women wanting me as a friend only

[SophiaGrace]

You're an ego boost for them.

is that good or bad ?

There are advantages to having female friends. It could be a first step to having a girlfriend in the sense that you get to know women more. you'll probably notice the diferences in tought between the sexes more, this is valuable info! that you can use later when you want to pick up women or while working towards a relationship with one.

While the ego boost part is probably true, it also goes the opposite way. There are women now who are paying atention to you. They might not be giving you sex, but at least you got their atention. That should lift up your self steem.

Just beware of the 'tricks' they might try on you... For example attempts to 'feminize' you. At least that's been my experience... in every relationship there is a point when you have to stand up to the other person. Make sure you are respected as a man.

What sorts of things might they do to feminize?

Why should feminization be seen as a bad thing?

Are you implying being feminine (re: being a woman, or being the societal construct of one) is bad or weak?

Are you saying I'm a second class citizen because of my gender?

 

[Felix]

You're an ego boost for them.

is that good or bad ?

There are advantages to having female friends. It could be a first step to having a girlfriend in the sense that you get to know women more. you'll probably notice the diferences in tought between the sexes more, this is valuable info! that you can use later when you want to pick up women or while working towards a relationship with one.

While the ego boost part is probably true, it also goes the opposite way. There are women now who are paying atention to you. They might not be giving you sex, but at least you got their atention. That should lift up your self steem.

Just beware of the 'tricks' they might try on you... For example attempts to 'feminize' you. At least that's been my experience... in every relationship there is a point when you have to stand up to the other person. Make sure you are respected as a man.

What sorts of things might they do to feminize?

Why should feminization be seen as a bad thing?

Are you implying being feminine (re: being a woman, or being the societal construct of one) is bad or weak?

Are you saying I'm a second class citizen because of my gender?

1) Well my female friends sometimes wanted me to put on a bra, another time they wanted to put make up in my face... to say some rather extreme examples of feminization. Then there are more subtile ways that could lead a man to become just another girlfriend, in the worst case scenario... maybe many of this things are just becose my own friends are a bit crazy, idk, but I guess it could happen. Putter65's friends are probably older and that might make less likely that they have this inmature behaviour.

2) It shuold be seen as a bad thing whan is too invading. One thing is to be sensitive, be able to understand other people's feelings and stuff... Another thing is when theye want to walk all over ************. Thats unaceptable. And no girl feels attracted to a feminized man.

3) No.

4) Yes. lol, NO, plz. How did you even come up to that conclusion? I'm just trying to talk about the 'dangers' (and also the possitive aspects) of a male having female friends. I actually have some experience, 4 female friends... so I think I can share my conclusions... No one has to agree really... I realize this distinctions between sexes create disconfort in you and other members of the forum... But I think is important to deal with the diferences. It's hard for a man to understand a woman's mind, and the other way around, that's for sure. Sharing experiences always helps.

 

[SophiaGrace]

wow make up and bras? Really?



Omg.


LOL!


Mind boggling.

 

[Felix]

I actually tried the bra but it wouldn't fit because of my huge, manly back

 

[ajdass1]

People can be cynical.

Regarding the woman who is enagaged. I talked about her to people at work last year. Most of them said she was using me and I shouldn't keep in touch. Some begged me.

I wrote about her on forums and people wrote back saying 'she is using you' etc.

I acted on people's advice and stopped replying to her messages. This was in January and she was upset. After a short exchange on facebook I thought that was it. Anyway I had a think about things and changed my mind. When we met for coffee it was obvious she was keen to be friends.

The other one, people have been roughly the same. Even though I tell them I am lonely and I don't have many friends, they say I shouldn't have anything to do with her. But I don't see the harm if it's the odd text and occasional visit.

I tend to be optimistic about people (perhaps too much?) so I was replying from that point of view.

It sounds like you respect the opinions of your friends but ultimately made up your own mind to keep seeing her, which I think is a good place to be. However like Sophia and the others have said, just be aware if things start becoming unequal. For example make sure you're not paying all the time, make sure you're not bending over backwards for them all the time, and such.

I don't want to turn this into a gender socialisation discussion because the thread will just go off-topic. But it's just untrue that no girls feel attracted to feminized men. Just like it's untrue that no men feel attracted to masculine women. What is 'manhood,' anyway? I don't think it's bad to be 'just another girlfriend' - not if you don't mind, anyway (if you're sitting there haplessly lusting after her, then it's another matter). Why is being feminized dangerous? I'm not trying to start an argument or anything, I just don't understand it and felt I should share that.

 

[putter65]

People can be cynical.

Regarding the woman who is enagaged. I talked about her to people at work last year. Most of them said she was using me and I shouldn't keep in touch. Some begged me.

I wrote about her on forums and people wrote back saying 'she is using you' etc.

I acted on people's advice and stopped replying to her messages. This was in January and she was upset. After a short exchange on facebook I thought that was it. Anyway I had a think about things and changed my mind. When we met for coffee it was obvious she was keen to be friends.

The other one, people have been roughly the same. Even though I tell them I am lonely and I don't have many friends, they say I shouldn't have anything to do with her. But I don't see the harm if it's the odd text and occasional visit.

I tend to be optimistic about people (perhaps too much?) so I was replying from that point of view.

It sounds like you respect the opinions of your friends but ultimately made up your own mind to keep seeing her, which I think is a good place to be. However like Sophia and the others have said, just be aware if things start becoming unequal. For example make sure you're not paying all the time, make sure you're not bending over backwards for them all the time, and such.

I don't want to turn this into a gender socialisation discussion because the thread will just go off-topic. But it's just untrue that no girls feel attracted to feminized men. Just like it's untrue that no men feel attracted to masculine women. What is 'manhood,' anyway? I don't think it's bad to be 'just another girlfriend' - not if you don't mind, anyway (if you're sitting there haplessly lusting after her, then it's another matter). Why is being feminized dangerous? I'm not trying to start an argument or anything, I just don't understand it and felt I should share that.

the feminisism points don't apply to me.

I think I've got to learn not to jump the gun and think the wrong things. I sent a text on Sunday morning to the one I was seeing before xmas. She replied straight away and said she was still in bed watching a dvd. I thought fine but then thought 'hey she hasn't even got a dvd player, never mind one in her bedroom' - so I thought she had replied from the bed of her fella, his house. Which I thought was a bit strange.

I spent a few days thinking about it, sort of thinking why she even bothers with me when she's got someone. Anyway I got some texts from her yesterday night. Mostly about her new job. She mentioned she had bought a new tv and dvd player and has it in her bedroom.

Which explains everything I suppose.

 

[putter65]

I've got 2 women friends now. Both are in relationships, yet they seem to want to be friends with me.

One of them I ignored for awhile but we met up last week and she wants me to keep in touch. She also wants to play golf with me when the weather gets better. We played a bit last year. (Golf is main hobby by the way !)

The other one is that 'fake holiday woman' - she answers my texts straight away and when I suggest a meeting she always says 'yes' - yet I know she is in a relationship with some other guy.

I'm not complaining, at least I have some friends. But I wonder why they still want to know me. Do women like having male friends ? And what is it about me that makes them want me just as a friend ?

The first woman is definately paying me more attention than last year. She sent me a text on Wednesday and a bunch today. She asked me all sorts of questions about myself, what I get up to on my days off etc.

I wonder if it's anything to do with me telling her how I used to feel about her. I told her I had feelings about her. I did last year, now I am not as bothered. Last year, when I wanted her to get in touch, she hardly bothered.

 

[Ak5]

Relax man, don't over-think things.

 

[putter65]

Relax man, don't over-think things.

Thanks.

I'm okay just wondering a bit.

Last year I was in love with her and it was quite awfull wanting to be with her all the time. It's so different now. I hardly think about her even when she is paying me all this attention. She's sent me more texts this week than all of the last year. Maybe she feels sorry for me ?

But anyway it's cool !

 

[Ak5]

Don't know. If you're not interested in her romantically, you can still be her friend? Reconnect with her, possibly.

But anyway, yeah, keep it cool.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Idk ...man

So Ive been flirting wiht Heather for a little while now.
My friend alway accused me of coking blocking him...
Becuase he likes her

Heather flirts with me back becuase She knows of just flirting with her.
I compliment her all the time becuase she's a very beautiful woman.
But i do it differntly then my friend.

Sarah dose the samething with me. She'll always make herself
avaliable to me. My friend likes her too...but Sarah and I will
go have dinner and stuff like that.
So my freind was kindda getting fustrated at me last week
becuase Sarah kept coming over to visit and hang out with me.

Eariler tonight my friend was hitting on Heather again...
But Heather kept talking to me.
He freaken said it right out that I was cocking blocking him
so Heather could hear it.LMAO
So that didnt go over too well.

So I kept pionting out another beautiful babe to my friend
but it kind of went over his head becuase he was still
hung up on Heather.

Then later tonight...We kind of met Barbera ( a complete stranger).
My friend gose up and say something to her and she didnt response
to him...but right after that I complimented her. I Tell her how beautiful
she is...in my own way. She responded back to me with a blush
and smile. Then started talking to me.

So my friend was like...
"did you get her number...ect..ect???"
I was like...Dude, The next time she sees me. She and i will talk more.
Yeah man, keep it cool....

So I went outside of the club to hang out.
First I was just talking to a couple of dudes I didnt even know...about whatever.

Then two hot babes walks out of the club.
I said hello to them and they both responded back to me. ( I had to say something.lol)
So Im standing there chit chating with two young hot babes I barely met.
The next thing i know my friend is standing over looking my mother shoulders.hahahaaaaaa

So later my friend was going on and on about how Malisa dose the samething.
Always saying stupid **** laughing and joking around with me all the time.

There's plenty chicks avaliable ...man.
Keep it cool.....

 

[putter65]

Idk ...man

So Ive been flirting wiht Heather for a little while now.
My friend alway accused me of coking blocking him...
Becuase he likes her

Heather flirts with me back becuase She knows of just flirting with her.
I compliment her all the time becuase she's a very beautiful woman.
But i do it differntly then my friend.

Sarah dose the samething with me. She'll always make herself
avaliable to me. My friend likes her too...but Sarah and I will
go have dinner and stuff like that.
So my freind was kindda getting fustrated at me last week
becuase Sarah kept coming over to visit and hang out with me.

Eariler tonight my friend was hitting on Heather again...
But Heather kept talking to me.
He freaken said it right out that I was cocking blocking him
so Heather could hear it.LMAO
So that didnt go over too well.

So I kept pionting out another beautiful babe to my friend
but it kind of went over his head becuase he was still
hung up on Heather.

Then later tonight...We kind of met Barbera ( a complete stranger).
My friend gose up and say something to her and she didnt response
to him...but right after that I complimented her. I Tell her how beautiful
she is...in my own way. She responded back to me with a blush
and smile. Then started talking to me.

So my friend was like...
"did you get her number...ect..ect???"
I was like...Dude, The next time she sees me. She and i will talk more.
Yeah man, keep it cool....

So I went outside of the club to hang out.
First I was just talking to a couple of dudes I didnt even know...about whatever.

Then two hot babes walks out of the club.
I said hello to them and they both responded back to me. ( I had to say something.lol)
So Im standing there chit chating with two young hot babes I barely met.
The next thing i know my friend is standing over looking my mother shoulders.hahahaaaaaa

So later my friend was going on and on about how Malisa dose the samething.
Always saying stupid **** laughing and joking around with me all the time.

There's plenty chicks avaliable ...man.
Keep it cool.....

your life is more exciting than mine lol !

 

[Lonesome Crow]

your life is more exciting than mine lol !

Probably in a ****** up kind of way.

Im saperated from Sassy(renae). Going through a break up
with her had always been a mess everytime. Ive been chasing
her all over the USA for the past year. I moved 5-6 times.

I dont even have a place of my own or a place i can call home
anymore. Im not settle in anywhere. My belongings are
scatters at three different places. I live out of a duffle bag
at the moment. I go back and forth every other week
from family and friends. (with this in itself I feel restless)

I lost my truck while I was in TX.
This is the first time in my life i havnt own a vechical since
I was a kid. Everytime I break up with her...I alway loose
my fucken car or almost everything...Including my fucken mind.lol

I feel like a drifter cuase that's how my life had been for the
past year. ( Ive had my own home 2 cars in the garage..ect, for over 20 years)

Im 45 and chasing women half my age.
but all Ive ever wanted was to be with Sassy since we were teenagers.
For us to settle down and have a family.

On the other hand...my friend is a millionair.
He has 2 nice big ass house he can stay at.
( i stay in the extra guess house at one of his home)
He dosnt really need to work and for the most part.
Fincially he can take care of a woman or a family
without lifting a finger.....
Thats his pitch to women.lol

Believe it or not...my top priority isnt women at the moment.
Im saving money for a fucken CAR.lol
I just go out and have a good time and what not.
I also know it's important that I dont isolate myself
no matter how ****** up my living arrangment may be at the moment.
Yes, other women had alway filled that void or make it less painful.

 

[putter65]

your life is more exciting than mine lol !

Probably in a ****** up kind of way.

Im saperated from Sassy(renae). Going through a break up
with her had always been a mess everytime. Ive been chasing
her all over the USA for the past year. I moved 5-6 times.

I dont even have a place of my own or a place i can call home
anymore. Im not settle in anywhere. My belongings are
scatters at three different places. I live out of a duffle bag
at the moment. I go back and forth every other week
from family and friends. (with this in itself I feel restless)

I lost my truck while I was in TX.
This is the first time in my life i havnt own a vechical since
I was a kid. Everytime I break up with her...I alway loose
my fucken car or almost everything...Including my fucken mind.lol

I feel like a drifter cuase that's how my life had been for the
past year. ( Ive had my own home 2 cars in the garage..ect, for over 20 years)

Im 45 and chasing women half my age.
but all Ive ever wanted was to be with Sassy since we were teenagers.
For us to settle down and have a family.

On the other hand...my friend is a millionair.
He has 2 nice big ass house he can stay at.
( i stay in the extra guess house at one of his home)
He dosnt really need to work and for the most part.
Fincially he can take care of a woman or a family
without lifting a finger.....
Thats his pitch to women.lol

Believe it or not...my top priority isnt women at the moment.
Im saving money for a fucken CAR.lol
I just go out and have a good time and what not.
I also know it's important that I dont isolate myself
no matter how ****** up my living arrangment may be at the moment.
Yes, other women had alway filled that void or make it less painful.

yesterday was an exciting day for me. Worked a silly 6 in the morning until 10 shift. Then played a round of golf with my Dad. Got home at 2pm.

4pm I get this text from a woman called Lisa. A long text for her, more than the usual few words. So I answer it and she replies to that. Asks me questions, what am I doing on my days off, how is the piano playing going. So I answer all her questions. We go back and forth a bit more, take care etc, see u soon. She hardly bothered with me last year when I wanted her to. Now I'm getting alot of texts from her when I'm not that bothered.

I then send a text to my brother, just an update about the football team we support. He replied to that.

I then get a phone call saying I won a prize draw at this golf shop. I won 72 golf balls, worth over £200. I go onto facebook and post a few messages with a few women from work. I then send a text to my other female friend (the fake holiday one), just telling her about my win. She replied saying she wishes she had my luck. Go back and forth with her a bit.

Go back on facebook and some more posts with women from work.

That was a busy day for me lol !

I'm nothing much like you, I've lived in the same house all my life, never driven, had the same job for 15 years !

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I'm nothing much like you, I've lived in the same house all my life, never driven, had the same job for 15 years !

This is your problem, dude. You need to get an exciting life. Women may say that they want predictability, but they never do...it's just something they say. They actually want a man who is exciting and adventurous.

 

[putter65]

I'm nothing much like you, I've lived in the same house all my life, never driven, had the same job for 15 years !

This is your problem, dude. You need to get an exciting life. Women may say that they want predictability, but they never do...it's just something they say. They actually want a man who is exciting and adventurous.

you can add never goes on holidays to my list. Or goes out, drinks.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I'm nothing much like you, I've lived in the same house all my life, never driven, had the same job for 15 years !

This is your problem, dude. You need to get an exciting life. Women may say that they want predictability, but they never do...it's just something they say. They actually want a man who is exciting and adventurous.

you can add never goes on holidays to my list. Or goes out, drinks.

Thats why I need my own freaken ride again. so I can get more variety
of activities going like I used to.

Malisa and Sarah alway wants me to go to a night club with them
becuase they like to dance.

Sassy and I use to dance in the middle of the street or dance
in bar joints without anyone else on the dance floor or anywhere.lol
She's a really good dancer.

Melisa walked into the nightclub ALONE....I was like, Hell yes

Women likes to dance.

I dont do the on-line dating crap. Thats too much ********.
Face to Face....This way I can check out thier T n A

Its gonna be YES, NO or MAYBE so...right off the bat.
I dont have to **** around with texting and guessing games ********.

I live in a small cummunity of 35K.
The town is relatively quite. Just resturants, movies or the mall.
There's only a couple of dance club that gets packed after 11 PM during the weekends.
So it's not as if Im a freaken bar fly.
So its always nice to have Sarah visit during the week
I get bored with her sometimes...but its just me going through whatever.

 

[The Good Citizen]

I'm nothing much like you, I've lived in the same house all my life, never driven, had the same job for 15 years !

This is your problem, dude. You need to get an exciting life. Women may say that they want predictability, but they never do...it's just something they say. They actually want a man who is exciting and adventurous.

Do you really think every woman on the planet and every man on the planet all want exactly the same sort of person as a partner? Or that every man in a relationship on this planet is exciting and adventurous?

Theres no need to take up extreme base jumping in the hope it will get you a girlfriend, just sign up for match.com!

 

[SophiaGrace]

You should get out more, if just for youself. Ya'know?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

When Sassy and I saperarted last summer. We moved to NV.
I moved back to CA...then I moved in with Jennifer.
That was before Tracy and I had to get **** straigten out.
I kicked Tracy to burb for Sassy
So I went to AZ for a little while.
Then I broke up with Jennifer and moved to LA.
Then I met hooked up with Juliet....
Juliet was telling me to Not answer my text to Sassy ( I wonder Y?lol)
Juliet was a little bit homecidal. Tracy just wanted to kick me in the
nuts a couple of times.lmao
I fucken drove to TX to be with Sassy again.
So Im back in CA again.lmao
Yeah...man
Just get out more...
[youtube]X9bOsdHckhg[/youtube]