterized as "weak", but to some extent, having those traits does predispose a person to being taken advantage of. So for the purpose of this post, I will use the term weakness synonymously with vulnerable. Ok, enough of the rambling and qualifying.
Life hardened me. I was victimized in a wide array of ways on a multitude of occasions in my younger years. I came to loathe weakness and learned to fortify my strengths at every opportunity.
What I've encountered time and time again over the years is a phenomenon that I believe I am beginning to understand. Weakness - or, vulnerability - is attractive to potential mates. Why? I am formulating a theory. I believe being weak means "needing" someone. When another person feels that you "need" them, they feel secure in your commitment to care for them, love them, nurture them, etc.
Several relationships have ended for me soon after a partner attempted to get a display of pain or hurt or emotional breakdown from me with tactics. Instead, what they were met with was resolve. Plain and simple. When push comes to shove I am a fighter. I don't do weakness. That is not to say I don't want to be in a relationship, because I do.
Why does it seem that people NEED their partners to be WEAK for them?