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I can't my fingers are stuck together with superglue

You need to phone and order a pizza
 
I can't the company has disconnected my pizza!

You have to make me some coffee.
 
I can't a mouse chewed through a cable and there's no electricity

You need to go and do your christmas shopping
 
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I can't because I believe cats are Gods and this religion does not allow me to care for dogs. It's called Volmornism, and beliefs must be respected in this country.

(Translation: I ain't cleanin' up dog ****!)

You must change the batteries in this remote.
 
I would but I'm on my way to a remote site already

I want you to lend me some money
 
I would but gas prices are soaring lately and I'm afraid there's not enough for such frivolous pursuits.

I need you to carve me a jack-o-lantern.
 
i can't because my carving skills are so great that i'd have to keep it for myself :p

you should blow the leaves out of my yard...
 

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