what should i do? long distance relationship here.

[Lavitabella]

okay so i'm 17, my boyfriends 16. i'm gonna be a senior, and he's gonna be a junior. he lives in maine, i live in pennsylvania. we met online, which is something i never did and didnt plan on doing. but when i met him, i dont even know how to describe it. i needed to talk to him. we ended up talking for like, 13 hours straight that day. and from that point on, we talked all day everyday. we met in february, and have been together since april 2nd.

he was never the popular kid, which i dont care about. he only had one girlfriend, for a year, and she cheated on him. ive been with a lot of guys. and they've all hurt me. i don't trust anyone anymore, let alone guys. my last boyfriend and i were in a long distance relationship, but he was 2 hours away. he broke up with me because he "couldn't handle it" and i was upset for months, it felt like hell. he was the longest relationship i ever had, and the only guy i felt like i liked that much. so i promised myself not to get into another long distance relationship. only now i'm in one again.

when me and my boyfriend met, his best friend had me get on webcam, for proof, because he refused to believe that someone like me would even talk to someone like my boyfriend. no one knows why we're dating. which i don't understand. we haven't met yet, but my boyfriend already treats me like a princess. and of COURSE i love it, but he does not need to do that. i've never met anyone like him before. he's always telling me how he thinks he's the luckiest guy in the world because he's got the most gorgeous, nicest, most incredible girl he's ever known. and that he doesn't understand why i'm with him, because i'm out of his league and he thinks i could get any guy i wanted and worries that one day ill randomly drop him and go with someone better, but he's not complaining because right now he has me. we NEVER fight, and we hardly argue. and when we do, it's because of me and how i brought up the issue with us being so far apart. he asks me to stop talking like that because it upsets him and he doesn't care how far we are. i've brought it up a few times that maybe he should look for someone there, because i don't want to see him miserable or miss out on a wonderful girl who's right there for him. every single time i do, he gets really upset and gets mad at me. but it lasts for about 5 minutes, and then we're good. we can never stay mad or upset with each other. we haven't met yet. i drive, but he only has his permit. he just went to texas today to spend a week with his friend, and tomorrow i'm going to washington to visit my brother. we made plans to see each other sometime this month, but my brother wants me to stay the whole month with him. my boyfriend said it's totally fine if we don't see each other this month, that there's always another day and he'll wait because i'm worth it. he's so patient with me, and i love it. he's so sweet and caring and compassionate and everything i love and want in somebody and i'm everything he wants and more.

but, recently.. i went on facebook and saw that he's been talking to this girl at his school for a long time. and every time i have a gut feeling, or a bad feeling like something's off or something in a relationship.. it's usually right. i think he likes her. i told him about this, because i want us to be honest, and open with each other and he says no other girl exists to him but me. and that he would never cheat on me. i'm so worried about us breaking up because of the distance, and i don't want to go through that whole thing again because it was absolutely terrible the last time. am i just worrying myself or should i end this now before it gets too serious? i dont know what to do. ive never met someone like him. i feel like i can trust him and that he means what he says. but i've been wrong many times before. i know we're both young, but i can see us being together for a long time. i'm moving to new york in december, and he's going to college in new york when he graduates. should i stay with him and see how it goes? should i end it? i'm so lost. i'm so scared that i'm going to get hurt again. because i've been hurt by every other guy i've been with. i don't want to hurt him, and he said he doesn't know what he'd do if we broke up. because he's never felt like this about someone ever. and i haven't either. what should i do? any advice? thanks in advance

 

[st642]

If you feel that strongly about him and feel like you can endure the distance, then don't give up. It is very possible that there is nothing going on the girl from his school, and that they are just friends. I would think since he's been cheated on before, that he wouldn't go ahead and do that to you. But you would be a better judge of that than me. Certainly if you continue to to be worried about the girl, bring it up again if you think it's necessary. And meeting as soon as you can seems like a good idea to me. Once the two of you have met in person, maybe your feelings for each other could meet a whole different level and there will be no question of whether or not you should be together.

Best of luck. I hope it works out well and you two are happy together for a long, long time.

 

[EveWasFramed]

we met in february, and have been together since april 2nd.

we haven't met yet, but my boyfriend already treats me like a princess.

OK, I seem to be a little confused here. Have you met him in real life yet, or have you not??

 

[VanillaCreme]

See how it goes, and how it turns out. Who knows... maybe you both will end up in NY because you belong together. My gut feeling is never wrong, but you know, sometimes you just need to relax. Maybe this girl on Facebook is just a friend to him. And it's nothing you should really worry about.

---

we met in february, and have been together since april 2nd.

we haven't met yet, but my boyfriend already treats me like a princess.

OK, I seem to be a little confused here. Have you met him in real life yet, or have you not??

Eve, I think she means met online in the first one, but they haven't met met in person yet. I think. :/

 

[Lavitabella]

we met in february, and have been together since april 2nd.

we haven't met yet, but my boyfriend already treats me like a princess.

OK, I seem to be a little confused here. Have you met him in real life yet, or have you not??

we met online in february, we have not met in person yet.

 

[EveWasFramed]

we met in february, and have been together since april 2nd.

we haven't met yet, but my boyfriend already treats me like a princess.

OK, I seem to be a little confused here. Have you met him in real life yet, or have you not??

we met online in february, we have not met in person yet.

OK, that makes it more understandable then.

 

[eris]

I don't think there is anything wrong with long-distance relationships as long as everyone can handle it.

In a year you'll be 18 and out of school...then you can go to him. If you really never plan on physically seeing him in the future I don't think it would be fulfilling...

Also, maine to pennsylvania isn't that bad ( im in pa too). You can drive there in less than a day. I just did a mapquest search ( yes, I have NOTHING better to do)

and I'm not sure where you 2 are, but from pittsburgh to bangor is 13 hours 51 minutes

A few years ago I thought I was falling in love with a guy from Belgium. I had to just stop talking to him for awhile...

 

[Electric_Fusilier]

^^At least you dropped a jeans size, Eris. That's what happens to a lot of people when they stop with the Belgian waffles...

My apologies. Nicotine patches have suddenly made me very happy after the lonely horror that comes with stopping smoking. You may all just have to bear with me for a little while...

 

[Chancy]

Wow. What a tricky situation you're in. Long-distance relationships are certainly tough.

It's a risk if you continue with this relationship. Well, any relationship is a risk but I think long-distance makes it more difficult. I was in a relationship with someone online for three years and he ended up finding someone else, cheating on me then hiding it for quite some time till I found out on my own. It still hurts, even years later.

I think you should watch for the signs if you're concerned. Like, if he suddenly is busy a lot. Not turning up to talk to you and not really giving a sound reason repeatedly. Watch to see if he starts withdrawing from you emotionally. If he's not giving you the same attention that he used to. Or if he gets really defensive when you bring up the other girl. Or if suddenly he doesn't want to meet you in person so much anymore.

From what I read, your boyfriend seems to have a completely different personality than the one I dated. So the circumstances are different.

I wish you the best of luck with this.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Internet dating is bad news and meetings usually resort to ***.

Let me put it this way, they can end just as quickly as it started, capiche?

You're young just stick with your guns and school, who knows maybe you'll give that shy guy that sits by himself a chance and make his day.

That's not always the case. Non-internet relationships can end up the same exact way. Possibly even worse. I don't really see a difference in meeting someone in person somewhere, or meeting someone over the internet. You still don't really know that person, who they are or how they are. You still have to learn them and you still have to care for the relationship either way. Internet dating doesn't always equal bad news, and it's not always about ***...

 

[shells]

Internet dating is bad news and meetings usually resort to ***.

Let me put it this way, they can end just as quickly as it started, capiche?

You're young just stick with your guns and school, who knows maybe you'll give that shy guy that sits by himself a chance and make his day.

Well, my boyfriend and I initially met online, then in person a few months later. We've been together for almost three years, not counting those months we spoke online.

However, we also lived in the same city which made things so much more easier. I don't think we would have pursued a relationship if we hadn't. While not impossible, it isn't easy either. Sometimes it's difficult to go a week without seeing/visiting him.

... I'll stop prattling on about my relationship, lol.

I will agree with you that the OP should STICK WITH SCHOOL. Seriously, getting a good education is important for your future. The only other advice I have is just to keep communicating with your partner.