Why would someone say this?

[oceangirl]

OK, so the last person I dated which turned out to be a disaster, well he also said something else that's been bothering me. He rents out a room in his house to someone who happens to be male. I mentioned that I might at some point want to rent out the extra bedroom in my place, but I'm not sure yet (I really don't want to, but it would be nice to have the extra money). Well he told me don't have a female roommate, there's too much drama. I couldn't believe he said that to me. I was actually sitting there thinking did he just say that or did I imagine it? I didn't even respond to it. I guess he just doesn't have a "filter" on what he says and just says anything that pops into his head. So there's another reason why I didn't want to see him again and was surprised I heard from him after that first time. I guess no one would know why he said that and I'm mainly just venting, but stuff like that really makes me want to stay alone forever.

 

[sothatwasmylife]

Maybe he was just offering an opinion....and it wasn't directed at you...to be honest I don't think that would make any sense anyway.... cos it's not as if you were seeking to rent a room in his house....or have I completely missed the point ?

 

[ringwood]

Hmmmm...well, I would think it was meant as nothing more than a casual remark based on his experiences, nothing more than that, and certainly wasn't meant to be offensive. I've actually had similar experiences too with both male/female room-mates - personally, I found the men far easier to live with (I'm a woman). Each to his own. I wouldn't put too much worry into it.

 

[NightHawkJohn]

Sounds rather ignorant painting every women with the same brush after some limited experience he has had shows that hes got problems lol.

I think with renting you can equally have either sex be either brilliant or awful and its just a case of finding a good one.

Also don't let him make you feel that all guys are like that just takes time to sort through the rough ones to find a good one .

 

[oceangirl]

Well how about if I ended up as his roommate, as in if we got married or lived together as more than just roommates? I wasn't going out with him with the initial intention of just being friends, although I do have some male friends. So would I end up causing too much drama? That's the way I took it, that he has a problem with females in general and thinks all females cause too much drama. How would he like it if I said don't have a male roommate because they're all slobs? Anyway, we had nothing in common besides that, so it doesn't really matter at this point. I just thought it was a strange thing to say.

And I'm actually just lonely enough that I'm almost thinking of contacting him again, like this was my last chance to meet someone and I should just take what I get. That's how people end up in bad relationships that they can't get out of though. And I have a hard time making decisions and can't tell if someone is really right for me or not or if I'm just being too picky, so that makes it even worse.

 

[Peaches]

I think if you live together in his mind is a different universe compared to the roommate….

 

[sothatwasmylife]

Well how about if I ended up as his roommate, as in if we got married or lived together as more than just roommates? I wasn't going out with him with the initial intention of just being friends, although I do have some male friends. So would I end up causing too much drama? That's the way I took it, that he has a problem with females in general and thinks all females cause too much drama. How would he like it if I said don't have a male roommate because they're all slobs? Anyway, we had nothing in common besides that, so it doesn't really matter at this point. I just thought it was a strange thing to say.

And I'm actually just lonely enough that I'm almost thinking of contacting him again, like this was my last chance to meet someone and I should just take what I get. That's how people end up in bad relationships that they can't get out of though. And I have a hard time making decisions and can't tell if someone is really right for me or not or if I'm just being too picky, so that makes it even worse.

Yeah but I would imagine it was said within the context of females who rent....have no attachment to him....are maybe inclined to bring home the occasional stray male or create drama by way of their relationships..shouting at some poor sod of a boyfriend for some imagined or otherwise slight...shouting that he is subjected to.

 

[oceangirl]

Well I guess it doesn't really matter because I didn't like him much otherwise anyway. I doubt I'll contact him again unless I tell him we can be just friends and I'm not sure I even want to be friends with him. I'm just feeling especially bad because of the holidays. Thanks for the replies.

 

[sothatwasmylife]

Yep lonlyness does seem to have sharper teeth at this time of year...Hope 2015 produces a rainbow for you, All I need is a room somewhere, lots of coal producing lots of heat...someone's head resting on my knee, warm and tender as he can be etc...think the lyrics have gone wildly adrift...but you get the general intention.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Well he told me don't have a female roommate, there's too much drama.

1. Maybe a past bad experience?
2. Maybe he was a flaming misogynist?
3. Maybe he's emotionally stunted and thinks normal displays of emotions are "drama?"
4. Maybe he rented to a female nutter?

 

[ardour]

That's the way I took it, that he has a problem with females in general and thinks all females cause too much drama. How would he like it if I said don't have a male roommate because they're all slobs? Anyway, we had nothing in common besides that, so it doesn't really matter at this point. I just thought it was a strange thing to say.

Well it wasn't exactly a well thought through comment to make. You can take it as a sign of bitterness or just a throwaway comment based off personal experience. I wouldn't get offended at men being labelled slobs by the way, because frankly we do have a tendency to be slobs.

 

[stork_error]

Well he told me don't have a female roommate, there's too much drama.

1. Maybe a past bad experience?
2. Maybe he was a flaming misogynist?
3. Maybe he's emotionally stunted and thinks normal displays of emotions are "drama?"
4. Maybe he rented to a female nutter?

I like this answer, with all the potential variables. 2 and 3 are concerning. May need another date to be sure. However, verbalizing the comment itself can/does come across a bit dick-ish

 

[Seeker_2.0]

Well, all my female friends did confess to me at some point that living with a female roommate really is too much drama. I think that the mistake this guy did was telling you, though, it's not his business if you want to share your apartment with someone, just like i never told it to anyone I know.

 

[SofiasMami]

OK, so the last person I dated which turned out to be a disaster....I couldn't believe he said that to me. I was actually sitting there thinking did he just say that....So there's another reason why I didn't want to see him again....

Who knows why he said it but you're overthinking things about this person - reading through what you think about this fellow - for the love of all that is holy, don't call or text him again. Someone who makes you doubt yourself is not worth your time.

-Teresa

 

[constant stranger]

He voiced his opinion of the female race, oceangirl. It sounds like his mind is made up and if he's a bit offensive now, it's unlikely to be any different in the future.

Go out with someone else.

 

[Frodothelost]

maybe he had seen bi people or he have reading something weird of girls to girls . im not sure. maybe he dont trust at all. or he has something weird past with it.