women wanting me as a friend only

[putter65]

I've got 2 women friends now. Both are in relationships, yet they seem to want to be friends with me.

One of them I ignored for awhile but we met up last week and she wants me to keep in touch. She also wants to play golf with me when the weather gets better. We played a bit last year. (Golf is main hobby by the way !)

The other one is that 'fake holiday woman' - she answers my texts straight away and when I suggest a meeting she always says 'yes' - yet I know she is in a relationship with some other guy.

I'm not complaining, at least I have some friends. But I wonder why they still want to know me. Do women like having male friends ? And what is it about me that makes them want me just as a friend ?

 

[Callie]

I am a lot more comfortable around guys than I am girls. The majority of my friends have always been guys. Women are too........hmm.........whiny and "Girly" for my tastes really. So yes, a lot of women do enjoy having men as friends.
A friend is a friend, regardless of the gender, look at it that way instead of looking at it as them not wanting to date you. Not everyone will want to date you, but it says something that they want to be your friend. Run with that.

 

[putter65]

I am a lot more comfortable around guys than I am girls. The majority of my friends have always been guys. Women are too........hmm.........whiny and "Girly" for my tastes really. So yes, a lot of women do enjoy having men as friends.
A friend is a friend, regardless of the gender, look at it that way instead of looking at it as them not wanting to date you. Not everyone will want to date you, but it says something that they want to be your friend. Run with that.

yes i think your right, better than nothing !

 

[Okiedokes]

Yep, although girls for friends are nice too..so are guys. It's more laid back or something. Don't have to worry about any talk behind your back or being weird. lol

 

[ajdass1]

When it comes to people my age I tend to make friends with women more easily, for some reason. I can't stand it when things get too dudebroey. There's definitely mutual attraction with some of my female friends, I think it makes the relationship more interesting in some ways. It's good having a variety of friends.

 

[Limlim]

I like putting my penis into women. It feels nice.

 

[Callie]

OH OH OH, I'm a woman :O

 

[Ak5]

Are you asking why you're feeling like you're being "friend zoned"? Has any one of them deliberately said to you that you're only a friend? Maybe they want to be your friend, or maybe that one girl likes you.

The only way to know is to continue hanging out and send clear signals lol.

 

[putter65]

Are you asking why you're feeling like you're being "friend zoned"? Has any one of them deliberately said to you that you're only a friend? Maybe they want to be your friend, or maybe that one girl likes you.

The only way to know is to continue hanging out and send clear signals lol.

One is engaged. We were friends last year when she was single. I did ask her out and she said 'no' - few months later she suddenly developed an interest in golf. We met a few times, once she was my caddy. I was a bit confused to be honest. She wanted to spend time with me but only as a friend it seemed. Last week while we were having coffee, I clearly told her that I used to have feelings. This didn't put her off and she is talking about playing golf again.

The other, I was seeing her before xmas. We kissed and I considered her as my girlfriend. Now, although she hasn't mentioned it, she is seeing some other fella. I don't know why she wants me hanging around her. I just go round her house for a coffee once a week. I always give her the option in my texts to say 'no' - I say 'would you like me to pop down ?' - and she replies 'yes' - and she usually invites me down the following week.

I know I should have nothing to do with her after what she did at xmas but I enjoy female company and it is easy to ask her and she usually says 'yes'. If she didn't want me to see her she would say wouldn't she ?

 

[SophiaGrace]

You're an ego boost for them.

 

[Felix]

You're an ego boost for them.

^THIS.

Also welcome to the beta club, we have videogames and cookies

 

[putter65]

You're an ego boost for them.

is that good or bad ?

 

[ajdass1]

You're an ego boost for them.

is that good or bad ?

I think "You're an ego boost for them" is a cynical way to look at it, to be honest. Is it too much to believe that a member of the 'opposite' sex just happens to enjoy your company and would like to spend time with you?

I wouldn't worry about it. Why not just enjoy their company? As long as it's clear that you're both in each others' friend zones I don't think there should be any problems (apart from the usual problems that can happen between friends of any gender).

 

[putter65]

You're an ego boost for them.

is that good or bad ?

I think "You're an ego boost for them" is a cynical way to look at it, to be honest. Is it too much to believe that a member of the 'opposite' sex just happens to enjoy your company and would like to spend time with you?

I wouldn't worry about it. Why not just enjoy their company? As long as it's clear that you're both in each others' friend zones I don't think there should be any problems (apart from the usual problems that can happen between friends of any gender).

People can be cynical.

Regarding the woman who is enagaged. I talked about her to people at work last year. Most of them said she was using me and I shouldn't keep in touch. Some begged me.

I wrote about her on forums and people wrote back saying 'she is using you' etc.

I acted on people's advice and stopped replying to her messages. This was in January and she was upset. After a short exchange on facebook I thought that was it. Anyway I had a think about things and changed my mind. When we met for coffee it was obvious she was keen to be friends.

The other one, people have been roughly the same. Even though I tell them I am lonely and I don't have many friends, they say I shouldn't have anything to do with her. But I don't see the harm if it's the odd text and occasional visit.

 

[Fragile]

I find myself in the same situation. (2 female friends in relationships.) I think they like my companionship cause I'm neither male nor female in my dominant charactheristiscs.

 

[putter65]

I find myself in the same situation. (2 female friends in relationships.) I think they like my companionship cause I'm neither male nor female in my dominant charactheristiscs.

no idea why they want me hanging around. Both were single last year when I knew them. I am not boyfriend material apparantly.

There are a few others who I text or friends on my facebook. Same story.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Okay I'm going to take a different tack.

Maybe your gift in life is to be a good friend. Maybe that's what you are good at. Maybe that's what you have to offer people. Good friends are far and few inbetween. People do cherish good friends (or at least I'd hope they would). So, maybe this is what you are good at, being there for people and being supportive and caring, just not on a romantic level. So, I guess, focus on this. Be the best damned friend out there because true friends are hard to find!

I also want to say though, that because of your selflessness. Because, Putter, you ARE selfless, people will try to use you. Please, when this occurs (and it will and has occured) stand up for yourself. You are a human being with a right to be treated with dignity and respect.

 

[The Good Citizen]

I agree with Sophia, you need to make sure they don't take advantage.

You have these 2 friends though so knowing you can reach that point with a woman should show make you realise its only a few steps on from that to meeting someone who wants more. Don't rest on your laurels, they are both attached anyway. Keep looking.

 

[putter65]

Okay I'm going to take a different tack.

Maybe your gift in life is to be a good friend. Maybe that's what you are good at. Maybe that's what you have to offer people. Good friends are far and few inbetween. People do cherish good friends (or at least I'd hope they would). So, maybe this is what you are good at, being there for people and being supportive and caring, just not on a romantic level. So, I guess, focus on this. Be the best damned friend out there because true friends are hard to find!

I also want to say though, that because of your selflessness. Because, Putter, you ARE selfless, people will try to use you. Please, when this occurs (and it will and has occured) stand up for yourself. You are a human being with a right to be treated with dignity and respect.

thanks your kind words.

One of them sent me a text today saying she has got a new job. So I am important to her in some ways.

 

[Felix]

You're an ego boost for them.

is that good or bad ?

There are advantages to having female friends. It could be a first step to having a girlfriend in the sense that you get to know women more. you'll probably notice the diferences in tought between the sexes more, this is valuable info! that you can use later when you want to pick up women or while working towards a relationship with one.

While the ego boost part is probably true, it also goes the opposite way. There are women now who are paying atention to you. They might not be giving you sex, but at least you got their atention. That should lift up your self steem.

Just beware of the 'tricks' they might try on you... For example attempts to 'feminize' you. At least that's been my experience... in every relationship there is a point when you have to stand up to the other person. Make sure you are respected as a man.