For me, I always felt different from guys my age.It's funny, I spent my whole childhood being told how I didn't fit in, and how my bio family are from poverty and blah blah... to the point that I hesitate in telling people when the inevitable question comes up... "So, where are you really from?". People judge so harshly when you are different that all I wanted to do was be the same...
I did not feel physically strong, I did not feel like a macho, didn't want to talk about cars or football teams (I don't watch sports) the whole time.
Although I felt some pride in being different, sometimes I wanted to be like everyone else, because I did not feel really accepted.
Isn't that a bit how you feel?
That you don't mind looking a bit different, as long as people accept you as you are, and this wish to be like everyone else in reality is just a wish to be accepted?