Why do I continue to meet emotionally abusive guys?

[dreamer8]

Every guy I tend to 'connect' with is seemingly emotionally exploitive. I don't see any warning signs or whatever until it's too late,and I've been 'had'.

I'm starting to feel as though I'm an open target,or will forever fall prey to men who are that way.

I think they pick up on the fact that I am lonely,or overweight...I don't know.

 

[Zackarydoo]

I get the same thing with Women. It's a sad fact that the majority of men AND women tend to be quite emotionally exploitive, and it's very hard to spot the good ones.

I can't offer advice because I'd love to know the answers too - But I just wanted to say that you're not alone in feeling this way.

 

[dreamer8]

I get the same thing with Women. It's a sad fact that the majority of men AND women tend to be quite emotionally exploitive, and it's very hard to spot the good ones.

I can't offer advice because I'd love to know the answers too - But I just wanted to say that you're not alone in feeling this way.

Thank you. I didn't mean to make it sound exclusive to men only. I don't date both sexes,so,it's just been my sole experience with men.

 

[Zackarydoo]

It's ok Dreamer, I didn't take it that way.

 

[Badjedidude]

Dreamer8, don't box yourself in! If you start to think or believe that you're an "open target," you'll project that to others around you....and those emotionally abusive guys will pick up on it, like a predator stalking the scent of their prey.

So be strong! Being lonely or overweight doesn't make you weak or abnormal. It makes you YOU. I think you should just enjoy who you are and show the world that you ARE strong and you won't be a victim. Those abusive guys don't pick on strong girls....they're whimps. They just pick on those that they think will break from the abuse...and it doesn't seem like you're broken at all.

You seem like a very nice person, thanks for coming to the site! ^_^

 

[Remedy]

I don't know anything about relationships since I never been in one but don't feel like its because you are lonely or overweight. Those guys are really just pitiful people who don't feel good about themselves, so they want to take it out on others. Being overweight is not a problem and I don't think it's the one reason it attracts these cruel guys, it has to be multiple factors. I've been attracted to girls who were overweight in the past and its definitely not weird or a problem because I know I would not treat these girls the way some guys do (the abusive ones).

 

[The-One]

Because you haven't yet found a guy whom YOU ARE able to emotionally exploit. Be strong, it's war and might is right.

 

[Steel]

Because you haven't yet found a guy whom YOU ARE able to emotionally exploit. Be strong, it's war and might is right.

Lmao! I've never heard anything so ridiculous. *Still laughing*

 

[EveWasFramed]

Yes, yes, I concur, Dr. Steel. lmao

 

[Lonesome Crow]

stop playing the victim role...i guess.

please give yourself a break. if you have been hurted. Give yourself time to heal.
Your thinking will be clearer if you heal. Be very gental and loving to yourself during these times.

 

[The-One]

Because you haven't yet found a guy whom YOU ARE able to emotionally exploit. Be strong, it's war and might is right.

Lmao! I've never heard anything so ridiculous. *Still laughing*

Just *what* is so ridiculous about that statement? I stand by my sincerity.

 

[dreamer8]

Badjedidude and Remedy,thank you for your responses. I appreciate them.

 

[Steel]

Well, The-One, I'm sure you do, lol. It's just that your statement is complete and utter garbage; the kind of thing an emotional abuser would say to justify their own cruelty.

I know it's your ignorance talking, but relationships aren't based on manipulation. Not proper relationships anyway. Yes, I've had relationships with women in the past where they have tried it, but you come to realise that it's something done by the emotionally immature and insecure - and has nothing to do with a relationship, and everything to do with trying to own a person.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Dreamer...

The best thing that you can do for yourself is to learn to recognize these kinds of behaviors so you can protect yourself in the future. Learn from your mistakes - we all make them.

 

[Steel]

Yes, I agree with Eve. Once you've been through it a couple of times, it will get easier to spot people like that. Remember, Dreamer, that it's THEM at fault, and not you.

 

[dreamer8]

Well, The-One, I'm sure you do, lol. It's just that your statement is complete and utter garbage; the kind of thing an emotional abuser would say to justify their own cruelty.

I know it's your ignorance talking, but relationships aren't based on manipulation. Not proper relationships anyway. Yes, I've had relationships with women in the past where they have tried it, but you come to realise that it's something done by the emotionally immature and insecure - and has nothing to do with a relationship, and everything to do with trying to own a person.

I never said they were based on manipulation. I simply said that I continue to meet the same types. I don't appreciate you calling me ignorant,Steel. Yes,I realize it's the PERSON. I haven't been in a ton of relationships,but I'm smart enough to know that having your feelings exploited isn't what real relationships are all about.

 

[The-One]

Well, The-One, I'm sure you do, lol. It's just that your statement is complete and utter garbage; the kind of thing an emotional abuser would say to justify their own cruelty.

I know it's your ignorance talking, but relationships aren't based on manipulation. Not proper relationships anyway. Yes, I've had relationships with women in the past where they have tried it, but you come to realise that it's something done by the emotionally immature and insecure - and has nothing to do with a relationship, and everything to do with trying to own a person.

I never said they were based on manipulation. I simply said that I continue to meet the same types. I don't appreciate you calling me ignorant,Steel. Yes,I realize it's the PERSON. I haven't been in a ton of relationships,but I'm smart enough to know that having your feelings exploited isn't what real relationships are all about.

QFT because I just LOLed.

 

[Remedy]

I never said they were based on manipulation. I simply said that I continue to meet the same types. I don't appreciate you calling me ignorant,Steel. Yes,I realize it's the PERSON. I haven't been in a ton of relationships,but I'm smart enough to know that having your feelings exploited isn't what real relationships are all about.

You misunderstood dreamer. He wasn't calling you ignorant, he was just replying to the One's post. Or at least I'm pretty sure that who he was responding to.

 

[Steel]

I never said they were based on manipulation. I simply said that I continue to meet the same types. I don't appreciate you calling me ignorant,Steel. Yes,I realize it's the PERSON. I haven't been in a ton of relationships,but I'm smart enough to know that having your feelings exploited isn't what real relationships are all about.

Err, I didn't call you ignorant, I was replying to "The-One", as the opening paragraph states.

 

[dreamer8]

My mistake. I misread. Shipoopie happens. -shrug-
Plus,I'm a little disoriented. I just woke up from a nap.
x_x
Please don't think I'm a jerk.