Why are you a loner?

[Xelha]

I'm a loner mostly because of my shyness. And even though I've been getting better over the years, I guess I'm having trouble changing some of my old habits. These days I don't have a lot of close friends, and the ones I do have I don't get to see often, maybe once every few months at most.

A part of me seems to be scared of being social. So often I find myself avoiding people and social activities, without really even meaning to. I tell myself(and others) that I spend so much time at home due to my studies, which I suppose is partly true, but I think that secretly it's just an excuse I use to justify my behaviour.

 

[loketron]

because......leave me alone.

 

[TheWickedOne]

I also think part of my problem is that sometimes I resent having to be social. If I have too many things to do that involve other people, I really start getting crabby and wishing I could just stay home and play computer games. If its just like, say, one thing on a weekend, I'm okay. If it's say, both weekend days or several weekends in a row, I just want to start smashing things.

 

[greatman05]

I have no idea why, and it bothers me that I am. Sure, I know people, but it's never been on a level where I feel like I can completely trust them. It's just weird...I have this whole thing of "me vs. them", and I've tried changing it, but every time I try, other people give me more reasons to maintain that attitude. I guess you could call it a superiority complex, but even if it is, I've been trying to get rid of it for years, but I can't seem to find a way to...

It's definitely not good being a loner, what with the random mood swings and other bad stuff...

 

[Lost Soul]

I' not sure, I guess it's becuase no one find me attractive nor wants to around me, maybe it's becuase I'm different but even when I act normal like when I'm out and around, I have a lot of bad luck.

I found most people are mean especially attractive people, all they care about is them selves there group of friends and that's it.

 

[freedom]

i'm a loner by choice.

i've never fit in with anyone or any group except with other loners, but being loners, they would often reject me too. for the most part, people piss me off and stir up my emotions, and that's something i want to live without. people can't be trusted, and you never know anyone. my trust has been abused and broken too many times, so that's why i don't have any friends or plan on making any. i am the crucified, and earth is my condemnation.

 

[Mr. Blue]

Freedom, that's pretty much what I was going to say: By choice.

It's tough being alone sometimes, but I do have friends. Dear friends. And the sanctuary of my closed door allows me to meditate freely, ruminate on the problems I face and enjoy the silence. I'm very lucky in that I have those friends who will always be there for me, even when I leave them for days at a time just to sit and ponder and bitch at the walls. I guess I'm not a loner and probably should have thought about this before I posted, but I am a recluse at times. So I'll just use that.

A side note to freedom: sometimes it's nice to have those emotions stir within. It's a sign that you have passion inside of you. I would say embrace that, utilize your intelligence (which after reading your posts I certainly know you are intelligent) and converse with that side of you that gets angry with people. I've been there with the broken trust, but (at least for me) relationships - romantic or otherwise - are what really make me human. Just a thought, my intention was not to offend but merely to contribute. I hope that's ok.

 

[sadface]

Author Jodi Picoult summarized it best, for me.

"Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them."

 

[edgecrusher]

im a loner because i have always been shy and kind of socially akward. in high school it was because i never wanted to get into drugs or anything. i was never into sports or many guy things other than video games. now as an adult ive realized that out of the few really good friends that ive had in my life, none have really stuck around for me. maybe living like that for awhile has done this to me but now i am just not a people person. i mostly dread doing the "new people" thing which is one of the reasons i am stuck at this job i dont like anymore. i actually like the people i work with and i REALLY dont want to go to a new job and do the new people thing again.

 

[kofe]

I was born in the wrong country... When I got outside for the first time two things happened; First time I ever had a fun time with women and first time I ever felt affection or real emotions towards me.

 

[dead]

Author Jodi Picoult summarized it best, for me.

"Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them."

+1.

great quote, Sadface.

 

[Emmy]

I'm a loner because i spend my life indoors or trapped in thoughts.
Try to do things; in all the schooling & employment, all the people in my town, still haven't a friend after 20 years of being here.

Alot of it is because of the way society is structured *scapegoat probably* but even so, people don't interact. Everyone my age sleeps around or gets drunk or just generally does things that make them happy, have a laugh with life.

I never suited that, never fitted it because nobody likes the wet blanket at a party, miss depressive, miss unwanted. It's no fun for them, so they ignore you & make you feel further isolated when in actuality all it takes is some ******* effort on their behalf to incorporate you for 2 minutes & help bring your confidence up.
But no, that would require effort, that would require common decency, that would require patience & that would require just about every attribute devoid from the vast majority of people on this narcissistic violent planet.

Way i see it, you get hurt & your defence goes up. Naturally. That defensive behaviour isn't going to just vanish, only way you're gonna come through that is if someone climbs over your walls so to speak, but how many people make the effort to understand why you have the defence's up & why you have your problems, people (on mass) will not be interested, they see you as 'shy' or 'guarded' or 'hard to understand/difficult to know' or your considered 'too much effort/high maintenance'

I'm alone because nobody wants to change that.
Sure i'm my own worst enemy because i don't put myself out there anymore, but what's the point.
When your depressed the very worst thing you can possibly do to yourself is open yourself up to rejection, if your sad & go to meet people whom then reject you, that depression will skyrocket so what is the point.

In some ways, as impersonal as online is, it seems to me to be the only place where people stop & talk as opposed to reality when people are either 'too busy' to stop & make conversation or just too disinterested & otherwise oblivious to anyone else but themselves.

 

[StonedHitman]

Im a loner because I spent so much time playing games and never leaving the house it caught up to me when i got older. Elementary School I only had like 3 or 4 friends, same with Middle School, 3 or 4 friends and now in High School and have no friends. I learned to live with being a loner.

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

people suck, meh

 

[Namzii_Hash]

Because nobody ever wants to talk about anything actually interesting.

 

[André]

I'm a loner because... I don't have ANY friends, i have to do all by my own. I'm always rejected, ignored, etc... I deeply live in loneliness... But i love the loneliness! 'cause, when I'm alone, i learn more about the world, and more important: about me! I have no one to hang out, just me. That's why i'm a loner. Everywhere i go, people avoid talking to me. The reason? because I'm not as selfish as them. Nowdays, the society is all selfish, and this is a big problem. Anyway... Find a way to be happy and i think this is enough for a healthy life.

 

[Cereal]

Well, I'd rather not have a stream of friends that I rely on to make me feel better. I like having only a few people in my life that I really care about. I don't want to waste any of my valuable time socializing with people who I really do not like. I know sometimes its important to atleast try and be friendly to co-workers or other students or whatever, but it's got to the point now where I just don't want to.

 

[Broken_Doll]

During education, I made very few friends, I stayed friends with only a couple of people, both are loners like myself.
I'm really hopeless in social situations around strangers, even online, I always worry that I'm going to say something stupid/make a fool of myself so I'm just quiet. I'm shy and quiet anyway, but I'm friendly and talkative if/when people take the time to talk to me.
I prefer the company of my animals to most people I meet.
I have yet to meet somebody who shares the same hobbies.
I do not trust many people.
And probably other things...

 

[Yukhi]

I'm pretty much a loner because of the environment I was raised in. It'd probably be too long to elaborate but let's just say I really lacked understanding people in my past.

Our family's obviously dysfunctional. I was a child abuse victim, had controlling parents. I failed to really make friends during elementary and high school. I'm a dreamer to be honest and I enjoy solitary activities unless it's playing video games with someone else

 

[SilentComfort]

I have caught some unusual interests. They are hard to explain to people. I don't relate to common interests for people where i live.
It is also difficult to talk formally with people without hinting to the personal realities of my life.. which i would rather avoid unless it is the right setting for that.
But im not sure at all.