Rant.
I'm aware enough to know that it's a problem with me, but the feeling that I have no control over this situation,
with no clear path out of it except a lot of struggle and sacrifice and thinking and doing things that I just don't think and do, all for "maybe's" at best,
and all the while seeing people who knowingly and intentionally choose to be bad people, never have a problem with this at all
- it just gets to be too much and I crack.
That, or I just waste time on the internet until the feeling goes away, and I forget I even had it.
I've got to get out of this. There has to be more to life than feeling this way.