What do you think is the biggest mistake that men/women make in their relationships?

[PoWer2tHePeOpLE]

err.. not doing everything i was supposed to be doing to make my partner completely satisfied?.. well that sounds pretty unrealistic eh..

honest communication sounds good, but then we all have dark sides that we cant be totally honest about so that sounds like a mild delusion to me.. there is always some amount of diplomatic adapting occurring in a relationship i reckon..

keeping things fun?? yeah sure, try and keep things light and fun when your partner is feeling serious and you just become an insensitive assbucket.. alternatively being serious when your partner is on the other end of the spectrum...

when is it complacency as opposed to just wanting some down time? i dunno..

i reckon what makes a successful relationship (whatever 'successful' means..) is two people wanting pretty much the same thing and not being evil.

oh and LUCK.

hence i am not a relationship counsellor

 

[cheaptrickfan]

err.. not doing everything i was supposed to be doing to make my partner completely satisfied?.. well that sounds pretty unrealistic eh..

Oh, you've hit on a pet peeve of mine with this one! It is unrealistic.

I hate this idea that another person's happiness lies in someone else's hands. It's total ********. We are, each of us, only responsible for making ourselves happy. Pointing a finger of blame at a partner and saying, "you didn't work hard enough to make me happy, so I'm out of here" is not only wrong, it's selfish.

Two people in a relationship should work together to make the relationship work; that includes mutual respect and and communication, not a list of "what to do/not to do to keep me here."

Grr.

 

[Estreen]

err.. not doing everything i was supposed to be doing to make my partner completely satisfied?.. well that sounds pretty unrealistic eh..

honest communication sounds good, but then we all have dark sides that we cant be totally honest about so that sounds like a mild delusion to me.. there is always some amount of diplomatic adapting occurring in a relationship i reckon..

keeping things fun?? yeah sure, try and keep things light and fun when your partner is feeling serious and you just become an insensitive assbucket.. alternatively being serious when your partner is on the other end of the spectrum...

when is it complacency as opposed to just wanting some down time? i dunno..

i reckon what makes a successful relationship (whatever 'successful' means..) is two people wanting pretty much the same thing and not being evil.

oh and LUCK.

hence i am not a relationship counsellor

Well, what I meant by complacency, is when 90% of the time (or more), there is no spark. I don't mean there has to be something exciting going on at all times, just, it can't be constantly monotonous with barely-there conversation, and just constant dullness. I can't stand it when one person tries to do little things every so often for the other person, just to say "hey I'm thinking of you" or to cheer them up when they're feeling down, or just for the heck of it, and the person on the other end does ZILCH except for the extremely rare small gesture.

Granted, some people may not care at all about that stuff, and that's fine, but I have to have a balance. I need "me time" as much as the next person, but when I have "together time" with the one I love, I don't want it being a constantly boring, dull, monotonous thing. There has to be something there.

Sorry for the lengthy explanation, there's just really not a good way for me to explain it, lol. I don't want to make it seem like I have some unrealistic expectation that one should constantly be "entertained" within a relationship or something, just, there's got to be a balance, no matter which couple it is, they have to figure out what works for them. I'm all for both partners having their own space and time to themselves, that's not my issue at all, and as far as "down time", I'm usually content to just sit there with my SO and just watch a movie or whatever, but if the other person starts acting like they don't care or don't have any interest in what you say or do, that I do take issue with.