what do you do?

[user 188685]

What do you do,when the loneliness sets in?

 

[dan27]

Go volunteer at an old folks home....

 

[Sunless Sky]

Depends. Some days I just spend indoors unable to leave my house and do anything productive. I have YouTube videos playing ad nauseum to drown out the thoughts.

Other times I have the complete opposite reaction and feel an urge to get out of the house and do anything. Go see a movie or show or even just hang out at a cafe for a while.

Some of the worst days however is when I can't **** out the thoughts. Those were the times when the suicide ideation sets in.

 

[mizera]

The loneliness is with me all the time. Tomorrow I have a vet appointment and likely will put the cat to sleep. Then I will be at a new level of loneliness. Before I was ok with my cat, though he was suffering with kidney disease so it hasn't been fun for the last 18 months. So I work during the day and at night I just try to distract myself on the internet and hope to find something that entertains me. I have the TV on but there's rarely anything to watch. Whenever I find a movie or series that's good, it makes me happy because then I can just tune out. But I have so much trouble finding anything good that I haven't already seen. Last night I spent at least an hour reading online, trying to find a good series to watch. Thing is, even if I'm watching something pretty good, it still doesn't quite do the trick. The weekends, which I look forward to because I don't have to work, turn out pretty bad. I'm bored the whole weekend and keep looking at the clock to see how much of my precious free time I've wasted doing nothing good. Each week I tell myself that I'm going to change it up this weekend and try to find a way to enjoy myself and then I do nothing.

Lately I've been taking a lot of walks. I'll just go out to think and look at people and the neighborhood. It's definitely easier to think when you're outside. But a lot of the thinking revolves around what I can do about the loneliness and how life is going to be when I'm older and my mother dies, which is likely in the next ten years. I start therapy soon, so that will help. I don't think the therapist is going to help change my life, but I need someone to talk to about what I'm going through. Sometimes I think I should just be grateful for being alive, that I don't have bad health or money problems. But when I think about being alone for the rest of my days with little to do, I don't know what to think about it. The thing I care most about, and what gave me comfort, was being with my cat next to me, and tomorrow he's going away.

 

[user 188685]

The loneliness is with me all the time. Tomorrow I have a vet appointment and likely will put the cat to sleep. Then I will be at a new level of loneliness. Before I was ok with my cat, though he was suffering with kidney disease so it hasn't been fun for the last 18 months. So I work during the day and at night I just try to distract myself on the internet and hope to find something that entertains me. I have the TV on but there's rarely anything to watch. Whenever I find a movie or series that's good, it makes me happy because then I can just tune out. But I have so much trouble finding anything good that I haven't already seen. Last night I spent at least an hour reading online, trying to find a good series to watch. Thing is, even if I'm watching something pretty good, it still doesn't quite do the trick. The weekends, which I look forward to because I don't have to work, turn out pretty bad. I'm bored the whole weekend and keep looking at the clock to see how much of my precious free time I've wasted doing nothing good. Each week I tell myself that I'm going to change it up this weekend and try to find a way to enjoy myself and then I do nothing.

Lately I've been taking a lot of walks. I'll just go out to think and look at people and the neighborhood. It's definitely easier to think when you're outside. But a lot of the thinking revolves around what I can do about the loneliness and how life is going to be when I'm older and my mother dies, which is likely in the next ten years. I start therapy soon, so that will help. I don't think the therapist is going to help change my life, but I need someone to talk to about what I'm going through. Sometimes I think I should just be grateful for being alive, that I don't have bad health or money problems. But when I think about being alone for the rest of my days with little to do, I don't know what to think about it. The thing I care most about, and what gave me comfort, was being with my cat next to me, and tomorrow he's going away.

I'm so sorry

 

[Sunless Sky]

The loneliness is with me all the time. Tomorrow I have a vet appointment and likely will put the cat to sleep. Then I will be at a new level of loneliness. Before I was ok with my cat, though he was suffering with kidney disease so it hasn't been fun for the last 18 months. So I work during the day and at night I just try to distract myself on the internet and hope to find something that entertains me. I have the TV on but there's rarely anything to watch. Whenever I find a movie or series that's good, it makes me happy because then I can just tune out. But I have so much trouble finding anything good that I haven't already seen. Last night I spent at least an hour reading online, trying to find a good series to watch. Thing is, even if I'm watching something pretty good, it still doesn't quite do the trick. The weekends, which I look forward to because I don't have to work, turn out pretty bad. I'm bored the whole weekend and keep looking at the clock to see how much of my precious free time I've wasted doing nothing good. Each week I tell myself that I'm going to change it up this weekend and try to find a way to enjoy myself and then I do nothing.

Lately I've been taking a lot of walks. I'll just go out to think and look at people and the neighborhood. It's definitely easier to think when you're outside. But a lot of the thinking revolves around what I can do about the loneliness and how life is going to be when I'm older and my mother dies, which is likely in the next ten years. I start therapy soon, so that will help. I don't think the therapist is going to help change my life, but I need someone to talk to about what I'm going through. Sometimes I think I should just be grateful for being alive, that I don't have bad health or money problems. But when I think about being alone for the rest of my days with little to do, I don't know what to think about it. The thing I care most about, and what gave me comfort, was being with my cat next to me, and tomorrow he's going away.

That's so sad. I feel you on the weekend thing. I end up doing nothing too, just watching YouTube videos till I go to sleep. Just watching the time fly by.

Have you thought about, of course after you've had enough time to grieve, maybe rescuing another cat or dog? You know, start a journey with another pet?

 

[dan27]

 

[TheSkaFish]

Go for a walk.

Sometimes if I'm alone at home, I rant/swear/vent/curse my luck. I don't know if it's healthy but I get so angry at my situation/luck sometimes.

 

[ringwood]

@mizera - I'm sorry about your situation and your cat. Having had cats my whole life, I know how much love and comfort they bring into our lives and how much pain their loss brings. I hope, as someone else mentioned, that you'll eventually have room in your life again for another feline friend or pet once your grief lessens. Hugs. . .

 

[Finished]

Work on a project, watch a funny show or a movie, go for a bicycle ride.

 

[mizera]

Hello, thank you ringwood, sunless, and sunflower. I will miss my cat. I love him. In time I'll look to get another one. My experience has shown me that animals can really help with loneliness. I really didn't mind being along all this time. While I'm not always in the mood to talk, it's not how I like to exist. I do need some human contact. Probably everyone does. Just walking the streets last night, looking at all the people eating outside together, I wondered to myself if I'd ever again sit in a restaurant with people. It's such a common thing, going out to eat. But it occurred to me that it's quite possible that I may never have someone to go out to eat with.

 

[Blue Bob]

What do you do, when the loneliness sets in?
That’s a good question.
I think I will mostly reminisce and look at old photos and think about people I’ve known.
Sometimes I’ll walk around my house and look at all the work I’ve done and the things I’ve made. Then I get motivated to continue with a current project, or I think of new things to do.
Another thing I’ll often do is listen to music I like, or search for music that’s new to me.
There’s a number of things I’ll do to combat loneliness, but I think learning something new is the best cure.

 

[Searcher]

What do you do,when the loneliness sets in?

watch this

 

[LeeG]

I spend most of the time when I'm not working just reading or binge watching netflix and other streaming services, I literally feel completely alone in the world.

 

[Minus]

Tomorrow

I hope you are doing okay.

 

[LeeG]

@mizera I know exactly how you feel, I identify with the weekend thing and find myself to looking forward to Monday so I can work and talk to people about work, even though I work at home and never see anyone in person. Other people seem to live for the weekends. And the restaurant thing, I hooked up with an old friend I hadn't seen in 30 days year on facebook (i am desperate for human attention). I found out she was a hoarder when I saw her house, you can't even get in the door without stepping over mountains of crap and garbage. That didn't bother me at all, I accepted her for how she was and did not judge her for it, I try to never judge anyone. Anyway one thing we always did was go out to restaurants to eat, I paid every single time, and I didn't bother me we never anywhere expensive, we would go to small local places and sometimes like waffle or cracker barrel, I knew I would be paying and for me it was worth it to sit down and eat and have someone to talk to. I sometimes felt like maybe once out of the 150 times we went out to eat she could offer to pay, but she never did. I knew she didn't have money, she's always been a person ever 30 years and now, that lives on public assistance. But then we would go in a store and she would spend $200 or $300 on total junk that would just get added to her hoard pile. Anyway about a month ago she texted me and told me if I was her real friend I would give her $3000.00 dollars to get her house cleaned and fixed up (they are threatning to condemn it). I of course said no, not because I can't afford it, but because I know her house would end up exactly the same. I knew I was being used so I stopped texting her and of course again I've heard absolutely nothing from her since. So I know exactly how you feel.

 

[mizera]

I hope you are doing okay.

Thank you. I took the cat to the vet and they told me he was "ok." I was ready to put him to sleep but decided to keep going. It's hard to tell when it's the right time for that. I don't think he's happy but I'll keep going with him, giving him fluid treatments every day. I try to imagine life living alone. Like right now I have nothing to do on a Saturday. I went for a walk earlier to check out the farmer's market. Took a look around and then walked home. Usually on Saturdays I just look forward to the evening when I feel more comfortable and relaxed. I can just lie in bed and watch tv and surf the internet. But in the afternoon I'm lost. Recently there was heavy rain one afternoon and I loved it knowing everyone else was shut in just like me. I think I'll take a walk through the park today and look at the people. I think I'm going to start working over the weekends to make it easier for me during the week. Therapy starts on Tuesday. It will be good to talk to someone. I hope I drew someone good from this clinic.

 

[mizera]

@mizera I know exactly how you feel, I identify with the weekend thing and find myself to looking forward to Monday so I can work and talk to people about work, even though I work at home and never see anyone in person. Other people seem to live for the weekends. And the restaurant thing, I hooked up with an old friend I hadn't seen in 30 days year on facebook (i am desperate for human attention). I found out she was a hoarder when I saw her house, you can't even get in the door without stepping over mountains of crap and garbage. That didn't bother me at all, I accepted her for how she was and did not judge her for it, I try to never judge anyone. Anyway one thing we always did was go out to restaurants to eat, I paid every single time, and I didn't bother me we never anywhere expensive, we would go to small local places and sometimes like waffle or cracker barrel, I knew I would be paying and for me it was worth it to sit down and eat and have someone to talk to. I sometimes felt like maybe once out of the 150 times we went out to eat she could offer to pay, but she never did. I knew she didn't have money, she's always been a person ever 30 years and now, that lives on public assistance. But then we would go in a store and she would spend $200 or $300 on total junk that would just get added to her hoard pile. Anyway about a month ago she texted me and told me if I was her real friend I would give her $3000.00 dollars to get her house cleaned and fixed up (they are threatning to condemn it). I of course said no, not because I can't afford it, but because I know her house would end up exactly the same. I knew I was being used so I stopped texting her and of course again I've heard absolutely nothing from her since. So I know exactly how you feel.

I think it's fair to say that people always disappoint you in the end. For many years, due to my poor circumstances, I found myself surrounded by less than solid people, and every single one disappointed me. I used to have this friend who lives a block from me. Once she met her boyfriend she wasn't allowed to talk to me anymore after he found out that she had wanted to sleep with me. But anyway, I found her pleasant and talkative. We could take walks and have coffee. Eventually she started asking to borrow money, assuring me that she was getting worker's comp checks and could easily pay me back. Well, I never got the money back. Just one of many stories that I'd prefer to forget ever happened.

I have a friend that I've known for over 20 years. She lives down the street. The problem with her is that she has a medical issue that's ruined her life. I like her but all the medications she takes has taken its toll on her functioning. She is also very lonely and very talkative at the same time. But her social skills aren't great and she tends to tell long winded stories, mostly about doctors and emergency rooms. I can't even pick up the phone when she calls because I'll never be able to get off without having to be rude. She would be happy to have me listening to her for hours without me even saying anything but uh huh. I thought about taking her to lunch today, so that afterwards I can go home. If I ever go over there she will fight to keep me there as long as possible.

 

[youcouldnevertell]

nothing really

 

[LeeG]

@mizera yes I know that seems to be how it goes. The person I was talking about goes on for hours too about herself and it's always stories about people I don't know and things I don't care about. She would do talk to text, and her vocabulary is really bad so I ended up getting books of text messages that don't make any sense at all. Yesterday on fb she wrote that I stole one of her cats, she has like 100 feral cats, I don't know how she can notice one missing, I havent been there in at least a month, I don't want a c at, I'm not supposed to have one where I live, and if I I did I wouldnt take one of hers that look sick to me. That's a whole lot of crazy right there.

Anyway I'm glad your cars alright, thank you for sharing your experiences with me.