What do you dislike about yourself?

TheSkaFish · Aug 17, 2023

A lot of things. Almost everything in fact. But the biggest one is that I'm not good at anything and struggle to have high quality ideas for anything, and am therefore unsuccessful and boring.

I'm starting to hate myself with more and more intensity, as I increasingly feel not good enough to fit into this world.

I wish I could have been born with genetic talent and an unconventional mind, so I could actually do something with my life and not suck at it, and be able to live with confidence, pride, self-esteem, boldness, assertiveness, and distinction.

I f***ing hate, so much, genetic predetermination.
I f***ing hate feeling like I'm inherently limited, mediocre, inferior, a loser, low status, without potential, only fit to be an audience member or a servant to someone else because I can't get good enough at anything to achieve anything for my own advancement.

I don't want to spend my life with getting drunk as the only thing I have to look forward to, or staring at screens, or living vicariously through celebrities (mainly various rock stars). I'm so bored of conversations about what this and that famous person is doing, at this point I couldn't possibly care any less. But when you're not good at anything, that's what you're left with - talking about other people's abilities, other people's ideas, other people's accomplishments, other people's lives.

I want to do things, and think of things, to have a life that actually gives me something to talk about with others, and to think about when I'm by myself. At the risk of sounding vain, I want to be successful, and I want to be interesting to others, and I want to be interesting to myself.

Sorry if it's not sunshine and roses, but this has been a recurring theme with me all my life, and something I think about more and more the older I get without any achievements to speak of. I want to break free from this so badly. But I'm afraid I just don't have the capacity to get past average at anything, if I can even do that. And it makes me disinterested in and apathetic about everything.

RiceCrispie · Aug 17, 2023

TheSkaFish said:
A lot of things. Almost everything in fact. But the biggest one is that I'm not good at anything and struggle to have high quality ideas for anything, and am therefore unsuccessful and boring.

I'm starting to hate myself with more and more intensity, as I increasingly feel not good enough to fit into this world.

I wish I could have been born with genetic talent and an unconventional mind, so I could actually do something with my life and not suck at it, and be able to live with confidence, pride, self-esteem, boldness, assertiveness, and distinction.

I f***ing hate, so much, genetic predetermination.
I f***ing hate feeling like I'm inherently limited, mediocre, inferior, a loser, low status, without potential, only fit to be an audience member or a servant to someone else because I can't get good enough at anything to achieve anything for my own advancement.

I don't want to spend my life with getting drunk as the only thing I have to look forward to, or staring at screens, or living vicariously through celebrities (mainly various rock stars). I'm so bored of conversations about what this and that famous person is doing, at this point I couldn't possibly care any less. But when you're not good at anything, that's what you're left with - talking about other people's abilities, other people's ideas, other people's accomplishments, other people's lives.

I want to have a life that actually gives me something to talk about with others, and to think about when I'm by myself.

Sorry if it's not sunshine and roses, but this has been a recurring theme with me all my life, and something I think about more and more the older I get without any achievements to speak of. I want to break free from this so badly. But I'm afraid I just don't have the capacity to get past average at anything, if I can even do that. And it makes me disinterested in and apathetic about everything.

Yeh I especially resonate with this:-

I want to have a life that actually gives me something to talk about with others, and to think about when I'm by myself.

I feel boring talking about my life too. No set skills Or accomplishments I can say I’m proud of. Plus, when u have something interesting actually going on in your life that your working toward it makes life more valuable, meaningful, rather than just relying on getting through the day twiddling your thumbs or general chit chats with others.

I have adhd and asked myself numerous times what would help me to keep me out of the boredom doom… What would i like to be actually blessed with? I only get so far with starting out then procrastinate real bad. Then I swirl into a self hate pattern…

okidoke · Aug 17, 2023

TheSkaFish said:
.......I wish I could have been born with genetic talent and an unconventional mind, so I could actually do something with my life and not suck at it, and be able to live with confidence, pride, self-esteem, boldness, assertiveness, and distinction.

I f***ing hate, so much, genetic predetermination.
I f***ing hate feeling like I'm inherently limited, mediocre, inferior, a loser, low status, without potential, only fit to be an audience member or a servant to someone else because I can't get good enough at anything to achieve anything for my own advancement..........

Are you saying you have the genes of a moron, an imbecile, a ******? C'mon man, this is ridiculous talk. If you want to be good at something, you have to practice. Some people just have to practice more, harder, longer, but if you're determined, you will succeed. Stop using such excuses as your genes; there have been people with incredible challenges that have been successful. You just want to give yourself an excuse. Stop it. There's something else holding you back, not your genes. And, maybe you're meant to be doing something you don't even realise yet. You haven't yet discovered your true potential. You don't write like you're an imbecile. You have brains. You can achieve what you want, except where others are dictating the terms in certain places, but you can still achieve the goal somewhere else. Ska, don't go on like this, using this excuse. It's rubbish. But it is a limiting factor, this mental conditioning you've created for yourself. If you truly believe that you were meant to be doing something special, something particular, then only your mindset will stop you getting there.

Claudia1794 · Aug 17, 2023

I have no control over myself when it comes to ***. It’s either don’t have *** or be a complete fool. I thought a 10 year break would’ve been enough but nope I’m back to the same old me before the break.

okidoke · Aug 17, 2023

Claudia1794 said:
I have no control over myself when it comes to ***. It’s either don’t have *** or be a complete fool. I thought a 10 year break would’ve been enough but nope I’m back to the same old me before the break.

just have to harness that energy. i wouldn't mind being a fool if it got me some sexual pleasure.