Why do you feel it is hard to make/keep friends?

[PoWer2tHePeOpLE]

i reckon it's because i am lazy and just plain **** at it.

 

[Twitchy]

To answer this question more objectively:

Fear, doubt, mistrust and misunderstanding. I don't have any insight on making friends, but I suspect that these are all things people could do without most of the time.

 

[PoWer2tHePeOpLE]

hmm.. to expand on 'just **** at it', i would add that i am not entirely sure i actually want friends.. to refer to the great psychological champion of the 21st century, Dr Phil.. he has said that there is somekind of payoff for every behaviour we engage in.. so to socialize with other people there has to be a payoff.. er.. like the joy of sharing, human connection etc.. maybe my payoff is not very strong and the time and effort extended towards trying to connect with others isn't a great deal better or more rewarding than spending the entire day alone entertaining my own mind/body in whatever way i choose..

hmm.. but then human interaction just sometimes seems like a chore or worse just plainly gives me the *****.. there is so much diplomacy that is needed when interacting with humans.. senses and intuition must be engaged.. and all the energy that is used to 'read' situations and people.. i don't mean 'analyse' them.. i consider myself to be empathetic and compassionate as best as i can and i know when i am in the company of people i try to be thoughtful and considerate and kind.. which of course means there is energy expenditure involved in the interaction.. i get tired.

who knows.. maybe i inherited certain traits from my mother.. i am like her in many ways.. so maybe i have a little chronic fatigue in the same way she does.. my father was a social nutter, he could talk for hours on end and to absolutely anyone.. he could talk a wall into crumbling basically.. maybe my exhaustion with human interaction is genetic?

i have had 4 best friends in my life.. one is still with me, but i really just couldn't be arsed seeking out more friends at this point in my life.. it could be worse of course, i could have no family, no job and failing health..

i am grateful for what i do have.

 

[Ridin Solo]

I'm paranoid around my family too... and my old group of friends before I ditched them. I'm absolutely convinced my father tries to break me down psychologically and sabotage any potential friendship/relationship I try to make... I have too much evidence that disproves the contrary.

That aside, I think my biggest problem is turning acquaintances into friends. I don't have too much difficulty making acquaintances. I made a few this passed semester in college and they were people I'd enjoy hanging around. I just didn't have the courage to ask them out to a bar or something. I feel like I'd be crossing a personal boundary or infringing on their present social life making for an awkward situation.

The other thing is once I get one friend I have to prove to them I'm normal aka that I already have a social life. This mentality has really crippled me in making new friends ever since cutting ties with my old group.

 

[Splenda-Kills]

1. Welcome to ALL, Splenda x3
2. Rap </3
3. Sorry, once again. =p
4. I think you should go reconcile(?) with that friend of yours, I think he have some stuff to say. Maybe some begging too, ya' never know.
5. Back on topic; I only need one person; a mate. Other than that I don't want anyone else.

1. Eheh. Thanks. x3
2. SENKYUU
3. Sorry? For what?
4. Well it would be easier to do if this person would get the hell online...>w>
5. CHEESY. xp