Why do people have to cheat?

[cwalton1987]

Hey. A couple of days ago I found out my now X girl friend has been cheating on me.

I could never do this to some one I am meant to be in love with?
Why can't people just end a relation ship instead of lies and cheating?

PS do not worry I am fine.

 

[Rosebolt]

I haven't been cheated on nor have cheated on others (so can't really relate), but i think it's fear. I understand why people cheat, because they miss something in the relationship they currently have, and look for it elsewhere. I guess reason for the secrecy depends on the person and situation. Could be fear, or .. i can't really think of something else, but i'm sure there are many other reasons for it.

I hope this helps somewhat.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I guess because they'd rather not face the truth. For the same reason why people would lie about anything. Don't want to really face the realization that what they once felt is no longer there. Perhaps guilt over it even.

 

[ardour]

That would assume cheating preempts the end of the relationship.

I've never really understood it, in the same I've never understood abusing the person you're with.

 

[Jenifer]

Hi! About 2 weeks time I found out that my best friend is sleeping with my boyfriend. And trust me, we were living together. 3 years. Don't worry , things like that happen all the time. If you need somebody to talk with, I am here!

 

[CHSlater]

I have a lot of friends who are in a relationship (most of them are in one for like more than 5 year). They ALWAYS come to some brand new story of a girl who they're having sex (cheating their gf). I've questioned them a bunch of times in order to know why they do this so much "why do you guys enter in a 'serious' relationship if you don't take it seriously?", they always answer the same "I get tired of the same girl".

I think it's something related to the fact that some people just can't appreciate what they have at the moment and maybe only if they hadn't. I don't simply buy it that "one only cheats if the partner doesn't give him/her the love he/she needs". I just can't stand it, although I see it happening all the time.

I don't know, it seems like cheating isn't a big deal for some people.

 

[stork_error]

they do it because sex is absent or lousy
they do it because they think the other person is cheating or going to leave them
they do it out of loneliness or need to feel connected to someone
they do it because they need ego gratification
they do it because they enjoy making their partner weak, needy and powerless
they do it because their culture says its normal
they do it for revenge
they do it for an excuse to break up
they do it because their religion says its normal
they do it because they are no longer capable of bonding to another human due to being cheated on themselves.

 

[TheRealCallie]

No one is saying because they are a selfish *******. Well, it's a theory.

 

[Rosebolt]

^ It's a possibility.

 

[Pike Creek]

Cowardliness and/or arrogance.

They don't want to lose the comfort of their lives with their mate, but no longer feel sexually/emotionally attracted to him or her so they seek out another person for that need instead of doing the decent thing, being honest and letting their mate move on to better things...in other words, see above first phrase.

That's what open marriages/relationships are for, and if one partner or the other does not want monogamy, they should put that on the table before hurting the other person, but that rarely happens unfortunately.

 

[cwalton1987]

I am going with because they are arse holes.

 

[stork_error]

Who wants to post stats?

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^Be more specific pls. What stats?

 

[Littlesecret]

Because people are greedy and spineless!

 

[Disaffected]

They find better.

 

[ladyforsaken]

They find better.

I think so too. They find better.

And that when that happens it's like their current one means nothing to them.. no matter how much they deny that, it kind of equates to that. And I think that's painful for the one being cheated on.. especially if they really did love the person who cheated and never expected it at all. That is probably one of the worst feelings of hurt and pain, ever.

 

[Ymir]

They find better.

I think so too. They find better.

And that when that happens it's like their current one means nothing to them.. no matter how much they deny that, it kind of equates to that. And I think that's painful for the one being cheated on.. especially if they really did love the person who cheated and never expected it at all. That is probably one of the worst feelings of hurt and pain, ever.

Yeaaaah. I don't think this is the case 100% of the times -- people aren't perfect and just screw up sometimes -- but it's a big percentage. I've seen so many people my age "settling" just because they wanted a partner and then cheating on said partner, just flat out acting like the relationship was nothing.

Of course I am young, though I don't see this pattern changing once I get into adulthood tbh.

 

[ABrokenMan]

Imagine being cheated on x 5 during the span of six months. I had no idea.
She first told me after a few glasses of wine via our nightly phone calls after our first month being together but was ambiguous, only to say she 'had relations'.
Being that we were just getting started after many months of e-mails and phone chats prior to our first meeting in person, I sort of brushed it off, as she said it was just nothing / meant nothing with the ex BF who kept coming around.
Of course, she assured me that she loved me, and asked me to forgive her. Since we lived about 2 - 3 hours apart, it shook my confidence a little, but I had fallen under her spell by then.
Thought things were going to be OK, but then two surprise e-mails directly sent from two of her "close friends (lovers) painted a different picture. And to top it off she got pregnant by a one-night drunken stand.
One of the e-mails revealed that she is a diagnosed bipolar hypersexual. Found out there were 5 different lovers spending time with her. No wonder she liked our long distance relationship. I now understand the workings of bipolar people, and try to be understanding, but this...this was just something I had never ever experienced.
I was absolutely crushed. She insisted our relationship didn't have to change. But she ended up turning away from me anyway.
And people wonder why I don't smile anymore.

 

[the_ice_man]

Hey. A couple of days ago I found out my now X girl friend has been cheating on me.

I could never do this to some one I am meant to be in love with?
Why can't people just end a relation ship instead of lies and cheating?

PS do not worry I am fine.

There can be a few reasons why people cheat, but lets be clear here. We are talking about sex, so that's why they are going with someone else. Sex for some people can get pretty boring after a while! Quite often the passion is no longer there (or maybe never was) and they are constantly looking for that. They are settling in the mean time, but secretly waiting for someone more exciting to come along.

 

[stork_error]

^^^Be more specific pls. What stats?

statistics on cheating
The who's the whys and the numbers