I get up and go to work most everyday but have always felt worthless because I always was and still unloved by my mother. I never bonded with her or anyone as a baby or early childhood. There is no memory of ever being held or cuddled. I can go days and not call her and she won’t call but won’t hesitate to call the others. I was the scapegoat, rag doll, slave, punching bag growing up. I overheard my sibling talking about me to my mother and it made me feel horrible.
I have a pet I spoil and adore and work hard but pray for death so I can go to Heaven. She will probably read this because she has a PhD in spying. I am tired of feeling sorry for pouring my heart out then feeling like God will punish me.
She destroyed ny friendship with my aunt. My mom is part flowers in the attic and mommy dearest mom. My sister described her as narcissist, personality disorder, evil. I just beg Jesus to adopt me.