Weakness and Relationships

[el Jay]

This feels like some kind of enigmatic thread where we have to keep guessing until we finally understand what the OP means.

You feel as if partners test your boundaries to see what they can get a way with? And the partners you attract seem to be especially inclined to test boundaries? eg. making you jealous? even harass or bully you? then you refuse to "take the bait"...ie. react to said teasing/harassment. If so, I think that is a smart move in a way. Don't get sucked into the drama(s).

I think I attract certain types of "boundary testers"...or even bullies because my confidence is variable and by boundaries are blurry. My current theory is I attract bully types who love and expect confident, "black and white' leadership with strong opinions. My opinions are often hedged ie. each way bets. "if you look at it this way".." on the other hand if you look at it this way"...I'm thinking some women especially don't like this hesitant kind of personality. Just current theory mind you.

I think a lot of people prod and poke at the weaknesses they perceive in others, not out of malice, but because that's what they learned to do, from interactions with other people (especially friends and family). Even I do it, and I usually tend to hate that sort of thing due to having been bullied.

Of course, a certain degree of good-natured teasing and poking is almost universally expected in our society, it seems. So one would have to allow SOME amount of it. The key seems to be setting a boundary yourself and informing others when they cross it. Explain it if need be. If they respect that, great. If they don't respect that, and especially if they counter with something like "Don't be a wimp!", then they may not be worth having as a friend, and certainly not a lover.

The same goes for people with a penchant for creating drama. If someone does it to an extent that you cannot stand, chances are you're not compatible with that person, whether romantically, or even as a friend.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

I believe everyone has weaknesses. Even myself but I accepted things about myself. Example. I know I'm emotional but I don't mope around as much as I used too. I've accepted that I can get a tad emotional sometimes and sensitive. It's who I am. Others gotten mad cause I'm laid back, they think I'm just being lazy but I'm not. If my flaws always get brought up though, I get worked up. I'm a very accepting of others. We all have flaws, were only human right?

 

[Misanthrope23]

I don't think showing weakness makes one less or more attractive, I think its more of a question of what kind of weakness it is and it depends on the kind of people involved.

For example, some women might be turned off by a guy who is needy/clingy which they might consider to be a weakness, but at the same time, some women might find comfort in being needed.

In general though, I think its safe to say that at some point in any relationship, it is expected of each other to express vulnerability so that a deeper bond can be formed

i agree!!

 

[Gutted]

I guess it's all to do with emotions. You want your partner to feel something right?

 

[mountainvista]

Some people do indeed seek to test the weaknesses in others in their life, I think it's because they are the weak ones.

Others accept that their partner has weaknesses, but accepts them nonetheless.

Only a total fool acts as though he has no weakness. Even Superman had his Kryptonite.