You know your lonely when

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When you looking for someone to talk on the other side of the world.

When you can wear same clothes for a week or longer.

When all the words you say are directed to you.

When going to the shop is for you most socialization activity.

When you want to look pretty but anyway no one will see.

When you always have "0 messages" everywhere even if you're gone for a few days.

When you are moved by porn movies.

When you mustn't worry that someone may thwart your plans.
 
When you're screaming inside but still act as if everything is okay when people ask.

When you get drunk at nine in the morning because honestly what else is there to do.

When you deeply felt something for someone but never actually told them then and now never will.

When you don't even leave the house for the majority of your week.

When you go on snapchat just to see all the stories from the people you used to talk to. (Or used to be friends with if you ever really were.)

When all the songs that made you feel good just don't do it for you anymore.

When you'd rather go online to socialize than talk to any of the people that you know.
 
When you get back your hotmail account after a year and you only find 500 spam messages and bills.
 
You want study buddies, but are emotionally incapable of reaching out and inevitably experiencing more rejection, sexist comments, and disregarded no's than legit interest. So you sit there with your books trying to focus even though you feel you should pack up and leave before you make a fool of yourself with your failure, and have felt that way for days.
 
When you feel like screaming at the world for help, yet no one seems to notice it.
 
When the people who surround you don't care a lick about anything you say but you stay with them anyway because there is no one else better.
 
When you look in the mirror and take a few minutes starting at your face...your nose, your eyes, your ears, your mouth...and wonder to yourself: Who the hell is this?

Take a step back and look at the back of your hands. That scratch you got while pruning the bushes outside, right below your knuckle. The veins running through your hands. The many tiny diamonds and trapezoids that appear between the dry lines.

Turn your hands over and open them, stretch them as wide as you can until your palms are white and the lines on them glow red from the blood pressure exerted upon them.

Close and open your hands repeatedly and watch the muscles undulate beneath, slide under your capillaries and veins. Tendons flexing on command.

Then you think, who gave me this machine and why? This must be a mistake because I've not been able to do anything with it. This machine, decades old, has done nothing but exist. This machine, according to the laws of evolution, is supposed to interact with other machines. Sight, touch, smell, sound and taste. But nothing of the sort has happened. Is this machine broken? No, not broken, but inferior. The model is missing something, something that 99.9999% of other models have, but you don't. Sorry, you just won the lottery, the lottery no one wants to win.

Thanks for playing buddy, you're the big winner! Your prize is the knowledge that everyone else can breathe a sigh of relief.
 
You go to work on holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas just so you don't have to sit home and be reminded of how completely alone you are... Which always ends up backfiring once you arrive and see that the parking lot is completely empty, and only gets worse when you enter your vacant building and somberly walk to your office through the abandoned hallways, as if you were a ghost. Each line of code, a painful reminder that you are completely alone on a day about happiness and being with your loved ones.
 
WaterBreather said:
When you look in the mirror and take a few minutes starting at your face...your nose, your eyes, your ears, your mouth...and wonder to yourself: Who the hell is this?

Take a step back and look at the back of your hands. That scratch you got while pruning the bushes outside, right below your knuckle. The veins running through your hands. The many tiny diamonds and trapezoids that appear between the dry lines.

Turn your hands over and open them, stretch them as wide as you can until your palms are white and the lines on them glow red from the blood pressure exerted upon them.

Close and open your hands repeatedly and watch the muscles undulate beneath, slide under your capillaries and veins. Tendons flexing on command.

Then you think, who gave me this machine and why? This must be a mistake because I've not been able to do anything with it. This machine, decades old, has done nothing but exist. This machine, according to the laws of evolution, is supposed to interact with other machines. Sight, touch, smell, sound and taste. But nothing of the sort has happened. Is this machine broken? No, not broken, but inferior. The model is missing something, something that 99.9999% of other models have, but you don't. Sorry, you just won the lottery, the lottery no one wants to win.

Thanks for playing buddy, you're the big winner! Your prize is the knowledge that everyone else can breathe a sigh of relief.

Wow, can relate to that!


Laying in bed at night by yourself, you wonder if you can hide the feelings of loneliness, despair and worthlessness from your co-workers at work tomorrow.
 

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