What is the cure? When even in a room full of people you still feel lonely?
You need a connection with someone to not feel lonely. But you will have difficulty making a connection if you are too judgmental (of yourself or of others) or jumping to conclusions about everything. You have to have an open mind and be willing to SEE someone, not as what you think they are at first appearance, but who they actually are.
I've not been on here long, but most people on here seem fine and dandy. They have plenty of friends and talk about their fantastic social life. One guy even said he hires escorts. Which begs the question, why. Are some that are obviously not lonely, on a forum for lonely peoples. I think I am the only genuine lonely person on here that was looking for a genuine connection. All I have found are people promoting their business.
Sorry, but how is it that you are the one that gets to decide who is and isn't okay? The one thing I really dislike that happens here is when people come in and say that someone doesn't have a right to be here because they aren't lonely or depressed or their life is perfect or any other of the nonsense that people have said over the years. There are people here who have never had a significant other or even a date or a kiss. There are some people here who are on the edge of the cliff looking for anyone or anything to pull them back. And some of those people I mentioned go around and play the games and joke around with the other people here. Some are angry and lash out at others. Some troll people. We have a wide variety of people here, but one thing I can tell you for a fact is that you don't know any of these people yet. Whether you do get to know some of us better is entirely on you. On how you respond to people, on how you interact with us, how you talk to us. I'm not saying you've done anything wrong or are a lost cause, because you aren't.
When I first got here, I was an entirely different person than I am now. I'm not going to go into details because I refuse to post a lot of my life on public forum because of various reasons. But I came here and I made connections, I made many friends here, some are still here, some are left and I still talk to them. I stay because this place and the people here are part of what saved my life.
It's not a competition about who is lonelier or more depression. It's not even about being lonely all the time. I'm content with my life, but I still get lonely sometimes. Doesn't happen often and it doesn't last long, but it still happens. Here's the thing people don't like to admit....every single person on this planet gets lonely or depressed or anxious. Even if it's only for a fleeting moment, it happens to everyone. That means that literally every single person on this planet is welcome here.
You may feel you have it worse than everyone else here, but you don't know that and it's irrelevant because we are all here for a reason. You can see the surface only, not what's hiding in the dark recesses of their brain that they might be trying so damn hard to hide from people. You only know yourself, you only know what's in your own mind. You don't know what's hiding in other people's minds, so be careful not to judge and alienate people with assumptions.
.I seem to have acquired a bully that has been able to turn everyone against me in my life. Blowing a bad situation into a very extreme close to slanderous arbitration of my character. I am not lonely through choice it was another's power, I am not in control and most people's advice consists of get a job, get a hobby, and even get a life sometimes.
Here's the thing with this....if people genuinely cared about you, people couldn't turn them against you. Those people don't deserve to have you in their lives if they can so easily be made to leave you. I've been there. I've lost people that I thought would always have my back, I've lost my best friend, I've lost several people that I love. All because of things someone else said to them. Only one person actually came to me to find out if what was said to them was actually true because he didn't think it made sense. And yes, it did hurt. But then I realized that I deserve better. I deserve people in my life that WILL have my back, people who can't be scared away.....and so do you.
You say you're not in control, but that's not entirely accurate. People can say things all day long, people can spread rumors about you and some people will definitely believe them, most people might actually believe them, but not everyone. The world is a big place and whoever your bullies are can't reach every person and every person is not going to care what some ******* says about you.
Getting a job, a hobby and/or a life is actually good advice. I know most people hate hearing that one, but it's true. And it's not even just about being around people. It's also about getting you out. If you stay inside and wallow in your self pity all day every day, you will get worse. That's just a fact. Getting out, getting some exercise (even if it's just walking around), meeting new people, talking to people will all help you fight your depression, which will give you more confidence and the ability to take back control of your life. You can't control what other people do, but you can control how you react to it.
You can be a victim or you can say **** that and find a way to show your bullies that they don't have power over you. By being where you are now, by being a victim and surrendering to that you are giving them power over you, you are passing the control to them. Take it back. And no, it's not easy, it will probably be very very difficult, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be done.
There are people out there who will love you for who you are, but you have to find them.
As for here, ignore the people you don't like and focus on the people you think you might be able to get along with. But like I said before, don't be so quick to jump to conclusions or assumptions. You just got here, so you don't really know any of us or what we have gone through or why we are here. Get to know people before you form conclusions about them.
