What it means to be truly ugly.

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Ask anyone who is conventionally attractive that suffers from body dysmorphia about what they think is ugly and you'll get a mixed bag of answers with the general thing that ties them all together being that they are unaware of their own selves to or beyond a certain extent and their experiences will reflect of that accordingly.

I've met a handful of genuinely beautiful women with this problem. It isn't pretty, trust me.
It can become overwhelming very easily when you draw the kind of attention that you don't want or the kind of attention that makes you uncomfortable.

In some instances said women have even confessed or stated that at some point they intentionally went out of their way to make themselves less attractive to men entirely because of the anxiety from the overwhelming feeling of drawing the wrong kind of or uncomfortable kind of attention to themselves.

It is in this instance in which I think and believe that sometimes being attractive isn't actually it's all cracked up to be by those who don't suffer these kinds of issues accordingly.

It also does happen to men as well. Take a dude for example like Peter Steele.
Pete in his younger years was better built and definitely became aware of his own attraction level.
Although the problem became that it's disorienting and depersonalizing to fly solely on your appearance.
And while yes it can be gratifying in the moment it does not bring fulfillment and meaning.
And therefore it becomes cyclically addictive in a similar way to how alcohol becomes cyclically addictive.
So Pete could get any woman he wanted and pretty much became very well aware of that.
He figured out how to make it work for himself. But in all actuality the man was immensely depressed.
Even going as far as to state at one point in an interview: "When you're 6'8 and built like a house nobody wants to hear about how hard your life is."

And it's for this reason that I can't hate the man.
The lesson being that just because you can doesn't always mean that you should.
I CAN go out and buy a bottle but I don't because I probably shouldn't.
I CAN probably go out and just fall into hookup culture but I don't because I know that I won't find what I'm looking for within it.


People are their minds, not their bodies.
And while it is true that mind-body connectivity is a thing, it is also equally true that the body mostly houses the mind and that is its primary utilization.

The question of ugliness becomes rather, at what point of objective beauty, does it become worth the while to not be understood, to not be heard or seen as the person that you actually are, entirely because of how you look.

I'd rather a nightmare of rejections. I'm used to that. That doesn't bother me.
The lack of substance however, and the lack of depth, THAT absolutely terrifies me.
It's depersonalizing, in a way that's really not a good or healthy way to be at all.

So if I had to choose between the unlimited access to sex through being and/or making myself more attractive, or the Hell of perpetual rejection, the Hell of perpetual rejection is way less disturbing and way less damaging to me.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I hate it too Ska…

When I was ugly and unpopular in school I wanted everything to change, I wished everyone had to talk to and chill with everyone so I wasnt so alone… but reality wasnt that, reality was (for me) the hot girl was in charge… and sometimes the ugly ones would bully her so she would adapt and pretend to be nice… that was my reality anyway maybe everyone else had the less attractive people as the most popular in school idk…

I forgot to mention -
I actually really do want to be something. It's not that I want to play video games all day either. I want to make progress and grow. It's just really hard to play the male gender role, that I know I must, when you don't feel like you are good at/talented at anything.

Is being good at something nature or nurture though? I don't know. I never had much faith that I could get much better at anything because I always felt that if I was really that kind of person, I'd be better to start with, I'd learn faster, it would all be more natural and with less resistance. But I never felt this - at things I liked, didn't like, it didn't matter, it was all the same. I felt like I didn't have the knack. And I now realize that this is the main reason I was unpopular, and unhappy for most of my life. This unpopularity, grew up into unattractiveness/inability to play my role/being boring.

PS - what kind of school did you go to? At mine, you would have run things easily.

 

[4No1]

Very true… everyone else seems to have a nicer reality than I do, they all fall in love, and love sex as much as the opposite gender and only want to sleep with one woman and think appearance and money dont matter … I mean the homeless if theres any in your reality must all be married surely… as no one cares about their money or looks. The divorce rate must also be close to 0% without leading causes such as financial instability, infidelity and sexless marriages…I wish I could join that reality, sounds so much better than mine…

Except well… statistically speaking... since men and women are just as sexual as each other... would that also mean they commit sexual crimes at the same rate and not the 98/2 ratio like in my reality ...?

Change it to prison then... a man gets locked in a womens prison... a woman gets locked in a mans prison... in my reality.. real life... we all know what would happen.

Women less often use a physical violence especially towards men. Because they are weaker, an average woman can't beat an average men. Woman don't use sex for an establishing yourself in society. It doesn't make women asexual and every men super-sexual.
There is a lot of opportunities between zero and infinity. Want to and actually doing is not the same.
If both don't want sex why would the divorce, f.e. Do you think all women are ok in a sexless romantic relationship? Smth like a tea without tea or a dinner without food for me. Well anyway I see almost no reason for a marriage so can't really comment divorces.

I dunno, men in my reality don't run after any hot woman they see, they mostly mind their own business.
P.S. In my reality I want to sleep with no woman at all )

that was my reality anyway maybe everyone else had the less attractive people as the most popular in school idk…

I don't think we had a concept of a "popular girl" at all. I've only seen it in the american movies.
Mostly kids hang on with kids from their own class or had freinds outside school.
Some people were weird, but not as they were avoided/bullied. And most girls in my school were more interested in studying, not boys, only a few dated. And only a few boys did as well(though I don't know, if they wanted it or not and maybe they dated outside a school)

 

[TheRealCallie]

Ask anyone who is conventionally attractive that suffers from body dysmorphia about what they think is ugly and you'll get a mixed bag of answers with the general thing that ties them all together being that they are unaware of their own selves to or beyond a certain extent and their experiences will reflect of that accordingly.

I would fall into this category. I hate attention. I hate being stared at. Most people would put me at above average. Good days, I feel I am average at best. Bad days, I feel I am below average. I'm a lot better than I used to be though. I used to think I was honestly ugly as hell all the time.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

I would fall into this category. I hate attention. I hate being stared at. Most people would put me at above average. Good days, I feel I am average at best. Bad days, I feel I am below average. I'm a lot better than I used to be though. I used to think I was honestly ugly as hell all the time.

Yeah, that's the problem I have too.

 

[isthatso]

I'm more self conscious about my voice and non verbals.
People who project their personality with a charming voice and idiosyncratic ways are the benchmark for me. I've never been a very good actor.
It's not your appearance that matters. It's how you project yourself. It's slll about acting. And many of us don't come close to winning an Oscar.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Ask anyone who is conventionally attractive that suffers from body dysmorphia about what they think is ugly and you'll get a mixed bag of answers with the general thing that ties them all together being that they are unaware of their own selves to or beyond a certain extent and their experiences will reflect of that accordingly.

I've met a handful of genuinely beautiful women with this problem. It isn't pretty, trust me.
It can become overwhelming very easily when you draw the kind of attention that you don't want or the kind of attention that makes you uncomfortable.

In some instances said women have even confessed or stated that at some point they intentionally went out of their way to make themselves less attractive to men entirely because of the anxiety from the overwhelming feeling of drawing the wrong kind of or uncomfortable kind of attention to themselves.

It is in this instance in which I think and believe that sometimes being attractive isn't actually it's all cracked up to be by those who don't suffer these kinds of issues accordingly.

It also does happen to men as well. Take a dude for example like Peter Steele.
Pete in his younger years was better built and definitely became aware of his own attraction level.
Although the problem became that it's disorienting and depersonalizing to fly solely on your appearance.
And while yes it can be gratifying in the moment it does not bring fulfillment and meaning.
And therefore it becomes cyclically addictive in a similar way to how alcohol becomes cyclically addictive.
So Pete could get any woman he wanted and pretty much became very well aware of that.
He figured out how to make it work for himself. But in all actuality the man was immensely depressed.
Even going as far as to state at one point in an interview: "When you're 6'8 and built like a house nobody wants to hear about how hard your life is."

And it's for this reason that I can't hate the man.
The lesson being that just because you can doesn't always mean that you should.
I CAN go out and buy a bottle but I don't because I probably shouldn't.
I CAN probably go out and just fall into hookup culture but I don't because I know that I won't find what I'm looking for within it.


People are their minds, not their bodies.
And while it is true that mind-body connectivity is a thing, it is also equally true that the body mostly houses the mind and that is its primary utilization.

The question of ugliness becomes rather, at what point of objective beauty, does it become worth the while to not be understood, to not be heard or seen as the person that you actually are, entirely because of how you look.

I'd rather a nightmare of rejections. I'm used to that. That doesn't bother me.
The lack of substance however, and the lack of depth, THAT absolutely terrifies me.
It's depersonalizing, in a way that's really not a good or healthy way to be at all.

So if I had to choose between the unlimited access to sex through being and/or making myself more attractive, or the Hell of perpetual rejection, the Hell of perpetual rejection is way less disturbing and way less damaging to me.

Because I have BDD I found this post really interesting... I will say I have that this point "When you're 6'8 and built like a house nobody wants to hear about how hard your life is." Was used to unattractive people in a sense my dad used to say "You're too big and ugly to have any issues" I would always think... wow why would he say that (not to me, I didn't specify that last time I made an example and it lead to a misunderstanding, so look at me taking the time to state things more clearly... wheres my gold star?)...


Do you think rejection doesn't bother you because you expect it, or because you've grown from them as a person, or...?

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I forgot to mention -
I actually really do want to be something. It's not that I want to play video games all day either. I want to make progress and grow. It's just really hard to play the male gender role, that I know I must, when you don't feel like you are good at/talented at anything.

Is being good at something nature or nurture though? I don't know. I never had much faith that I could get much better at anything because I always felt that if I was really that kind of person, I'd be better to start with, I'd learn faster, it would all be more natural and with less resistance. But I never felt this - at things I liked, didn't like, it didn't matter, it was all the same. I felt like I didn't have the knack. And I now realize that this is the main reason I was unpopular, and unhappy for most of my life. This unpopularity, grew up into unattractiveness/inability to play my role/being boring.

PS - what kind of school did you go to? At mine, you would have run things easily.

I think you should try to work in AI... maybe look into the tech jobs in that area whilst it's still in it's infancy. It's taking away jobs but generating new ones, cooler ones that do not involved maths and standard programming.

I went to a very racist school it suckedddd omg.. so many... where did your parents adopt you from.. Africa ?!?! Jokes.. I could start my own KKK Klan with the amount of race nonsense I had to endure. However, there was nice people, Irish guy and an American guy joined and obviously fell in love with me and increased my popularity.. so thanks to them. I sat by myself most lunch breaks, I even used to just walk alone... nothing really dramatically changed until I moved.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Women less often use a physical violence especially towards men. Because they are weaker, an average woman can't beat an average men. Woman don't use sex for an establishing yourself in society. It doesn't make women asexual and every men super-sexual.
There is a lot of opportunities between zero and infinity. Want to and actually doing is not the same.
If both don't want sex why would the divorce, f.e. Do you think all women are ok in a sexless romantic relationship? Smth like a tea without tea or a dinner without food for me. Well anyway I see almost no reason for a marriage so can't really comment divorces.

I dunno, men in my reality don't run after any hot woman they see, they mostly mind their own business.
P.S. In my reality I want to sleep with no woman at all )


I don't think we had a concept of a "popular girl" at all. I've only seen it in the american movies.
Mostly kids hang on with kids from their own class or had freinds outside school.
Some people were weird, but not as they were avoided/bullied. And most girls in my school were more interested in studying, not boys, only a few dated. And only a few boys did as well(though I don't know, if they wanted it or not and maybe they dated outside a school)

Men do not run after every hot woman they see. They do however, want to sleep with every hot woman they see. Ask Ardour lol I joke I joke...

Wow your school was... Amazing... I love that, I wish I went to your school omg. I just wanted a friend, was a lonely time for me, but even women who are popular in culture for example, are hot... spicy women... not the unattractive ladies of the world. Fat women used to sing behind walls at clubs so the men could gander at the lip syncing sexy chick... it was good for business... but why...

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Because I have BDD I found this post really interesting... I will say I have that this point "When you're 6'8 and built like a house nobody wants to hear about how hard your life is." Was used to unattractive people in a sense my dad used to say "You're too big and ugly to have any issues" I would always think... wow why would he say that (not to me, I didn't specify that last time I made an example and it lead to a misunderstanding, so look at me taking the time to state things more clearly... wheres my gold star?)...

"I" have BDD, and I'm a dude. It really can happen to anyone. I just don't talk about it much. But yes, it is quite tortuous.

Do you think rejection doesn't bother you because you expect it, or because you've grown from them as a person, or...?

I expect it which is why it doesn't bother me much. It's when I DON'T get rejected that I typically get anxious. Or if one too many women flirt with me in a single day, that will freak me out and I'll get anxious. That's happened. It isn't that they weren't attractive, either, because they definitely were, it's just that anytime you have BDD and you hit your perceptual boundaries, it rattles your cage a little bit, know what I mean? It's flattering but also at the same time that's a little too convenient especially given that they all knew each other. I'm a lot of things, but I don't actively try to be an arsehole and I'm not stupid, so it made me anxious and kinda paranoid. I ended up having to sleep it off over the course of the next couple of days.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

"I" have BDD, and I'm a dude. It really can happen to anyone. I just don't talk about it much. But yes, it is quite tortuous.



I expect it which is why it doesn't bother me much. It's when I DON'T get rejected that I typically get anxious. Or if one too many women flirt with me in a single day, that will freak me out and I'll get anxious. That's happened. It isn't that they weren't attractive, either, because they definitely were, it's just that anytime you have BDD and you hit your perceptual boundaries, it rattles your cage a little bit, know what I mean? It's flattering but also at the same time that's a little too convenient especially given that they all knew each other. I'm a lot of things, but I don't actively try to be an arsehole and I'm not stupid, so it made me anxious and kinda paranoid. I ended up having to sleep it off over the course of the next couple of days.

Oh yes, I know a lot of men with it in the modelling world. Sorry to hear that my Apexie x they wont bloody operate on me cosmetically Apexiee so I have to go through torture and fly aboard just to fix whats wrong with me, it's just inhumane. (rant over)

It's weird, I totally know what you mean... if someone compliments me I grab my mirror to check they arent making fun of me, to try and see what it is about me they like, you know? It's like my brains not convinced. but strangely I require constant praise to feel attractive. Drives my fella mad lmao.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I'm more self conscious about my voice and non verbals.
People who project their personality with a charming voice and idiosyncratic ways are the benchmark for me. I've never been a very good actor.
It's not your appearance that matters. It's how you project yourself. It's slll about acting. And many of us don't come close to winning an Oscar.

When I try to tell people this they think I'm madddd, attitude has huge impacts on your attractiveness.

When I want my fella to do something, I ask him all sweet and cute... he cant say no to that.. no man can lol I could have just nagged but whats attractive about that?

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Oh yes, I know a lot of men with it in the modelling world. Sorry to hear that my Apexie x they wont bloody operate on me cosmetically Apexiee so I have to go through torture and fly aboard just to fix whats wrong with me, it's just inhumane. (rant over)

It's weird, I totally know what you mean... if someone compliments me I grab my mirror to check they arent making fun of me, to try and see what it is about me they like, you know? It's like my brains not convinced. but strangely I require constant praise to feel attractive. Drives my fella mad lmao.

Yep. That's BDD. Sigh...I'm sorry you have it too. Someone asked me once what it was like and I told them it's like looking in the mirror and never seeing yourself as you actually are. I don't, think I require praise to feel attractive though. But I do require affirmation that I'm enough to satisfy. Because if I'm not, I mean, well then wth am I even doing, you know?

I told my girlfriend 6 months ago I have this kind of a problem and at first she was a bit dismissive of it I think in part because she has it too, but in the last month or so she's starting to really see it and she's like oh **** you were serious. We've grown closer since. Not all intimacy is sexual, and it's actually the non-sexual intimacy that brings people closer sometimes. What's interesting is that now she's all over me, but because I'm not used to being accepted like this it's, a bit intense. But the whole reason why she's all over me is because I'm the first guy she's been with that actually understands her at this level.

So she's starting to learn and realize that the women I've had as friends or have met in the past I really don't have an interest in and it really is just platonic. Because I guess guys that have these kinds of problems don't really talk about it much.

In part because it's only in more recent years of probably the past two decades that its become socially acceptable. I mean I remember going back to early 2000's before 2005 and remembering how it was a taboo thing back then.

So for the last few months she's been anxious that I might've been lying to her like how her ex husband and her two ex bfs were lying to her beforehand, and she's starting to realize that I'm not like that. I'm just troubled. I have other problems. I'm not the lying and cheating type. But I AM kind of the walking epitome of tortured or troubled artist.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I think you should try to work in AI... maybe look into the tech jobs in that area whilst it's still in it's infancy. It's taking away jobs but generating new ones, cooler ones that do not involved maths and standard programming.

Maybe, I haven't looked at it too closely so I'm not sure what's required. I've tried programming a few times, and I don't think I was any good at it, I don't think I had a knack for it. It also didn't help that I didn't think any women would appreciate it, because I feel like they want excitement. It's hard to be exciting when you have to work a desk job, I don't know how to do it.

It's not so much that I'm horrible at math, so much as it is that I'm "just OK". Maybe even high "just OK". I got through Calc 2 - by the skin of my teeth maybe, but I got through at all which is more than a lot of people can say. But that's the thing, in today's world, there isn't much meaningful difference between "just OK" and "bad". "Just OK" isn't good enough in today's world - today, you're either "awesome", or "nothing", no in-betweens. You can't be Homer Simpson anymore.

I went to a very racist school it suckedddd omg.. so many... where did your parents adopt you from.. Africa ?!?! Jokes.. I could start my own KKK Klan with the amount of race nonsense I had to endure. However, there was nice people, Irish guy and an American guy joined and obviously fell in love with me and increased my popularity.. so thanks to them. I sat by myself most lunch breaks, I even used to just walk alone... nothing really dramatically changed until I moved.

Sorry to hear that it was such a racist environment, I'm sure those "jokes" got old fast. I had a lot of obnoxious people around me too, but nothing to that extent or frequency - more based on class than race since we were mostly all similar. But, glad you had some good ones, and you got a boost from it. Having some nice people around, even a few, makes the day that much more bearable. It feels so nice when things start changing and going your way.

I really need a glow-up with my skills the way you got with your looks - not to take this thread too far away from what it's about but I think "skills" are almost like the male version of "looks", so struggling to learn skills/not being a natural, is like being "ugly" in a sense. I just hope this isn't all my brain is good for.

 

[4No1]

Men do not run after every hot woman they see. They do however, want to sleep with every hot woman they see.

I still think men don't think about sex all the time so they can miss some women Some men want to sleep with most hot women they see - this I can agree )
Anyway, what's the problem with it? I want to kill my neighbour, though he is mt ex-neighbour, doesn't mean I admit such a possbilitiy in a real life.

I went to a very racist school it suckedddd omg..

I'm sorry about it

I think you should try to work in AI... maybe look into the tech jobs in that area whilst it's still in it's infancy. It's taking away jobs but generating new ones, cooler ones that do not involved maths and standard programming.

I thought in AI/ML math is required for now. What AI jobs do not(curious, I want such a job)? And it's not so easy to get there as it's quite popular now, especially if you don't fancy it, I think, IT is a cruel world.

Maybe, I haven't looked at it too closely so I'm not sure what's required. I've tried programming a few times, and I don't think I was any good at it, I don't think I had a knack for it. It also didn't help that I didn't think any women would appreciate it, because I feel like they want excitement. It's hard to be exciting when you have to work a desk job, I don't know how to do it.

In my country women(and in some others as well) more then appreciate it. That cool guys with money, having an IT-husband is cool. But if you don't like it, you won't be happy doing it.


When I hear that someone attractive/beatiful has problems with thier looks, I suggest that if they saw me, they would be frightened to death...

My looks was never good, but I used to hope, I could loose some weight and be a little bit more normal, now there are aslo aging issues. Game over.
I was quite cute at the age of 3-5. Funny thing, the older I get, the less ugly I think is me young, I watch the old pictures(8-10 years ago) and I think it was not so bad as I thought it was, maybe I could try smth that time. I don't and didn't really flirt with men/showing some interest not only because I don't know how, but also because they would be offended to death (hmm, maybe I could try it with that neighbour)).

 

[TheRealCallie]

. Someone asked me once what it was like and I told them it's like looking in the mirror and never seeing yourself as you actually are

Mine has always been mostly tied to my weight. Obviously it stems to other areas, but weight is the big one. I always tell people that when I gain a pound, I see it in the mirror as like 50 pounds. Again, not quite as bad now, but it's still there.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Yep. That's BDD. Sigh...I'm sorry you have it too. Someone asked me once what it was like and I told them it's like looking in the mirror and never seeing yourself as you actually are. I don't, think I require praise to feel attractive though. But I do require affirmation that I'm enough to satisfy. Because if I'm not, I mean, well then wth am I even doing, you know?

I told my girlfriend 6 months ago I have this kind of a problem and at first she was a bit dismissive of it I think in part because she has it too, but in the last month or so she's starting to really see it and she's like oh honeysuckle you were serious. We've grown closer since. Not all intimacy is sexual, and it's actually the non-sexual intimacy that brings people closer sometimes. What's interesting is that now she's all over me, but because I'm not used to being accepted like this it's, a bit intense. But the whole reason why she's all over me is because I'm the first guy she's been with that actually understands her at this level.

So she's starting to learn and realize that the women I've had as friends or have met in the past I really don't have an interest in and it really is just platonic. Because I guess guys that have these kinds of problems don't really talk about it much.

In part because it's only in more recent years of probably the past two decades that its become socially acceptable. I mean I remember going back to early 2000's before 2005 and remembering how it was a taboo thing back then.

So for the last few months she's been anxious that I might've been lying to her like how her ex husband and her two ex bfs were lying to her beforehand, and she's starting to realize that I'm not like that. I'm just troubled. I have other problems. I'm not the lying and cheating type. But I AM kind of the walking epitome of tortured or troubled artist.

I think thats a huge issue, in Youtube university it says men and women cannot be friends and I think it's sad... as I really do like some men and think of them as friends and nothing more, but according to youtube university they all wanna take me to their caves and mate with me just because I am a woman.

Maybe, I haven't looked at it too closely so I'm not sure what's required. I've tried programming a few times, and I don't think I was any good at it, I don't think I had a knack for it. It also didn't help that I didn't think any women would appreciate it, because I feel like they want excitement. It's hard to be exciting when you have to work a desk job, I don't know how to do it.

It's not so much that I'm horrible at math, so much as it is that I'm "just OK". Maybe even high "just OK". I got through Calc 2 - by the skin of my teeth maybe, but I got through at all which is more than a lot of people can say. But that's the thing, in today's world, there isn't much meaningful difference between "just OK" and "bad". "Just OK" isn't good enough in today's world - today, you're either "awesome", or "nothing", no in-betweens. You can't be Homer Simpson anymore.



Sorry to hear that it was such a racist environment, I'm sure those "jokes" got old fast. I had a lot of obnoxious people around me too, but nothing to that extent or frequency - more based on class than race since we were mostly all similar. But, glad you had some good ones, and you got a boost from it. Having some nice people around, even a few, makes the day that much more bearable. It feels so nice when things start changing and going your way.

I really need a glow-up with my skills the way you got with your looks - not to take this thread too far away from what it's about but I think "skills" are almost like the male version of "looks", so struggling to learn skills/not being a natural, is like being "ugly" in a sense. I just hope this isn't all my brain is good for.

Yeah like I met this girl working in AI and her job was being a conversationalist, to train AI chat bots with a companies tone, I thought wow how cool.

Truly the only positive is it takes a lotttt to offend me now... like some people get offended by somethings and I think whattt... I dont even seen where the offense is... but that also has down sides but it's nice not to feel like anyone can just say any old thing and offend me anymore.


I think thats very true men dont need looks if they have resources, I think retirement is a mans menopause lol but honestly Ska maybe technology has a surprise for you, a perfect job that suits you. You're American... do you enjoy driving? All brits think Americans love to drive lol

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I still think men don't think about sex all the time so they can miss some women Some men want to sleep with most hot women they see - this I can agree )
Anyway, what's the problem with it? I want to kill my neighbour, though he is mt ex-neighbour, doesn't mean I admit such a possbilitiy in a real life.

I'm sorry about it



I thought in AI/ML math is required for now. What AI jobs do not(curious, I want such a job)? And it's not so easy to get there as it's quite popular now, especially if you don't fancy it, I think, IT is a cruel world.


In my country women(and in some others as well) more then appreciate it. That cool guys with money, having an IT-husband is cool. But if you don't like it, you won't be happy doing it.


When I hear that someone attractive/beatiful has problems with thier looks, I suggest that if they saw me, they would be frightened to death...

My looks was never good, but I used to hope, I could loose some weight and be a little bit more normal, now there are aslo aging issues. Game over.
I was quite cute at the age of 3-5. Funny thing, the older I get, the less ugly I think is me young, I watch the old pictures(8-10 years ago) and I think it was not so bad as I thought it was, maybe I could try smth that time. I don't and didn't really flirt with men/showing some interest not only because I don't know how, but also because they would be offended to death (hmm, maybe I could try it with that neighbour)).

Honestly I only know of 1 AI job without math so far and thats the conversationalist position, to train Chatbots, they pay above average but hard to get into so I have been told the market is saturated with internships. Some people find internships unethical and so on. There is one more actually and I think it's similar training googles search engine no idea what that position is called though.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Mine has always been mostly tied to my weight. Obviously it stems to other areas, but weight is the big one. I always tell people that when I gain a pound, I see it in the mirror as like 50 pounds. Again, not quite as bad now, but it's still there.

I have that problem.
I have ate and drank nothing but the exact same things without deviation for the past 3 months.
Sometimes I'm not sure which is more maddening.

I think thats a huge issue, in Youtube university it says men and women cannot be friends and I think it's sad... as I really do like some men and think of them as friends and nothing more, but according to youtube university they all wanna take me to their caves and mate with me just because I am a woman.

The internet usually takes a while to catch up to reality. A large part of the reason why that is, is because people have a tendency to forget the core mechanical basics of the internet. What you put into a search engine, is going to give you algorithmic results. So if you put in relationship-related issues into a search engine, it's a mechanical thing, not a sentient thing, so it's going to give you an algorithm of results based upon other people who have also searched for the same thing. Which is how you get the gender divide and all of this kinds of modern problems. Yes, there is some truth to both sides of it, and yes there is some falsity to both sides of it as well. But the fact of the matter is, if I ask Google "How to change my ceiling fan," I'm going to get a list of results based upon other people's results based upon views and marketing techniques etc. But if my ceiling fan is in an old electrical system, that might not come up because your average everyday person isn't going to be trying to figure out how to wire a new ceiling fan into an old circuit breaker. In all actuality, using the internet for help is really about as accurate as using it for shopping. Which is roughly 70% percent accurate. Because everyone's gotten the wrong stuff from Amazon or DoorDash before. That's not at all to say that it isn't reliable, because it certainly is more reliable than it isn't, but you've definitely gotta weigh it against some practicalities. Now, businesses in particular hate when you bring up practicalities because practicalities go against their agenda of selling you a product, so what they'll do is sweep that under the rug or only acknowledge it as a matter of fact but understate the importance of that matter of fact entirely on purpose because if it was overstated instead nobody would buy into their product. I've got a background in logistics, it's partially my job to know this kind of stuff. The thing about the market is, the products change, the companies change, the platforms change, but the nuts and bolts of the market pretty much always stays the same. Just like a Ford and a Chevy have different makes but they've still both got engine builds, and an engine is still relatively the same concept.

 

[kinzeUK]

Hi CG - From the stats that I've seen and heard, it's something like 1/3 of men in the US (but I'm pretty sure it's no different here in the UK) under 30 haven't had sex in the last year and/or are virgins. Around 80% of men on dating apps are deemed unattractive right off the bat and out of the 20% at the top, women will only initiate contact and pursue 4-5%.

Yes, I am on those dating apps

I'm 49 and I haven't had sex/dated in the last 4 years. I can tell you that's it most definitely not by my own choosing(ish).

*Hmm, I thought I had replied to your comment re. the stats, but it's not showing up here?*