What are you thinking right now?

[Finished]

I'm sure glad this day is almost over!!!!! 
It'll be great to close my eyes and die even if it's just for one night.

This day has really sucked! Customer service is almost completed dead. Today was shopping day. It's been about 1.5 weeks since I left my place. I wish it could be more. I slowly got to the front of the line at two places only to be treated like ****. 

So, I told the cashiers to F themselves, left the stuff on the counter, and walked out. I SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH more prefer places that use self check out. Thank you for that Walmart! I can easily ignore the computer telling me to "please place the last item in the bagging area" even though I did and I'm already on the next item instead of having some idiot telling me the items I'm trying to buy won't work, being rude about it, and arguing with me. 

Just shut the hell up and ring up the damn stuff! BTW, one place was Ace Hardware. I won't be back there for a long time. Then I went to Home Depot for a third negative experience looking for a 12' coax cable. I told two associates that I couldn't find any short lengths over in their TV section on the next isle over. They looked at me like I asked for a triple ground diamond reverse pattern cut off blade. I just shook my head and left the store as they continued talking about their personal lives. It'll be nice when there are no people inside the stores. Actually just let retail cease to exist.

That goodness for Ebay. It's quick and simple. Sure you have to wait a week or so to get an item and you get screwed sometimes but it's worth not having to deal with all the idiots in the retail stores.

Then I had to deal with motor vehicle. I worked my way up to some manager only to get excuses instead of solutions. Then the person tried to pacify me for the original person's rudeness. Ummm, how about just the truth???? Nope! It's too difficult to use that nowadays. You must always defend your position no matter how wrong it is. If it's obviously wrong defend it even more.

It's no wonder so many people take drugs. They are kind of a requirement to function in today's society. Marijuana is legal in many states now. It probably wont be too long before crack is legalized as well.

 

[priscella]

That posting says it all and what a terrific post--made me really laugh as it got further and further into  the activities of your day. Poor finished tomorrow will be a better day. Everything is so very true for I have experienced exactly as you say but it took me months to where it took you "one day"--terrible---Have a real nice dream sleep tonight and eat something special too...Thanks for the great laugh and the true feeling about how the world is working now. Yea just leave the stores there and have people check out themselves and ask a computer for help as well.  Sleep well forum friend sleep well....

 

[Finished]

Ha! ha! I slept well last night and am laughing about my post. I try to plan out everything in one day sessions so as not to ruin all the other days. I shouldn't have to leave my place for another week and a half or so. So, I'm happy about that. Ha! ha!

 

[ahsatan]

I wish it was time for bed

 

[priscella]

Yea snuggle next to that cute little kitten---go back to bed--sweet dreams..Some days are like that--...

 

[Serenia]

One of the hard things of being alone, is when doing something I find emotionally difficult not having someone close to you to talk it through. To be by your side while you do it, too help you rationalise any fears.

 

[TheSkaFish]

My 3-mile time is improving. My last, and best time was 27:34, which is slightly above average for my age group. And while I look better than I did last summer, I'm not slimming down fast enough to be satisfied. At that rate I'm only burning ~1/2 a pound a week at best.

I guess I just have to remember that my situation didn't get this bad in a day, so it won't get fixed overnight. I just wish it would go faster, though.

---

What the hell am I doing....back to work.

 

[Finished]

^ Good job!

I'm thinking that politicians are the cancer of our society and should be eradicated

 

[TheSkaFish]

^ Good job!

I'm thinking that politicians are the cancer of our society and should be eradicated

Thanks, I'll see what I can do tomorrow.

As for politicians, eh...I've gotten to the point where I feel like I've seen it all before. These days it seems to be all about outrage stuff in the media - omg he said this! she said that! It's between one rich guy that doesn't care about you, and another rich guy which also doesn't care about you, but just says they do a little bit more. It's all the same and we're on our own. Most of the opinions I developed were really just thought habits. I'm trying to fix my mind and find myself a little by de-investing and unplugging from the outrage machine.

 

[ladyforsaken]

That spot that has been a pain in my upper back is seriously getting on my nerves. Literally too.

 

[MissBehave]

I just want to go home, get under the cover and hide.

 

[Finished]

^ Good job!

I'm thinking that politicians are the cancer of our society and should be eradicated

Thanks, I'll see what I can do tomorrow.

Ha! ha! Perfect!

I'm trying to fix my mind and find myself a little by de-investing and unplugging from the outrage machine.

Smart! It's not like we can change anything. It's better to focus on ourselves because we can control that at least so some degree.

 

[ahsatan]

My cat sleeps so easily. I wish i could

 

[MissBehave]

Your speak nonsense. Like a machine gun fire of pompous words, they are without any meaning other than to validate yourself.

 

[Assimilate]

^ Good job!

I'm thinking that politicians are the cancer of our society and should be eradicated

Thanks, I'll see what I can do tomorrow.

As for politicians, eh...I've gotten to the point where I feel like I've seen it all before.  These days it seems to be all about outrage stuff in the media - omg he said this!  she said that!  It's between one rich guy that doesn't care about you, and another rich guy which also doesn't care about you, but just says they do a little bit more.  It's all the same and we're on our own.  Most of the opinions I developed were really just thought habits.  I'm trying to fix my mind and find myself a little by de-investing and unplugging from the outrage machine.

I believe it was Marx who once wrote something like "religion is the opium of the masses". Turns out that their drug of choice is actually outrage. 

 

[user 130057]

OK, women are magic... how on Earth out of all the possibilities did she guess this? She might still go the wrong way and I can stop thinking I am having my mind read...

 

[TheSkaFish]

This is a rant.  It's what I need right now.

Welp, that was fast.....

Oh, to have the ability to just decide to be in a relationship because you want to, to always get your pick without having to do anything more than just ask, and then just like that, BAM, it's done.   I can't even imagine what it's like to actually have the power of choice to live like that, to just not have attraction problems.  Being able to get a relationship with anyone you want, when you feel like it.

Not only that but it's REALLY hard to get to know someone who seems to never be single for longer than a few months at a time.   It takes me that long just to try and think of something or learn something to try to become interesting enough.  I'd never have enough time to build myself up enough.  I have two problems - I don't know what the right material is to be interesting enough, AND i don't know how to say it in the right way to create the right mood.

I have half a mind to just say **** it to the idea of dating anyone attractive.  Any time I've tried, it's been a total ******* failure, even if I have common interests and curiosities and appreciation and seeking similar things, even if we're in agreement on some things, even if I have a genuine desire to learn about the person and get to know them, a real interest in the person beyond looks.  I'm never good enough, I just don't have enough or any natural advantages to be able to compete.  You have to have so much going for you, you have to say everything smoothly, and you have to act ******* fast.  All of that is very hard for me. Maybe even impossible, cause maybe you just have to be born the right kind of person, and it's just not me.

I don't even know what I should have, or even could have, done differently to get a different result.  Just been born a different person in the first place with a different personality and a different mind who could live a more exotic, reckless, macho meathead life.  I could never be that, no matter how many weights I lift.  Cause I just don't have it in me.  I'm 0% redneck/thug/street person.  I don't think that way at all.  I don't see the world the way they do.  I don't have those kinds of instincts and experiences that influence you to be that person.  I'm sure I could get bigger, but I'm too careful with my life.  I don't have an impulse to be reckless, to take risks, to destroy, to pick fights, to start ****.  I'm too sensitive, I don't have the killer instinct or the "**** you" attitude.  I'm not a predator.  And I'm too cautious and inhibited and more than that, relaxed.  I just don't NEED to be wild and crazy and hostile.  I don't have the most intelligence or sense in the world, but I have too much sense to live recklessly, and I guess it's biting me in the ass with women, big time. The raw rugged man that seems to be the winning type of guy, that people think is interesting and exotic, high adrenaline because he is a reckless risk taker that lives in the moment but may live to regret it in the future, is just something I can never be.

Sometimes I think that maybe I SHOULD just start doing stupid ****, acting out.  I mean, playing it safe, trying to be smart, wise, a good decision maker, hasn't worked.  It just gets me seen as boring.  Being reckless and antagonistic is what works, it's what's in demand whether I like it or not.  Maybe I should take up the philosophy that nothing matters, **** everything, everything is ******** except power and thrills and whatever can get me more.  Power and thrills are the means and the ends.  Just become a nihilist with a total "**** you" attitude that only cares about getting my rocks off, whether it's sex, booze, destruction, fights, etc.  Any chance for a thrill that comes my way, I should take it, and to hell with the consequences or the future because only weak, scared, incompetent, lame people care about that, and besides nothing will happen to me because I'M THE BEST.  Maybe then my attraction problems will go away, because I'll be seen as "where the party is".  Sometimes I think I should do the opposite of what I've tried to do with my life, what I was taught, background, all of it.  Actually become the kind of guy I don't like, and dial it up to 11.  But I know i'm not competent and quick-witted enough to be good at being the bad guy.  I'm not strong and cunning enough and having enough streetwise knowledge and instincts to be a thug, I know that.  And I'm not smart enough to be a Wall Street kind of guy and loot the world.  I don't have any strong suits anywhere.  You can't be good at being bad if you aren't good at anything, because in order to be bad effectively you need power, and in order to be good at something you need power.   I think that's the core of my problems.

I'm starting to feel like trying to figure out how to date an attractive woman isn't worth all the stress, anger, frustration, and despair it's causing me, these feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness, having to compete against a sea of swinging dicks, a lot of whom have more natural competitive advantages than I have - not the least of which is being stronger and more willing to be reckless with their lives, because they are stronger so therefore risks to them are less risky - when I've never had a knack for anything ever.  Maybe attractive women just aren't for me, and I should swear them off.  It's not like there's ever been any indication that they really are for me.  Just like expensive cars....they're shiny and gorgeous, but they are for someone else who was born a different kind of person than me in the first place.  Maybe dating someone I'm not crazy about physically, and requiring less to impress them and have less competition to worry about will give me less thrills but more peace of mind. I wouldn't really be happy, but there would be no pressure.  I won't have to worry about stressing myself out busting my ass to brainstorm things to try to be interesting.   I could just do whatever, more effort than I usually do but I wouldn't have to stress out, and maybe it would be good enough.  I don't know anymore.

 

[Finished]

^ Yeeeeeppppppp.

It helps to NOT be boring. The nicer you are the worst it'll be for you. That's why bad boy loosers do well. The more outgoing the better. Target a beached whale and act like she's the ****. You absolutely have to have her or you will die. Always be there. Keep asking her out. Eventually it'll work. After you bang a few weights you'll have female stickem on you. Then you can target hotter ones with that and your new found confidence. Remember, women want what other women have. But, it is nearly impossible to be a prick when you've been trained to be nice and responsible your entire life.

 

[priscella]

I think both of you have two much hate in your life with a lot of jealous attitudes towards other men then you have total disrespect for the woman that fall in love with them. You are losing both ways. Look at the men out there who have successful relationships especially if they are married. Their lives look happy and fulfilled and they are both working at it real hard bringing in food and money for the children and to create a good environment for themselves. They are not saying me me me ---and they bring happiness to their mate. If she hates driving--you drive..If she hates cooking--you cook...If she hates children then don;t have any--whatever she dislikes you fill in the void and stop complaining about "nothing" and your cup will run over..Females have instincts that men have not learn"d to use and they want to be cared about and pampered so do the job and care about them but with no interest in any of "treasures" that it might bring to yourself..Have a disinterested look at it and make them feel beautiful instead of just a thing to have and use....Oh Brother what immature "brats" you are....lol priscella.

 

[ahsatan]

I think both of you have two much hate in your life with a lot of jealous attitudes towards other men then you have total disrespect for the woman that fall in love with them. You are losing both ways. Look at the men out there who have successful relationships especially if they are married. Their lives look happy and fulfilled and they are both working at it real hard bringing in food and money for the children and to create a good environment for themselves. They are not saying me me me ---and they bring happiness to their mate. If she hates driving--you drive..If she hates cooking--you cook...If she hates children then don;t have any--whatever she dislikes you fill in the void and stop complaining about "nothing" and your cup will run over..Females have instincts that men have not learn"d to use and they want to be cared about and pampered so do the job and care about them but with no interest in any of "treasures" that it might bring to yourself..Have a disinterested look at it and make them feel beautiful instead of just a thing to have and use....Oh Brother what immature "brats" you are....lol priscella.

Well said