What did I miss?

[Ennui]

It seems to me that everyone has had a girlfriend at some point.
Having a girlfriend seems very far fetched, it's something very abstract to me.

It's like I belong to another society were relationships doesn't exist, and I'm standing on the other side watching that other society were relationships is a part of peoples daily routine.

People have been telling me that they're surprised that I haven't had a girlfriend because apparently I am intelligent, nice, cute, creative and funny.
If that's true, then what went wrong?
Well I guess that the fact that I am pretty introverted and don't go out much could be part of the problem. And that I'm not really desperate for a woman to call my own.
But it would still be nice to have someone to be vulnerable with.

So tell me people, what do everyone know that I don't? What did I miss?

 

[QuietGuy]

It's like I belong to another society were relationships doesn't exist, and I'm standing on the other side watching that other society were relationships is a part of peoples daily routine.

I know that feeling very well.

So tell me people, what do everyone know that I don't? What did I miss?

Check out this thread, where people are discussing the same question.

 

[sadface]

when you figure out, let me know.

 

[Sean]

I don't think you've missed anything.
I'm most of the things people have described you as . . . and I don't have a girlfriend.

Like you, it's not because I can't get one, it's cause being in a relationship is low on my list of priorities (right now) in life.

 

[Ennui]

I don't think you've missed anything.
I'm most of the things people have described you as . . . and I don't have a girlfriend.

Like you, it's not because I can't get one, it's cause being in a relationship is low on my list of priorities (right now) in life.

Well I guess that could be true, that I don't prioritize it's enough. And well, I won't prioritize it more just to get a girlfriend.

However, do these "people" with girlfriends prioritize it that much? Do they spend all their awake time trying to find one? Is that how they do it?

 

[Yukhi]

Well I guess that could be true, that I don't prioritize it's enough. And well, I won't prioritize it more just to get a girlfriend.

However, do these "people" with girlfriends prioritize it that much? Do they spend all their awake time trying to find one? Is that how they do it?

It depends really. Some people will just one day spot someone they like and go for the opportunity. They never really at first planned that for a long time. In other cases people begin as friends first and then their feelings develop. It's different for everyone. There are probably like a million circumstances that can call people to be together. Some may have great priority in finding a girlfriend and as you said are super desperate to get one but others don't really care and just go on with their lives until they meet the right person.

 

[freedom]

i can relate to you. i've also been told i'm quite the stud, quite funny, and quite intellergent... i mean intelligent, lol. i might also add quite talented. i've had three girlfriends in my life, but i've been single now for almost four years, and in these last four years i've also felt like some kind of alien from a different world where love, romance, affection, and companionship don't exist. i've slowly been isolating myself, and as a human being, it's not something that i actually want. we all want to be loved. we're not robots here.

i'm also introverted. a right-side-of-the-brain-using, loads-of-tv-watching, book-after-book-reading, internet-loving-and-exploring, poem-and-song-writing, social-get-together-evading, loud-and-noisy-trick-hating, meaning-of-life-seeking, depression-and-suicide-surviving, between-the-lines-reading, lonely-since-kindergarten, do-it-all-by-myself-cause-i'm-a-gangsta' introvert. these qualities make it hard for me to meet women. when i do meet women, it's hard to pick one that i like. when i pick one that i like, it seems like she's always either married, a lesbian, she's dying, or of course, she doesn't like me back. nonetheless, i don't place a high premium on being in a relationship. i just want some love and affection. it's tough going without love or affection.

anyway, i kind of rambled on here, but to answer your question, you haven't really missed anything. there's nothing to miss. really. i looked at your profile, and according to it, you're only 18 years old. you're still a teenager! it's not like you're 60 years old and never been in a relationship. then i'd say you've missed quite a lot. you seem like a regular guy to me. all your schoolfriends that have been in relationships are too young and inexperienced to know what a meaninful relationship is. it's all worthless propoganda, my brother. they might brag and all that their girlfriends are hot, and that makes you want to have a hot girlfriend too. for what? why waste your time? you're young and single, so why don't you focus on what you want to study or do in life? that's what i did. i'm only a few years older than you, and i'm well on my way to fulfilling my dreams. i hope this really helps.

 

[Ennui]

anyway, i kind of rambled on here, but to answer your question, you haven't really missed anything. there's nothing to miss. really. i looked at your profile, and according to it, you're only 18 years old. you're still a teenager! it's not like you're 60 years old and never been in a relationship. then i'd say you've missed quite a lot. you seem like a regular guy to me. all your schoolfriends that have been in relationships are too young and inexperienced to know what a meaninful relationship is. it's all worthless propoganda, my brother. they might brag and all that their girlfriends are hot, and that makes you want to have a hot girlfriend too. for what? why waste your time? you're young and single, so why don't you focus on what you want to study or do in life? that's what i did. i'm only a few years older than you, and i'm well on my way to fulfilling my dreams. i hope this really helps.

It's not that all my friends have "hot" girlfriends and that I'm jealous of them or anything (most of my friends are typical WOW nerds any ways).
And I know perfectly well what I'm looking for in a relationship.
I am looking for someone that I can relate to, someone that understands me and have understanding for things that I tend to do.
Someone to be weak with and share things with. An ally who I'm physically attracted to.

And I know what I want to do with my life, I just want someone to accompany me on the way, someone that can support me.
This is my ideal relationship.

And ofcourse I would do the same for her.
No matter.

Maybe others relationships are built sorely upon physical attractiveness.
It's just that it seems like getting a girlfriend is no bigger deal than going to the store for some.

Another thing that I've been wondering about is that my stepbrother seems to have spent more time in relationships than single. And the ones that I've met seemed really sweet and kind, not cheap in anyway.

Although this might be a bad example as he is 8 years older than me, but I wonder how the **** he found them.

 

[iBreathe]

It seems to me that everyone has had a girlfriend at some point.

I've never had a girlfriend.... *cries*
J/k =)
No, seriously... I've never had a g/f, but I think maybe sometimes it's a little overrated. Depending on your age, ofc.

If you're like 14 and never had one, then you have plenty of time... if you're 40 and never had one, well... that might be a small problem, but one that can be fixed. =)

 

[VanillaCreme]

You didn't miss anything. Everyone is different.

 

[MiyuZen]

I don't think you need to be in a relationship to be complete, it's just something society creates and makes us feel like we need to be a part of and if we're not we feel some kind of social exclusion, I do too. On the point of being introverted - As I mentioned in another thread I am in love with an introvert and he doesn't want a relationship, it's not something important to him in life right now he has other things going for him and he appreciates other in relationships but it's not what he wants, but what's important here is that he is happy not being in one and I respect that. So you haven't missed anything.

 

[Asterli]

You are who you are. If you're hanging on two thoughts being not your first priority and it would be nice to have someone maybe you have to choose. Do I stay alone or do I try my best to get a girlfriend. I can relate to this in some way. People say to me that I am a 'too' serious person and the girls want to have fun nowadays. I now don't know it anymore with woman. What are they searching for I wonder. Maybe this is question to add to your thought.

 

[Ennui]

I don't think you need to be in a relationship to be complete, it's just something society creates and makes us feel like we need to be a part of and if we're not we feel some kind of social exclusion, I do too. On the point of being introverted - As I mentioned in another thread I am in love with an introvert and he doesn't want a relationship, it's not something important to him in life right now he has other things going for him and he appreciates other in relationships but it's not what he wants, but what's important here is that he is happy not being in one and I respect that. So you haven't missed anything.

Trust me, I really don't care if my peers have girlfriends or not. And I certainly do not think that getting one will let me throw away my prescription of antidepressants.
It's not that I feel excluded from society (I couldn't care less really). It's that I want all the fun and all the support that couples seem to get by being in a relationship.
I want a relationship to help better myself, not because I want to blend in.

When I see a happy couple I get jealous. I don't get jealous because I want that particular girl, I get jealous because they're happy.

I know what I want, and why I want it.
I want to know how and where I get it, and why everyone else already seem to know all that.