Maybe.
Would you teach your kids to be independant?
Would you teach your kids to be independant?
would you or wouldn't you
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Claudia1794
Well-known member
10+ years ago, yes. The exhibitionist days are no more.
Would you watch or walk away if you caught people having sex in a park?
Would you watch or walk away if you caught people having sex in a park?
Claudia1794
Well-known member
Nah, not my thing.
If you caught your partner in the act with someone else, would you wait it out or stop it?
If you caught your partner in the act with someone else, would you wait it out or stop it?
CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
Ugh wait it out...hope she's worth ittt...
Would you kiss your ex if it could save their life?
Would you kiss your ex if it could save their life?
user 135671
21st Century Boy
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Yeah defo, just because I know how much it would piss her off!
Would you read your partners diary given the chance?
CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
No... and I'd break up with him for having one in the first place lol
would you rather your child get bullied or be the bully?
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TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
^damn, that is a hard question.
On the one hand, having been bullied myself, and having heard about others that got it even worse, I wouldn't wish it on anyone - at least not anyone who is innocent. I might wish it on people who choose to be bullies themselves though, so they can get back what they dish out.
I wouldn't want someone to get bullied and internalize the victim mentality, being meek and timid, that they are inherently weak and inferior, that low status is their natural and rightful place in life, etc. It's poison to your confidence, identity, and overall sense of well-being.
If I had a kid and they were getting bullied, I would say you have to hit back, talk back, do something back to stand up for yourself and be assertive. If you're small, you have to lift weights, learn a martial art, do something because the problem is not going to magically go away on its own - you have to make it more trouble and risk than it's worth for the bully, otherwise they'll continue to see it as a free ego boost for them, and to continue to see you as weak, prey, a victim - and they'll keep coming back to kick you whenever they feel like it. Standing up and fighting back makes it less fun and easy for them, then it becomes work, and a chance that they could lose face instead. That might make them think twice. But waiting for the problem to go away on its own is taking a passive, powerless approach to life, and comes from a place of viewing yourself as a person who doesn't have any power, and is completely at the mercy of circumstances or other people. It's not a good thing to be. If you wait for the problem to go away on its own, by the time it does, there might not be any of your self-esteem, self-image, confidence, pride, or dignity left. I would say, don't worry about getting in trouble because people who punish you for sticking up for yourself, aren't your friends and don't care about you, they're not on your side. If they punish you for sticking up for yourself and fighting back, then they are de facto condoning and protecting the bully, and are effectively on the bully's side against you. No matter what, you can't just do nothing. You can't sit or stand there and just take it, and establish yourself - both to others and yourself - as someone who just takes it. A little bit of detention, some teacher or parent not liking you anymore, things like that, are a small price to pay to avoid the humiliation and regret you might feel from allowing yourself to get insulted, pushed around, dominated, and not sticking up for yourself - it could do some lasting damage long after the actual incident is over.
One of the reasons I rarely if ever fought back or talked back growing up was that I worried about my image, that the teachers or even the bullies' parents wouldn't think I was nice anymore, but mean and "bad" instead. But what I didn't realize is, they never gave a damn about me. I don't know about the teachers, but the parents would always choose their kids over me even if they were in the wrong, so I shouldn't have cared about what they thought of me.
I regret not fighting back or mouthing off to people that bullied me growing up, when I should have - probably why I don't hesitate to mouth off to people that screw with me on here. But the few times I did stick up for myself, I look back and felt like I did the right thing. Remember, bullies are trying to humiliate and lower you, dominate and destroy you, for nothing more than their selfish gain, their childish, sick amusement. So because of that, I never felt bad about insulting, swearing at, or physically hurting someone who tried to bully me.
On the other hand, I wouldn't want my kid to be the bully either, because while I wouldn't want them to be a victim and internalize feelings of inferiority, I wouldn't want them to be a predator either, an elitist, a cowardly, dishonorable person, and I deeply feel like anyone who thinks it's perfectly acceptable to bully others, has something wrong with them at their core. A key part of their humanity is missing, or corrupted.
Honestly I think it would probably be easier to fix someone who is being bullied, than it is to fix a bully. With someone being bullied, you teach them that it's OK and right to stand up for yourself. But with a bully, you have to somehow get them to understand that what they're doing is bad, and to get them to want to stop being a bad person on their own. And most bullies don't want to do that, because they believe they're stronger/richer/better/etc., and that might makes right, so they don't think they're doing anything wrong.
Anyway, I can't answer. Ceno's question still stands, for the next person:
On the one hand, having been bullied myself, and having heard about others that got it even worse, I wouldn't wish it on anyone - at least not anyone who is innocent. I might wish it on people who choose to be bullies themselves though, so they can get back what they dish out.
I wouldn't want someone to get bullied and internalize the victim mentality, being meek and timid, that they are inherently weak and inferior, that low status is their natural and rightful place in life, etc. It's poison to your confidence, identity, and overall sense of well-being.
If I had a kid and they were getting bullied, I would say you have to hit back, talk back, do something back to stand up for yourself and be assertive. If you're small, you have to lift weights, learn a martial art, do something because the problem is not going to magically go away on its own - you have to make it more trouble and risk than it's worth for the bully, otherwise they'll continue to see it as a free ego boost for them, and to continue to see you as weak, prey, a victim - and they'll keep coming back to kick you whenever they feel like it. Standing up and fighting back makes it less fun and easy for them, then it becomes work, and a chance that they could lose face instead. That might make them think twice. But waiting for the problem to go away on its own is taking a passive, powerless approach to life, and comes from a place of viewing yourself as a person who doesn't have any power, and is completely at the mercy of circumstances or other people. It's not a good thing to be. If you wait for the problem to go away on its own, by the time it does, there might not be any of your self-esteem, self-image, confidence, pride, or dignity left. I would say, don't worry about getting in trouble because people who punish you for sticking up for yourself, aren't your friends and don't care about you, they're not on your side. If they punish you for sticking up for yourself and fighting back, then they are de facto condoning and protecting the bully, and are effectively on the bully's side against you. No matter what, you can't just do nothing. You can't sit or stand there and just take it, and establish yourself - both to others and yourself - as someone who just takes it. A little bit of detention, some teacher or parent not liking you anymore, things like that, are a small price to pay to avoid the humiliation and regret you might feel from allowing yourself to get insulted, pushed around, dominated, and not sticking up for yourself - it could do some lasting damage long after the actual incident is over.
One of the reasons I rarely if ever fought back or talked back growing up was that I worried about my image, that the teachers or even the bullies' parents wouldn't think I was nice anymore, but mean and "bad" instead. But what I didn't realize is, they never gave a damn about me. I don't know about the teachers, but the parents would always choose their kids over me even if they were in the wrong, so I shouldn't have cared about what they thought of me.
I regret not fighting back or mouthing off to people that bullied me growing up, when I should have - probably why I don't hesitate to mouth off to people that screw with me on here. But the few times I did stick up for myself, I look back and felt like I did the right thing. Remember, bullies are trying to humiliate and lower you, dominate and destroy you, for nothing more than their selfish gain, their childish, sick amusement. So because of that, I never felt bad about insulting, swearing at, or physically hurting someone who tried to bully me.
On the other hand, I wouldn't want my kid to be the bully either, because while I wouldn't want them to be a victim and internalize feelings of inferiority, I wouldn't want them to be a predator either, an elitist, a cowardly, dishonorable person, and I deeply feel like anyone who thinks it's perfectly acceptable to bully others, has something wrong with them at their core. A key part of their humanity is missing, or corrupted.
Honestly I think it would probably be easier to fix someone who is being bullied, than it is to fix a bully. With someone being bullied, you teach them that it's OK and right to stand up for yourself. But with a bully, you have to somehow get them to understand that what they're doing is bad, and to get them to want to stop being a bad person on their own. And most bullies don't want to do that, because they believe they're stronger/richer/better/etc., and that might makes right, so they don't think they're doing anything wrong.
Anyway, I can't answer. Ceno's question still stands, for the next person:
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That's so difficult to answer. Its, I wouldn't want neither to happen. Because both are horrible to experience. Of course if I had a child I wouldn't want it to get bullied as that has some serious affects, but I wouldn't want to be a bully. But, I think I'd have to choose be a bully because I couldn't let my child be hurt etc but it's so difficult
Claudia1794
Well-known member
Well I would rather my son be the bully. He totally isn't and never will be. He was picked on by one kid and then his cousin. He eventually stood up for himself but felt bad about it. Even now when he gets upset he takes out on a punching bag instead of going off on people. I think deep down he is trying to tell me that he doesn't want to be anything like me which I totally get. Hell, sometimes even I don't want to be me but I'd rather him be the bully than the person bullied.
Would you accept a dinner party invitation if you knew your ex was going to be there with their current partner?
Would you accept a dinner party invitation if you knew your ex was going to be there with their current partner?
getting bullied ... he can be taught to protect against it while on long term a guilty conscience can't be erased ... also karma usually takes care of the bullies
EDIT Would you accept a dinner party invitation if you knew your ex was going to be there with their current partner?
EDIT Would you accept a dinner party invitation if you knew your ex was going to be there with their current partner?
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Claudia1794
Well-known member
Yes, I would but that was my question. To answer your question I'm going to say yes because that would mean that I fell for him. Definitely yes if it were Bill Skarsgard. I'd climb him like a ladder.
Would you tell someone if you thought they were being inappropriate?
Would you tell someone if you thought they were being inappropriate?
depends what kind situation are you having in mind ... how much inappropriate, how much awareness was in their inappropriateness, will I ever meet them again in my life or was just something random etc
same question
same question
Claudia1794
Well-known member
I wouldn't unless they asked me directly for my opinion. Who am I to tell someone other than my son what is appropriate and not?
Would you help a woman put air in her tire if she looked as though she was having difficulties?
Would you help a woman put air in her tire if she looked as though she was having difficulties?
Cherubino answered just before me. Ha! Ha!
But, Absolutely. I've actually changed tires for several women before. A couple times I was out riding my bicycle and saw women not able to remove the lug nuts. So, I went over and R&Rd the tire with the spare. Then I got back on my bicycle and road off into the sunset. Ha! ha!
Ha! ha! I would be the charity sex.
Would you call the police if you were only in a fender bender?
But, Absolutely. I've actually changed tires for several women before. A couple times I was out riding my bicycle and saw women not able to remove the lug nuts. So, I went over and R&Rd the tire with the spare. Then I got back on my bicycle and road off into the sunset. Ha! ha!
Ha! ha! I would be the charity sex.
Would you call the police if you were only in a fender bender?
Claudia1794
Well-known member
I wouldn't have to, these police are always there when you don't need them and never around when you do.
Would you report a rude employee to the home office? (Retail, like Dick's)
Would you report a rude employee to the home office? (Retail, like Dick's)
I used to do that. If someone was great or really bad I would talk to the store manager and sometimes contact corporate. I was treated really bad at one store and followed outside. Not smart. The supervisor almost got hurt really bad. I sent a letter to corporate and ended up with a nice check for the problem, the supervisor was fired, and the store completely remodeled.
Would you do anything some store clerk or supervisor instructed you to do?
Would you do anything some store clerk or supervisor instructed you to do?
Claudia1794
Well-known member
Uh no, not anything. Probably not even the job if I was in a foul mood but that's why I don't work a normal job. My boss is a millionaire with dementia. I just hang out and make sure she doesn't hurt herself.
Would you disrupt a community meeting if you didn't like their silly rules?
Would you disrupt a community meeting if you didn't like their silly rules?
