When & Where Do You Feel Most Lonely?

[kinzeUK]

Pretty much all the time, from morning till night, right here in my cramped little bedroom.

And I am beyond sick of it. I had a nightmare (well I say 'nightmare', it was more just one of my completely indescribable dreams sometime this morning) where part of it was me constantly trying to fly up into the air and then plummet myself down as hard as possible into the ground in an effort to kill myself but I just couldn't. It's not unreasonable to assume that it's all my conscious and subconscious thoughts brimming over with thoughts of wanting to if not end it all, then to at least simply not exist anymore.

 

[Bubbles]

Hi, my name is Mia, I am 38 yrs and like I nightmare, I have ended up alone with my 4 yr old. I have got no friends and no family. I dont work and even though people seem to like being around me, I never want to be around them. I push everybody away.

I have noticed that the holidays are worst, Easter, X-mas, then my birhtday, mothers day etc.
And when I pass bars, restaurants and cafe's and see groups of people having a nice time. Or only two people. Anyone more than 1.

Then when I read people's blogs. When they show their pictures of their happy moments. Write about how much they love their friends and family. Good for them, but it makes me so sad.
Summer is here and people sit down the habour, outside the bars, in groups, drinking and chilling. That gets me the most.
I used to be out a lot. Always around friends, in a group. Quite popular. I had family and always had get-togethers.

I had it and didnt realise what I had. Then something happened to me, the last 6 years. I started to remember childhood traumas and I fell out with my family. I didnt want to see people at all, I felt so bad. I went on little trips on my own. Smoked a lot of cannabis to open my mind. Got into the spiritual worlds. Very deep. probably too deep. Met some weird people. But liked being on my own, in my own little world, on the internet, in my head. I changed my numbers, deactivated my facebook account. Put myself on a pidestal. Out of reach.

Now I can't stand it. I live in a town where I don't know anybody. I chat and can be quite friendly when I meet other mums in the parks or anyone out there, but I just don't want to let anyone in. I hate when my neighbourgs knock. I jump! I feel like nobody understands me, like nobody is like me, like I don't truly "click" with anyone. And that is what makes me feel so lonely.

 

[kinzeUK]

Hi, my name is Mia, I am 38 yrs and like I nightmare, I have ended up alone with my 4 yr old. I have got no friends and no family. I dont work and even though people seem to like being around me, I never want to be around them. I push everybody away.

I have noticed that the holidays are worst, Easter, X-mas, then my birhtday, mothers day etc.
And when I pass bars, restaurants and cafe's and see groups of people having a nice time. Or only two people. Anyone more than 1.

Then when I read people's blogs. When they show their pictures of their happy moments. Write about how much they love their friends and family. Good for them, but it makes me so sad.
Summer is here and people sit down the habour, outside the bars, in groups, drinking and chilling. That gets me the most.
I used to be out a lot. Always around friends, in a group. Quite popular. I had family and always had get-togethers.

I had it and didnt realise what I had. Then something happened to me, the last 6 years. I started to remember childhood traumas and I fell out with my family. I didnt want to see people at all, I felt so bad. I went on little trips on my own. Smoked a lot of cannabis to open my mind. Got into the spiritual worlds. Very deep. probably too deep. Met some weird people. But liked being on my own, in my own little world, on the internet, in my head. I changed my numbers, deactivated my facebook account. Put myself on a pidestal. Out of reach.

Now I can't stand it. I live in a town where I don't know anybody. I chat and can be quite friendly when I meet other mums in the parks or anyone out there, but I just don't want to let anyone in. I hate when my neighbourgs knock. I jump! I feel like nobody understands me, like nobody is like me, like I don't truly "click" with anyone. And that is what makes me feel so lonely.

Hi Mia, nice to 'meet' you as it were and welcome to the forum.

A lot of what you wrote is reminiscent of me as well as a lot of people as I'm sure you will find on here. I know there's a few single parents, both male and female, who have made and make very similar posts such as yours. I don't know whereabouts you hail from, but perhaps if anyone on here is near to where you are, you could strike up an online conversation on here, perhaps go into the chatrooms or even just PM somebody. I'm sure someone will no doubt comment on here if they are in a similar position.

And I do understand how much harder it is when you're a single parent (not that I am) and that it can hurt seeing such seemingly happy families when you're out and about etc. At any rate, you're amongst friends here and as I often say, there are some really great posters on here that are always about to chat or offer advice or even just to listen.

TC for now hun

 

[Bubbles]

Hi, my name is Mia, I am 38 yrs and like I nightmare, I have ended up alone with my 4 yr old. I have got no friends and no family. I dont work and even though people seem to like being around me, I never want to be around them. I push everybody away.

I have noticed that the holidays are worst, Easter, X-mas, then my birhtday, mothers day etc.
And when I pass bars, restaurants and cafe's and see groups of people having a nice time. Or only two people. Anyone more than 1.

Then when I read people's blogs. When they show their pictures of their happy moments. Write about how much they love their friends and family. Good for them, but it makes me so sad.
Summer is here and people sit down the habour, outside the bars, in groups, drinking and chilling. That gets me the most.
I used to be out a lot. Always around friends, in a group. Quite popular. I had family and always had get-togethers.

I had it and didnt realise what I had. Then something happened to me, the last 6 years. I started to remember childhood traumas and I fell out with my family. I didnt want to see people at all, I felt so bad. I went on little trips on my own. Smoked a lot of cannabis to open my mind. Got into the spiritual worlds. Very deep. probably too deep. Met some weird people. But liked being on my own, in my own little world, on the internet, in my head. I changed my numbers, deactivated my facebook account. Put myself on a pidestal. Out of reach.

Now I can't stand it. I live in a town where I don't know anybody. I chat and can be quite friendly when I meet other mums in the parks or anyone out there, but I just don't want to let anyone in. I hate when my neighbourgs knock. I jump! I feel like nobody understands me, like nobody is like me, like I don't truly "click" with anyone. And that is what makes me feel so lonely.

Hi Mia, nice to 'meet' you as it were and welcome to the forum.

A lot of what you wrote is reminiscent of me as well as a lot of people as I'm sure you will find on here. I know there's a few single parents, both male and female, who have made and make very similar posts such as yours. I don't know whereabouts you hail from, but perhaps if anyone on here is near to where you are, you could strike up an online conversation on here, perhaps go into the chatrooms or even just PM somebody. I'm sure someone will no doubt comment on here if they are in a similar position.

And I do understand how much harder it is when you're a single parent (not that I am) and that it can hurt seeing such seemingly happy families when you're out and about etc. At any rate, you're amongst friends here and as I often say, there are some really great posters on here that are always about to chat or offer advice or even just to listen.

TC for now hun

Thank you!!!! Kind words. I feel ok over admitting how lonely I am. I would rather have died ten years ago, than saying that out loud.

I live in England, so maybe this forum is far away from home, but it doesnt matter much on the internet. I had to go without the net for a year, it was driving me insane even more. Know I hold on to my laptop for dear life...lucky it has been a rainy month.

I will probably post my words here and there, or my thoughts. It feels so much better getting them all out somewhere. Loneliness is my biggest problem right now. I also like reading others thoughts. It seems to be different kinds of loneliness, I never thought I would become a lonely person. I think it is a life lesson of some sort.
I have become lonely because I can't be myself around people. I have to find out why.

 

[Gutted]

I tend not to feel lonely in any specific place or for any specific reason (like the ones listed above) I've only ever felt properly lonely once or twice in my life I think. Usually, if I am really annoyed or upset about something, that's when tiny bits of loneliness, just for a short time, can kick in. Loneliness is like an add-on to other bad emotions with me. It cannot strike me out of the blue. It has to wait for me to already be unhappy about something lol.

 

[Missing]

Weirdly,the more people I'm sarrounded with the more lonely I feel. It just reminds me of how I'm not part of any of the groups around me.Atleast when I'm alone I have a reason that I'm alone.

 

[Fitz]

Well, this weekend the loneliness hit me like a ton of bricks. It went like this.

I went to a gig over the weekend. A friend of mine asked me to go with him. He was one my few friends in school. I rarely see him so I said I'd go. We watched a match in the pub first then went to the gig. The gig started. They played soul and funk tunes which was great. He was sorta there but I didn't really care. I looked around to see where he was. Gone. I was just standing there in the middle of the dance floor with a pint in my hand. Everyone dancing around me.

The music was great, really great. But I stood there in the middle of all these people, couples kissing, hands holding hands, swaying... And the emptiness, the isolation was tearing at me like a claw, viciously ripping me to shreds. I started tearing up. I felt like bawling my eyes out. I sat down and just stared at the people dancing. A blonde girl came up to me and said something I didn't quite catch. She asked me my name and I looked up at her through the tears filling my eyeballs. This guy then taps my shoulder saying "Give the pretty girl a dance". I turn back, and she had already gone. Pretty drunk, I just shrug it off. I retreated further into myself, I thought I could disappear if I really tried.

The place starts to close up, everyone slowly starts flowing out the door. My friend is outside talking to someone. He sees me and calls me over. He tells me that some people are going to some place. I nod, and we go there. There's two guys smoking joints in the sitting room. We proceed to sit down on the couch and smoke joints. A girl comes in with her dog. She joins us. This girl is nice. She is interesting and I like her immediately. We talk for a while till people start going to bed. I get sleepy, I look beside me and my friend is asleep along with some other guy on the couch. I look up to see the girl walk out the door, to go to bed. She comes back into the room with two blankets and tucks us in. I am amazed at this act of kindness. I want to say I love you to her. Instead I say thanks very much. Then I go to sleep.

It's getting harder. I thought I could contain it, but it's getting so much worse. I wish I could help you all, I really wish I could. To quote a hero of mine, "Happiness is only real when shared". It's true. I'm only happy when it's shared with someone else. It doesn't matter who it is. I wish you all could be happy, so that I could also.

 

[thenameIwanthasgone]

HERE ! Here on this forum for lonely people !!!!

 

[5pt7art]

it usually starts from another emotion....i can start out very angry and ill end up feelin very lonely..i really dont even remember how i dealt with this throughout al my school years and im about to be 24 hopefully i can change things

 

[thenameIwanthasgone]

Everywhere
(Just thought I'd write something here,)

 

[Kate]

I feel most lonely in my own home... especially when I'm not alone.. I prefer my own company because I can be myself and not have to pretend I'm ok to make other people happy ...

 

[DVEUS]

i'm lonely at home after work yet i'm so drained from the work day that all i want to do is go straight home...like today...i have to go to the grocery store right after work and i'd rather take a beating...

 

[MissGuided]

pretty much always and everywhere for me, lol

 

[kingsfade]

I feel the most lonely at home if there's people around...especially when my roommate/best friend is here.

 

[Ak5]

At night.

 

[ladyforsaken]

At night.

Second that.

 

[Peaches]

I feel most lonely when alone at home, if I don't see any human being for days it feels like I am disappearing off the planet and I don't exist anymore, I know this comes from my childhood and it is not so, but that is the feeling.
And also, yes, I had to go to the dentist to take out a tooth and no one was there or wanted to know.

 

[Ashariel]

I actually feel the most lonely when I'm with a group of people, and I don't fit in.

But also I get this let-down feeling, after I've had a really fun social time with family or friends. After it's over, I tend to feel sad, and alone again... I'm not exactly sure why. I've gotten good at just shrugging it off, and chalking it up to my bipolar nature (what goes up must come down!) but it does always hurt a bit!

 

[Copacel]

at home i feel the most lonely at work i just think of how lonely home will be lol i need a significant other.

 

[thenameIwanthasgone]

Anywhere when I'm sober