What's in a Name? Question for Men

[WishingWell]

Here is a question for the men. The situation is this:

You are in a relationship with a woman for quite a while. You love each other and decide to move in together, but neither of you ever want to get married.

This woman was married before, and she didn't change her name back to her maiden name and said that she never will. You knew this the entire time you were dating.

The reason she told you she didn't and still won't do this is because she didn't want to go through all the paper work it would take to change her Social Security Card, Driver's License, Credit Cards, and many other things that have her legal name on them as her married name. Also, her married name is a very short and easy one, as her maiden name is long and difficult to spell and pronounce.

Would it bother you now since you are living together? Why? And, if it would bother you, what would you do about her insisting on not changing her name back?

 

[Lost Drifter]

That wouldn’t be a problem in the slightest, maybe I’d think about it if we wanted to get married but for all other times I wouldn’t have a single concern. I’d much rather focus on the person behind the name and the relationship we’re building together.

 

[WishingWell]

You are not shallow, Lost Drifter! You can add that to the list of your good traits!

 

[kamya]

Unless we were going to get married I wouldn't care.

 

[Winterlong]

it's just a name.
names are meanignless.

 

[freedom]

it wouldn't bother me whatsoever. it's just a name. it's like asking if the fact that she was married before would bother me. not at all.

 

[user15010]

I wouldn't mind. Insisting on such a change seems like lack of respect, unless it's expected by law

 

[Ak5]

Wouldn't bother me personally.

 

[Skorian]

You would hope she would change it if it lasted. It would kind of be a statement from her that she didn't expect things to last.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Wouldn't bother me until she got married. Its far too much of a hassle to be very realistic for her to change it back to the maiden name, unfortunately or otherwise.

 

[gelnn]

Here is a question for the men. The situation is this:

You are in a relationship with a woman for quite a while. You love each other and decide to move in together, but neither of you ever want to get married.

This woman was married before, and she didn't change her name back to her maiden name and said that she never will. You knew this the entire time you were dating.

The reason she told you she didn't and still won't do this is because she didn't want to go through all the paper work it would take to change her Social Security Card, Driver's License, Credit Cards, and many other things that have her legal name on them as her married name. Also, her married name is a very short and easy one, as her maiden name is long and difficult to spell and pronounce.

Would it bother you now since you are living together? Why? And, if it would bother you, what would you do about her insisting on not changing her name back?

The past is the past... put it behind... look into the future... just love her the way she likes it... marriage is not love... marriage is just a status... love is just a feeling... but love is free and is everywhere...

 

[Sci-Fi]

I can see how that might bother some people, personally I wouldn't care.

 

[ShybutHi]

Same here personally it would not matter in the slightest.

 

[Chasm]

doesnt this depend on whether theres children involved er not?
i could c a woman keeping her name if there r
if not?
y would she?
isnt it a little ODD 2 do that?

 

[Skorian]

I realize now this is about the womans maiden name. Most keep the name until they get married again. I thought it was something else. Don't even know why anyone would expect them to change it back. At least I thought they did.

 

[IgnoredOne]

doesnt this depend on whether theres children involved er not?
i could c a woman keeping her name if there r
if not?
y would she?
isnt it a little ODD 2 do that?

The hassle of changing your name back to the maiden name is not trivial. On remarriage, though, changing your name to your new husband's surname is probably not only easier but expected.

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

You would hope she would change it if it lasted. It would kind of be a statement from her that she didn't expect things to last.

Wouldn't bother me until she got married. Its far too much of a hassle to be very realistic for her to change it back to the maiden name, unfortunately or otherwise.

I agree with this entirely, well said.

 

[Bread]

I don't see the name thing being a problem at all. After all, I'm in love, I'm in love, whoop-de-doo!

 

[IgnoredOne]

I don't see the name thing being a problem at all. After all, I'm in love, I'm in love, whoop-de-doo!

Her last name is Hugh-Jass.

 

[Bread]

Her last name is Hugh-Jass.

Reminds me of this bit from Mel Brook's 'Men in Tights':

Prince John: Such an unusual name, "Latrine." How did your family come by it?
Latrine: We changed it in the 9th century.
Prince John: You mean you changed it TO "Latrine"?
Latrine: Yeah. Used to be "*********."