What romantic things are women known for?

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I'm sure things eventually become more equal as far as gestures and organizing dates or outings, as the relationship progresses, but there's a section of romantically unsuccessful guys who will never experience this. For them it's the same, lonely, one-sided dynamic where they do everything, only to be found unworthy at some point.
 
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but there's a section of romantically unsuccessful guys who will never experience this. For them it's the same, lonely, one-sided dynamic where they do everything, only to be found unworthy at some point.

Have you been following me around this past year?:p
 
I don't date so I don't need to.
Ditto.. unless you include online dating, but getting past her defenses online before she ghosts you, is hard enough.. I've only been on two dates, and one was a blind date (literally, she was blind).

I just can't do dating like job finding, with the whole dropping off 1000 resumes to get one callback.. I'm too sensitive for that ****.

Some part of me actually prefers to ignore that other people even exist, because it's the only thing that keeps me sane, and gives me any chance at being remotely happy for more than a day at a time(and once in a blue moon at that). Hence my random disappearances from this site. It hasn't been uncommon for me to go weeks or even months without talking to anyone besides CSRs and cab drivers (since I it's winter, and I still gotta eat).




What is it that YOU (not every man in the world, just you) find attractive in a partner?
An intellectually objective thinker, non judgemental, quirky/michevious. One of the few people that hasn't murdered their inner child. Also, someone that's emotionally supportive, and acts like a partner in order to help me achieve my dreams. Make no mistake though, I wouldn't expect such a thing if I was not willing to give an equal level of support as well.

As for looks, I'm not judgey, but I was raised in a judgy world, so some of that rubbed off on me, so.. someone that's not 'hot' but not bottom of the barrel ugly. Like I said, I'm not a fan of the women with skimpy clothing and bulked on make-up. I have more respect for a woman in jogging pants and a T-shirt with no make-up.


Do you truly believe romance is "selfless"? Or are the selfless males just trying to get laid?
Sadly that is often the case.. males in this society aren't typically raised to be intellectuals, so much as they are to be walking chunks of manmeat that hit things, like Hulk if he was horny.


Have you ever worn make up? Or some of the clothes that women do to make their man happy? Used a curling iron or any number of tools to make your hair look better? None of this would be how I would categorize "taking care of myself".
Assuming you're a woman, if that is the kinda stuff you do to "make your man happy" then it's a wonder you're having trouble finding a decent match, or you just got lucky and hit the jackpot (not sure if you're with someone or not, only that you're "not dating"). Cuz millions of women have difficulty finding a 'good man', cuz they sell themselves as sex objects rather than as people. Then they get pissed off cuz the only guys they can find, only want sex.. >,<




it's still uncomfortable af.
So don't do it.. do you really want to pull the attention of the sorts of men that would have their attention pulled by such a thing?
or sweats and a tshirt.
I swear, I did not read this before placing my interests, lol..


they aren't doing it for themselves.
They really aren't, lol.. unless they're interested in hookups vs meaningful relationships, they really have no reason to dress like that.


Which is why I feel like you are off base a bit in trying to generalize what women do and what men do and comparing it.
I was never trying to generalize anything. Only pointing out mainstream mentality, which even you added evidence of in your own post.


What sparked this anyway? Are you mad about something? Is there a specific person you want to be romantic with and you feel like it's not possible?
Naw, just trying to spark conversation. It's a lonely time of the year for me, so I was just stirring up some meaningless banter to fill the void. Sides, it largely is true that the men have to put out extra effort in initiating relationships.

But if I'm frustrated at anything, it's society, for being willfully blind to the many toxic traditions carried on in social contexts. They continue to get mad about some things, while ignoring the core issues at the heart of those issues..

 
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I'm sure things eventually become more equal as far as gestures and organizing dates or outings, as the relationship progresses, but there's a section of romantically unsuccessful guys who will never experience this. For them it's the same, lonely, one-sided dynamic where they do everything, only to be found unworthy at some point.
Exactly.
 
As for looks, I'm not judgey, but I was raised in a judgy world, so some of that rubbed off on me, so.. someone that's not 'hot' but not bottom of the barrel ugly. Like I said, I'm not a fan of the women with skimpy clothing and bulked on make-up. I have more respect for a woman in jogging pants and a T-shirt with no make-up.
Exactly! Ha! ha!

iu
 
An ex-girlfriend, long gone out of my life, once took one of the many small plush animals that I keep around and stuffed it deeply into her cleavage. She was fully clothed at the time. Then she looked at me with raised eyebrows and said "just try to get it." She didn't put up much resistance and, to be honest, I decided to look for other things. It turned out to be a very good evening. I found that romantic in it's own way. Cute, playful... fun... and no animals were harmed.
 
An ex-girlfriend, long gone out of my life, once took one of the many small plush animals that I keep around and stuffed it deeply into her cleavage. She was fully clothed at the time. Then she looked at me with raised eyebrows and said "just try to get it." She didn't put up much resistance and, to be honest, I decided to look for other things. It turned out to be a very good evening. I found that romantic in it's own way. Cute, playful... fun... and no animals were harmed.
Ok... Fine... Let me revise the question.. Can romance be done on a guy in such a way that doesn't paint men as sex hungry pigs?

I've tried countless times to get people to see that men want more from women than just sex.. but maybe I'm wrong.. maybe it's just me.. or maybe modern males are just raised en masse to be such imbeciles, with few and far between harboring any intellectual merit; that sex, sports, cars, and booze are the only things working their synapses on a daily basis..

Lack of originality is the psuedo death of humanity..
 
Ok... Fine... Let me revise the question.. Can romance be done on a guy in such a way that doesn't paint men as sex hungry pigs?

I've tried countless times to get people to see that men want more from women than just sex.. but maybe I'm wrong.. maybe it's just me.. or maybe modern males are just raised en masse to be such imbeciles, with few and far between harboring any intellectual merit; that sex, sports, cars, and booze are the only things working their synapses on a daily basis..

Lack of originality is the psuedo death of humanity..
Hm. I think you're going a bit far and are getting into the realm of stereotypes. For one, if you consider my story an example of men being "sex hungry pigs," then you're assuming a lot about me and about my relationships, not to mention about men in general. Your use of the word "imbeciles" also makes me think that you're hiding some big presumptions and it also makes me not want to take your opinions seriously. Painting all men in this way also makes me think that you haven't been paying much attention or that you've been looking in the wrong places or for the wrong things. Yes, plenty of men like the ones you stereotyped above do exist. Plenty of women would also fall into that category. Women want sex as much as men and many consider "romance" a path to that. There's nothing wrong with that, but it also doesn't mean that that's all there is to a relationship. Couples need to clearly define their definitions of "romance" as well, because this vague term doesn't mean the same thing to everyone and it can easily cause frustrations and misunderstandings. Many men, including me, do want more than sex from women, but sometimes they don't know how to express those needs or they are afraid to for fear of appearing "unmanly." That doesn't make them "imbeciles" or "sex hungry pigs," unless you judge them shallowly. I think you need to look further and think deeper about this subject. You are showing a lack of originality yourself.
 
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Romance is subjective. Not everyone is going to find the same things romantic. Hell, a candle light dinner is romantic and women DO do that. Taking a bath together is romantic and women initiate that. Give a hug can be romantic. Anything can be romantic if you allow it to be.

Saying that women aren't romantic is more an issue with you, than it is a reality. Women do romantic things, it just seems that you have a specific idea of what romance is and you aren't getting that. Hence this entire thread. Doesn't matter if it revolves around sex or food or booze or whatever, it only matters if it works for the two people it is happening for.
 
Simply in love can be romantic
I was in love when i was 16 and she was 15 .

It lasted for 7 years .

That was a very romantic period in my life .

It was school time
 
According to:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/married-and-still-doing-it/201708/6-truths-about-men-and-sex

"And while every man is different, of course, there are some common themes:
1. Sex begins in the body.

While women’s desire for sex may be prompted by their mind, memory, or emotional feelings of connection, for men desire is physical. "

That's why men have to play all those stupid games (romance) in order to find the right key to the castle.

As state above, everybody is different. So the OP, might be a little closer to the feminine side. That's probably a good thing. He can actually enjoy all the work required to lead up to sex. As for me, "I bought you flowers last Valentines Day. What more do you want?" That may help explain why I'm alone. Ha! ha!
 
As for me, "I bought you flowers last Valentines Day. What more do you want?" That may help explain why I'm alone. Ha! ha!

For a lot of women, buying flowers for them is romantic....though, I think a lot of women will agree that getting them for Valentine's Day or the like is not so much romantic as it is "obligation."
For me, I don't like getting flowers. They die, so what the hell does that say about the relationship????? Yes, I have odd opinions about that kind of thing, but it's true. You are spending money on something that will literally be dead in a few days. I've had exes that have brought me potted flowers (they still died, I killed them. lol) and also fake flowers (which I'm happy to report I have not yet killed) and that's a lot more romantic in my book than bringing me a bouquet that will just die.

Also, I don't like being given jewelry or really anything that costs a lot of money. For me, little things go a long way. Hell, open a damn jar for me if you know it needs opened so I don't have to struggle with it. That's romantic to me.
 
For a lot of women, buying flowers for them is romantic....though, I think a lot of women will agree that getting them for Valentine's Day or the like is not so much romantic as it is "obligation."
For me, I don't like getting flowers. They die, so what the hell does that say about the relationship????? Yes, I have odd opinions about that kind of thing, but it's true. You are spending money on something that will literally be dead in a few days. I've had exes that have brought me potted flowers (they still died, I killed them. lol) and also fake flowers (which I'm happy to report I have not yet killed) and that's a lot more romantic in my book than bringing me a bouquet that will just die.

Also, I don't like being given jewelry or really anything that costs a lot of money. For me, little things go a long way. Hell, open a damn jar for me if you know it needs opened so I don't have to struggle with it. That's romantic to me.
You sound HOT!!!!! I once bought new tires and repaired the AC in a girl friends car for her birthday. But, I didn't get her anything else. Huge Mistake! I actually thought I did something really nice for her because she kept complaining about being so hot inside her car. But, she was PISSED!!!!!! And we ended up in a fight over it. Then because of that she said I ruined her B-Day. Blaaaaaaa. Being single is soooooooo much easier.
 
An ex-girlfriend, long gone out of my life, once took one of the many small plush animals that I keep around and stuffed it deeply into her cleavage. She was fully clothed at the time. Then she looked at me with raised eyebrows and said "just try to get it." She didn't put up much resistance and, to be honest, I decided to look for other things. It turned out to be a very good evening. I found that romantic in it's own way. Cute, playful... fun... and no animals were harmed.

I like this idea a lot. It's more of a sensual buildup instead of "wham bam thank you ma'am".
Like you were saying, playful. Right on the border of cute and hot and both at the same time.
 
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I don't buy any of the standard psychology around men and women and sex. Both can be sexually aggressive, either can manipulate the other into sex and either can use shame, humiliation or even physical violence against the other. Men do tend to have a physical advantage over women, but not always, and that doesn't exclude the possibility of women becoming violent or abusive.

I've had women attempt to pressure me into sex. One tried to call me "frigid" or "obviously a virgin" to try and get me to succumb. I walked out on her and, to her credit, she later tried to apologize, but the damage was done. Other women have tried to use psychology on me as a means of control, either through insults, suggestions, yelling or breaking things of mine. It goes both ways. I've actually had more problems by not being a stereotypical male, because I found that many women I met expected certain male behavior and they usually became furious when I didn't conform to it. It's happened to me multiple times because I don't just sleep with people. I need to know them and trust them before leaping into the sack. I want to have a relationship with the people I sleep with. That characteristic about me has confounded just as many women as men.

Another woman I barely knew, a few years ago now, invited me to her house and, part way through the evening, said "I have to use the bathroom" and then came back completely naked and stood in front of me against the wall. I didn't find it erotic it all, in fact it scared the hell out of me and I just pointed at her and said matter-of-fact, "you know, you're completely naked." She just said "oh," left the room and came back clothed and, though we dated on and off for another 6 months or so, naively on my part in retrospect, that incident never came up again.

I've had other similar stories, but I've probably said too much already.

When I tell many men these stories, I receive responses such as "that must have been awesome" or "guys would kill to be in those situations" or "I wish I had your problems." Some have seen my perspective and said "that must have been creepy," but that's been uncommon. We're all different and no psychological algorithms or formulas will probably ever completely explain human behavior. Just don't give into stereotypes or accept manipulative or abusive behavior, follow your gut and things should work out okay. For years I thought there was something wrong with me because I didn't have "typical" male sexual responses. A few therapists, friends and girlfriends didn't help, either. They tended to make it worse. But I'm now comfortable with it. The point of all this is don't fall for the stereotypes or popular psychology around these things. It might be right some of the time, but it can be really, really, really wrong sometimes.
 
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Hm. I think you're going a bit far and are getting into the realm of stereotypes. For one, if you consider my story an example of men being "sex hungry pigs," then you're assuming a lot about me and about my relationships, not to mention about men in general. Your use of the word "imbeciles" also makes me think that you're hiding some big presumptions and it also makes me not want to take your opinions seriously. Painting all men in this way also makes me think that you haven't been paying much attention or that you've been looking in the wrong places or for the wrong things. Yes, plenty of men like the ones you stereotyped above do exist. Plenty of women would also fall into that category. Women want sex as much as men and many consider "romance" a path to that. There's nothing wrong with that, but it also doesn't mean that that's all there is to a relationship. Couples need to clearly define their definitions of "romance" as well, because this vague term doesn't mean the same thing to everyone and it can easily cause frustrations and misunderstandings. Many men, including me, do want more than sex from women, but sometimes they don't know how to express those needs or they are afraid to for fear of appearing "unmanly." That doesn't make them "imbeciles" or "sex hungry pigs," unless you judge them shallowly. I think you need to look further and think deeper about this subject. You are showing a lack of originality yourself.
Well, to be fair, I haven't seen much evidence on these forums in general that would tell me that men got a lot going on upstairs, in general.. there's a few I suppose but when it comes to women, so many of them just shut their brains off, and let their dicks run the show.

As for being afraid, if you can't express your feelings from the other side of a screen to people on the other side of the planet (for all you know), that's about as 'unmanly' as one can get.

And I already displayed my distaste for, sex = romance" mentality, so to be fair, you kinda brought the backlash on yourself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a total prude, but, sex comes after romance, as an unrelated cherry on top. Not as a reason for romance, unless you're doing some mutually agreed hook-up/prostitution. But in those cases, I don't think it could really be considered 'romance' if ur just gonna **** n' ditch.

Sex shouldn't really be focused on at all in initial romance unless you're down with pointless, fail relationships.

And yea.. I'm a guy myself, so I'm hardly stereotyping all men like that, just the majority. And if women want sex just as much as men, then they really need to stop '**** shaming' men..

As for me personally, I could give a **** less about sex. Right to the point that I could be with someone in a sexless relationship, and it wouldn't really bother me, so long as we clicked on an emotional/intellectual level.

I mean, no one knows my body, or desires better than me, so with the right toys and a good imagination.. honestly sex is the one thing I really don't feel I need a woman for.

As for the comment about imbeciles, tbh, hearing you and some of the other guys on this forum talk about women just brings me right back to the 90s.. and I find it beyond frustrating that there's been so little progression beyond that ape-like mentality.. especially with the internet.. Like, ****.. get outta your memes and click bait long enough to look up something that'll actually make use of your brain.

When I get frustrated, I often tend to slip and start using words like 'idiot', 'stupid', 'imbecile'; rather than the more grammatically correct term 'ignorant'. Which is to say that it's not so much that these men lack the brain compacity to think beyond their primal urges, but that they're willfully ignorant because it's easier for them that way.
 

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