What are you thinking right now?

[MisterLonely]

Tired of always being on my own.

 

[Agent Cooper]

I am fairly certain I did hurt her and its freaked her out, and that upsets me.  Ive never had anyone look at me like they could be scared before, and I dont want that to happen again.

Seems like a big misunderstanding of intent to me. I have no idea whether things can be alright again for the two of you.

Just for a thought; girls/women live in a World, where they often have to look over their shoulders, just to check whether they are safe or not (usually from guys). Both physically and emotionally. It is a state of mind, that many guys just have no concept of at all and couldn't imagine living in it themselves. So, if a girl feels assaulted (even though that was never the intent, hence the misunderstanding), she might just not feel safe around you anymore, however unjustified that can be for you.

I hope you get the chance to talk with her and straighten things out.

 

[MisterLonely]

I am fairly certain I did hurt her and its freaked her out, and that upsets me.  Ive never had anyone look at me like they could be scared before, and I dont want that to happen again.

Seems like a big misunderstanding of intent to me. I have no idea whether things can be alright again for the two of you.

Just for a thought; girls/women live in a World, where they often have to look over their shoulders, just to check whether they are safe or not (usually from guys). Both physically and emotionally. It is a state of mind, that many guys just have no concept of at all and couldn't imagine living in it themselves. So, if a girl feels assaulted (even though that was never the intent, hence the misunderstanding), she might just not feel safe around you anymore, however unjustified that can be for you.

I hope you get the chance to talk with her and straighten things out.

This is all true, but most people forget the opposite is true as well; boys/men live in a world, where they are constantly watched as if they are predators or have malicious intent, while this is untrue for the vast majority of them, they often feel judged without cause or keep second guessing themselves as to why a person (usually female) reacted a certain way. It is a state of mind many women just have no concept of at all and couldn't imagine living in themselves.

We live in a society where;
one side is "right to be scared", cause men are all beasts and they all are out to get you!
And the other side needs to "stop being such a ***** and grow a pair" cause you're a man aren't you!

(In no way an attempt to nullify Agent Cooper's made point.)

 

[M_also_lonely]

Is it rude to receive a gift and not give something in return, if the event is a festival/event that both the giver and the receiver can celebrate?

 

[MisterLonely]

Is it rude to receive a gift and not give something in return, if the event is a festival/event that both the giver and the receiver can celebrate?

If we only gave because we got something back giving would be a selfish act, we give because we want to, not to receive something in return.

If it's a custom to exchange gifts at this festival/event, then yes it's rude if you knew this person was going to give you something and you didn't get them anything.

 

[zibafu]

If we were horsing around and I accidentally really hurt you would you pretend go be fine, wait until I leave, then start crying and telling everyone how badly you were hurt? 

Then would you start acting weird and scared and distant all without a single actual word of communication between us?

This situation plus the whole situation before together tell me that she is... crazy. Not worth it. The mixed signals from before? That confused guilty, hurt, vulnerable feeling you're feeling right now? She's enjoying making you feel this way. There is a type of woman that just loves that ****. You say she doesn't do drama but her actions are telling me she loves the drama and emotional turmoil.  

It's interesting how none of this is between just you and her. Your coworkers seem to be in on every part of your guys whole business. Which one of you is responsible for that?

You might know the situation better than me but as a one-sided observer this is what it looks like to me.

Personally no, but I have seen people in the past, act fine around a person they are upset with, only to let it out afterwards.  Both men and women do this.  And you're right about how its interesting that my coworkers seem to know whats going on, I dont want to start playing a blame game on that stuff, chances are we have both been responsible somehow.

Yeah, I kinda think you've dodged a bullet as well to be honest.

Might be.

^So she initiated the mock wrestling/physical exchange, got upset after you left, which gave you no opportunity to apologize, then promptly brought it up with management the following day...

It sounds like she might be trying to get you fired.  Probably to do with you asking her out earlier:  she doesn't want you around and invented this drama to  get you out the place or at least reprimanded. That's my interpretation anyway. Needless to say,  keep things professional from now on. Attempts to try and put things right will be used against you.

I dont think she wants to get me fired, she knew I liked her a couple of weeks before I asked her out, after I asked her out she was talking to me on facebook messenger about not wanting to date and be good friends etc.  I mean if she wanted to get me fired, she couldve just claimed sexual harrasment when I asked her out.  So I doubt thats the issue.

I am fairly certain I did hurt her and its freaked her out, and that upsets me.  Ive never had anyone look at me like they could be scared before, and I dont want that to happen again.

Seems like a big misunderstanding of intent to me. I have no idea whether things can be alright again for the two of you.

Just for a thought; girls/women live in a World, where they often have to look over their shoulders, just to check whether they are safe or not (usually from guys). Both physically and emotionally. It is a state of mind, that many guys just have no concept of at all and couldn't imagine living in it themselves. So, if a girl feels assaulted (even though that was never the intent, hence the misunderstanding), she might just not feel safe around you anymore, however unjustified that can be for you.

I hope you get the chance to talk with her and straighten things out.

I hope this is the case and I can sort it out

Is it rude to receive a gift and not give something in return, if the event is a festival/event that both the giver and the receiver can celebrate?

No, you can always give something in return to show you're appreciation if you want.

My best friend came up from london to manchester to see family this weekend, and I saw her today, not seen her for ages, shes been having a **** time lately due to breaking up with her husband, so I bought her and her kids some stuff for christmas, normally she tells me not to get them anything, but if what I got them puts a smile on their faces on christmas day, then thats worth it.  Thats what giving presents is meant to be about, not receiving a present in return, but seeing happiness on the receivers face. 

So its definitely not rude at all

I honestly think these days people forget what gifting presents is meant to be about.  How many of us ask the other person what they want for christmas/birthdays etc.  Theres meant to be an element of surprise to it.

 

[Erasercrumbs]

There's always a ton of leftover veggies but never enough leftover shells 'n cheese.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Yeah, sure... She wasn't particularly good from the get-go. But, sure, she loved it, having a joke of a career with them.

 

[evanescencefan912]

10 years ago this week, I originally signed up for this site

 

[ardour]

^So she initiated the mock wrestling/physical exchange, got upset after you left, which gave you no opportunity to apologize, then promptly brought it up with management the following day...

It sounds like she might be trying to get you fired.  Probably to do with you asking her out earlier:  she doesn't want you around and invented this drama to  get you out the place or at least reprimanded. That's my interpretation anyway. Needless to say,  keep things professional from now on. Attempts to try and put things right will be used against you.

I dont think she wants to get me fired, she knew I liked her a couple of weeks before I asked her out, after I asked her out she was talking to me on facebook messenger about not wanting to date and be good friends etc.  I mean if she wanted to get me fired, she couldve just claimed sexual harrasment when I asked her out.  So I doubt thats the issue.

Why would she immediately bring it up with the manager then. Doesn't seem suspicious to you?  There would have been no grounds for a complaint if you just asked her out once. As for the facebook message... I'm not sure that means anything.

 

[EveWasFramed]

10 years ago this week, I originally signed up for this site

Wow!!

I think I originally signed up around August of 2008, left for 3 or 4 months and came back. 

You win! 

 

[Paraiyar]

Well my first game of D & D ever went way better than I would have imagined and I was DM...

 

[Amelia]

It's funny how when you're younger, you desperately wish for more friends but then you get older and you find most people tiresome.

Why not both.

As in wish for more friends who are tiresome?

 

[Volt]

As in wish for more friends who are tiresome?

Wish for more friends, but also get tired of people at the same time.

 

[Amelia]

As in wish for more friends who are tiresome?

Wish for more friends, but also get tired of people at the same time.

Oh yes. A perpetual problem :/

 

[zibafu]

Why would she immediately bring it up with the manager then. Doesn't seem suspicious to you?  There would have been no grounds for a complaint if you just asked her out once. As for the facebook message... I'm not sure that means anything.

Oh right, I wasnt clear, from what my manager told me on friday, after I left, she was crying, one person stayed with her, whilst another fetched said manager, then she told him what happened, so she didnt like seek him out to make a complaint, someone else brought him to her whilst she was crying.


Sorry, if I havent been clear enough, but my heads gone west from this.

 

[MisterLonely]

Fresh crisp pecan nuts are the best, chewy stale ones are horrible!

 

[Volt]

Fresh crisp pecan nuts are the best, chewy stale ones are horrible!

To be fair, fresh anything is better than a stale counterpart.

 

[reynard_muldrake]

I think I'm ready to try socializing again.

 

[ardour]

Why would she immediately bring it up with the manager then. Doesn't seem suspicious to you?  There would have been no grounds for a complaint if you just asked her out once. As for the facebook message... I'm not sure that means anything.

Oh right, I wasnt clear, from what my manager told me on friday, after I left, she was crying, one person stayed with her, whilst another fetched said manager, then she told him what happened, so she didnt like seek him out to make a complaint, someone else brought him to her whilst she was crying.


Sorry, if I havent been clear enough, but my heads gone west from this.

...crying so people would notice. She would have had to have been seriously hurt to warrant that reaction. Still seems suspect.