Who from ALL would you vote for as President?

[VanillaCreme]

First female president. Barbaloot! I chooooose yoooou!

 

[Barbaloot]

A vision in productivity and efficiency....

Yet tough on disobedience...

These are things only a Barbaloot administration can offer. Vote Barbaloot 2012.
Paid for by the Friends of Barbaloot 2012 Coalition.

 

[Badjedidude]

CITIZENS, UNITE!!!

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

This is a billboard.

This is Diversity.

This is a Kitten.

And this is a man who could be just like you.

A vote for Rod is a vote for all these things, and breakfast sandwiches with commercial coffee. Vote Rod. Vote America.
Paid for by the American Society for Billboards, Diversity, Kittens, and Plainfolk Appeal.

 

[Felix]

The Rod represents the people, the power of the opressed workers!

 

[Antihero]

Me reading this thread:

Oh, and IN ROD WE TRUST.

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

Rod would like to take a moment to personally give its deepest thanks to all of its voters, as well as extend a friendly handshake to its fellow candidates. Rod looks forward to a good race.
Paid for and approved by Inanimate Carbon Rod.

 

[Badjedidude]

CITIZENS, LISTEN TO YOUR UTMOST!!!

PLEASE, VOTE FOR OTHER!!!

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

In its ever-noble fight for equality, Rod supports equal rights for all sexual orientations.

Vote Rod.
Vote for Love.

Paid for by the Rainbow Flag Nonprofit of America

 

[Felix]

Psss! haters gonna hate...

Everyone knows the rod stands for a phallic symbol of the power and drive of heterosexuality!

Still the Rod seeks the well being of minorities as well. That's why it's so popular.

 

[Badjedidude]

CITIZENS, IS THIS THE WORLD YOU WANT??

VOTE NO FOR ROD AND ITS EMPTY PHALLIC SYMBOLISM!! WOMEN UNITE UNDER OTHER!!! OTHER 2012!!

 

[Barbaloot]

Who can you trust in this election? Only Barbaloot, she's not evil. Vote Barbaloot 2012.
Paid for by the Friends of Barbaloot 2012 Coalition. ​

 

[mintymint]

That ballot was confusing. I think I accidentally voted for this man

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

A vote for Rod is a vote for pleasure. A vote for Rod is a vote for Manhood. Are phallic objects not rod-like in shape and density?

Men. Vote for ************'s sake.
Paid for by the International Phallic Objects Committee

 

[Badjedidude]

CITIZENS!!!

SAY NO TO RAMPANT PHALLICISM AND MALE CHAUVINISM!!

VOTE FOR OTHER IN 2012!!

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

Friends, where is the evidence that Rod has committed such heinous crimes? Without arms or legs, how can Rod force a man to engage in unwanted sexual intercourse? How can Rod kill? Where are the FACTS?

Vote Rod. Vote for Honesty. Vote for Truth. Vote for a justice system in which the accused is innocent until proven guilty!
Paid for by Justice John V. Doe

 

[Barbaloot]

A vote for Mr. Rod is not just a vote for male chauvinism, but for carbon rod chauvinism.

It is a well known fact that Mr. Rod will usher in a supremacy of those just like himself - of his fellow carbon rods. They will take your jobs, close down your businesses, foreclose your homes, deny you any and all rights, take your women. It will be a land without justice for anyone who is not a carbon rod.

A VOTE AGAINST MR. ROD IS A VOTE FOR EQUALITY AND JUSTICE. VOTE AGAINST MALE CHAUVINISM. VOTE AGAINST CARBON ROD CHAUVINISM. VOTE BARBALOOT. ​

 

[Badjedidude]

Citizens, Do not be misled by Rod's propaganda machine!

Paid for by Justice John V. Doe

Other needs no fancy campaign organizations to fund his ads! Especially not a sitting judge!! Is this fair politics? With Rod, you can expect corrupt government, back-scratching, and all sorts of funny business! Nepotism at its worst!! After all...

A ROD CANNOT WIELD ITSELF!!

VOTE FOR OTHER, WHO CAN OR CANNOT WIELD HIM/HERSELF!! THE CHOICE IS YOURS!!

 

[ajdass1]

OH INANIMATE CARBON ROD

you understand me

In all seriousness though, I would vote Lost Soul. He would solve all world hunger and conflict by forcing everyone to remove all their clothes, forever and ever.

 

[Peter Lorre]

I don't think we should have a president, I only believe in absolute monarchy.