Sidewinder
Well-known member
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2021
- Messages
- 224
- Reaction score
- 16
Applied for two good jobs which recently opened, but that's not what made me smile... I macked a delicious plate of orange chicken on a bed of rice, and I washed it all down with cold Diet Pepsi. This was the 'InnovAsian Orange Chicken' which one can find in the freezer section at the supermarket, not the best Orange Chicken I've ever had, but pretty good considering how quick & easy it is to make. Anyway, I was hungry, and while I was macking I ripped several loud & prolonged belches, the kind that reverberated throughout the large dining room, lol. I must say, there are few things on this planet more deeply satisfying than a loud & prolonged belch... a loud & prolonged fart blast might be one of them, 10-4? No worries about etiquette, societal mores and cheesedick 'social regulations'---just pure exhilarating freedom, lol. When it comes to belching, we do things Arab-style round here, so a loud & prolonged belch is actually a compliment to the chef, who in this situation happened to be yours truly, aye?
This belching evoked a memory of 'Bubba the Cat'---a classic orange tabby who used to dwell at the ol' beach cottage in Coronado. He'd often hang out in my room while my friends and I were partying, and sometimes I'd walk up to him and say, "Here's a KISS for ya, Bubba!!!" Then I'd proceed to rip a heller loud fart blast directly in the cat's face, lol... he usually wore a grumpy or disdainful expression on his face, even when perfectly happy, but whenever I did this he would look at me with this comically disdainful expression, like, "WTF, DUDE?!?" Any other cat would've been scared off by the loud blast, but Bubba was hardcore, lol. That crazy cat was pretty funny, he was given to me by a friend who was going out to live in American Samoa, and my friend didn't want Bub to sit in quarantine for months on end... well, a year later that friend died an untimely death (at 41), so taking care of 'The Bub' became a sacred trust, since he was the last living link to an old school skateboarding friend and rock climbing partner of 25 years. Just thought I'd share that with y'all, here's a link to Bubba at the ol' beach cottage:
View attachment 4
That's a pic of a pic on the wall of one bathroom here, so bear with me, there's some glare involved and the photo is scratched, but you can see Bub's comically grumpy expression, lol... he was a good cat, but sadly, he has also been gone for a number of years. Meh, at least he lived a full life, and I reckon that's a good enough eulogy for any man or beast. If I ************* DIE today, at least I can tell St. Peter (or the Devil) that I lived a full life, lol. CHEERS!!!
Edit: Speaking of the Devil, y'all know how I feel... to me, Hell is NOT the Fiery Pit described by others, it's where the Devil sadistically grins, hands you a weed whacker, and tells you to go whack tall weeds for the duration of your stay, lol. The line has to be the cheesy kind which breaks at the least provocation, or ties itself into a ******* Gordian Knot on a regular basis. The soil has to be rocky too, and in Hell, weed whacking is ONLY done while wearing shorts & flip-flops... a constant barrage of rocks & shrapnel will pepper your shins as you work your way through the weeds. Your feet & knees will catch some serious abuse too, you'll look like a ******* poster child for domestic violence, lol. Maybe smallpox & the German Measles too, ya never know about these things. So, that's my view of Hell, and I'm pretty sure the Fiery Pit would be welcome instead of endless weed whacking, AYE?
This belching evoked a memory of 'Bubba the Cat'---a classic orange tabby who used to dwell at the ol' beach cottage in Coronado. He'd often hang out in my room while my friends and I were partying, and sometimes I'd walk up to him and say, "Here's a KISS for ya, Bubba!!!" Then I'd proceed to rip a heller loud fart blast directly in the cat's face, lol... he usually wore a grumpy or disdainful expression on his face, even when perfectly happy, but whenever I did this he would look at me with this comically disdainful expression, like, "WTF, DUDE?!?" Any other cat would've been scared off by the loud blast, but Bubba was hardcore, lol. That crazy cat was pretty funny, he was given to me by a friend who was going out to live in American Samoa, and my friend didn't want Bub to sit in quarantine for months on end... well, a year later that friend died an untimely death (at 41), so taking care of 'The Bub' became a sacred trust, since he was the last living link to an old school skateboarding friend and rock climbing partner of 25 years. Just thought I'd share that with y'all, here's a link to Bubba at the ol' beach cottage:
View attachment 4
That's a pic of a pic on the wall of one bathroom here, so bear with me, there's some glare involved and the photo is scratched, but you can see Bub's comically grumpy expression, lol... he was a good cat, but sadly, he has also been gone for a number of years. Meh, at least he lived a full life, and I reckon that's a good enough eulogy for any man or beast. If I ************* DIE today, at least I can tell St. Peter (or the Devil) that I lived a full life, lol. CHEERS!!!
Edit: Speaking of the Devil, y'all know how I feel... to me, Hell is NOT the Fiery Pit described by others, it's where the Devil sadistically grins, hands you a weed whacker, and tells you to go whack tall weeds for the duration of your stay, lol. The line has to be the cheesy kind which breaks at the least provocation, or ties itself into a ******* Gordian Knot on a regular basis. The soil has to be rocky too, and in Hell, weed whacking is ONLY done while wearing shorts & flip-flops... a constant barrage of rocks & shrapnel will pepper your shins as you work your way through the weeds. Your feet & knees will catch some serious abuse too, you'll look like a ******* poster child for domestic violence, lol. Maybe smallpox & the German Measles too, ya never know about these things. So, that's my view of Hell, and I'm pretty sure the Fiery Pit would be welcome instead of endless weed whacking, AYE?
