Why don't you girls get a clue!!

[Enchanted Girl]

I LOVE WOMEN.

There are as many dumbfuck moron men as there are women.

No generalizations, prease, thankuvrymuch.

I agree with this post and I read this whole thread and I have a lot to say about it.

First of all, I do think the opening post has a point. An old standard that society likes to cling to in relationships is that men are supposed to be the bosses and in control of the relationship. The problem is, if women actually follow this, then it forces men to take all the responsibility in relationships as well.

I am a feminist. I love how that one guy asked someone if they were a feminist as if it were a bad thing. =/ It isn't.

Part of me being a feminist means me believing that relationships are a partnership. I was raised to believe that my husband should be the most responsible and in control person in the relationship, but I don't actually practice that. My boyfriend does not pay for all the dates or anything. In fact, we have a long distance relationship and I'm usually the one who plays for all the plane tickets, not him. And it doesn't bother me. I don't expect him to buy me presents all the time or initiate all our conversations or whatever. I recognize that putting all the responsibility on one person in the relationship is a bad idea.

That being said . . . . . I do personally pay for all the plane tickets myself. And he does start all the conversations (and keep them going) himself. Neither of these things are "fair" and I don't believe relationships are about being "fair" and tallying up points. (For instance: "I did this for you, so you better do this!") They are about people giving to the relationship what they have to give to it and helping each other in their weaknesses. Everyone is an individual and needs different things. It's about finding a compatible match where you can fulfill each other's needs. Not about us all living up to a standard where all of us spend exactly half the amount of money and work maintaining a relationship. Because people make different amounts of money and have different levels of emotional maturity and things.

My boyfriend is poor and has a lot more bills than me. So it's easier for me to spend *my* money on the relationship. He is more confident than me and has an easier time talking, so *he* keeps the conversations going.

Relationships are a partnership. Where two people are on the same team. When relationships become unbalanced, in my opinion, it's because both people or one person stops wanting to be on the same team and be there for each other/the other person. Not because one person provides more for the relationship than the other. Because let me tell you . . . . . there's been times when I've given more and my boyfriend has given more and it doesn't really matter . . . . . because life and relationships aren't always fair. The problems came when one of us stopped wanting to be a partner in the relationship and stopped wanting to try for it. Not because one of us paid a little more than the other or one of us gave a bit more emotionally. You don't really love someone if you're only giving to them with expectation of certain things in return.

Also, that whole idea that women want to be treated like crap is stupid. I hate the trend where people insist that this is true. Yes, some women only date men who treat them like crap and some men only date women that treat them like crap, too! It's not a gender thing as much as you think!

I had this friend in high school that was a huge youknowwhat. And she was pretty ugly too to tell you the truth, but she treated guys like crap (always rejecting them and calling them perverts and morons) and they were always all over her! Doing anything they could to win her over to liking them. I had no guys at all liking me, but guys did used to come up to me constantly asking about her and what chance they had with her.

Basically, people who are this way have no discernment and if you find yourself only noticing girls who are mean and bad girlfriends, you may lack discernment as well and need to take some time to analyze yourself and your choices and who you notice.

Because all girls aren't the same way. Yes, I've met a ton of guys who are perverted jerks who just use girls all the time. I didn't date them, but since I've always been an "ugly" girl, they've never had a problem talking about how sick and horrible they are in front of me. I could make a thread talking about it and saying that all men are the same, but I know that's not true. In fact, I'm pretty sure that all the horrible men are just always the loudest ones (because they are so demanding) and that's why it can sometimes be hard to see all the good guys out there because they're not usually bragging to their friends about how nice of a boyfriend they are.

But good guys do exist and so do good girls.

Homosexual men and women don't have better relationships than the rest of us. They go through all the same crap the rest of us do. And get hurt in the same ways. I definitely don't think my experiences would have been any better if I was a lesbian. And you wouldn't have a better experience if you were gay because it's not a "girl" problem, it's a people problem. People suck.

Also, like someone else said, related to the fact that everyone has a free will and no matter how much love you put into someone, you can't force them to return all the same feelings in return. Dating is an adventure where you constantly make yourself vulnerable and hope that someone . . . somewhere out there . . . . out of their own free will (because without free will, there can be no true love) . . . . will return your feelings as strongly as you feel for them. It's about being rejected over and over again and being hurt until you find that one person. And it sucks, but if you don't let yourself get bitter and keep going, you'll find the one you are looking for. If you let yourself get discouraged and stereotype women though . . . . it will be next to impossible for you to emotionally connect with one of them.